D-I-V-O-R-C-E
Sep 20 '00
Going through a divorce is never easy for any of the parties concerned, whether it be the children or the parents! I have never heard a couple with children state that it had been "an easy Divorce"!
My 1st marriage crumbled after being together 12 years and 3 daughters later. It had been eroding for the last 6 of those years, and I had been telling myself that I was holding on for "the children's sake".
The truth of the matter was, we weren't only destroying each other but our precious daughters' as well!
All the years we had spent together, I think my 1st husband had maybe held a real job 2 of those years. He never could find anything that agreed with him. If it wasn't EASY, he didn't want any part of it.
He started staying gone 3 or 4 days at a time and when he did come home, it was only after he had been using drugs or drinking heavily! That is where the abuse started coming into the already deseperate picture.
If I went shopping with a girlfriend from work, he would meet me at the door with his fist! He either wanted me home with children so he could party or he wanted me to be at work, so he would have spending money for his next adventure.
It really was a pitiful situation and I felt (for years), that there was NO WAY out! He didn't allow me to drive, or visit my family...so the outside world was totally foreign to me (except for work, of course). I thought for several of those years that I had actually did something so bad,that I deserved this treatment! I was so wrong!
His problems were within himself and no matter what I did, he would be the person he wanted to be. I, and no one else was responsible for his actions!
Finally, in 1995, I was fed up with going nowhere. I wanted BETTER for me and especially for my daughters. It was an extremely ugly divorce, he stalked me for a number of months, broke into our home to get to me more than one time and the harrassment was total HELL!
But, we overcame all of these obstacles, one by one. I started driving , I started depending on myself and I knew I could raise these girls the way they needed to be raised. I had alot of help and support from my Parents and loved ones, and the amount of time I spent with my friends finally made up for all the years that I wasn't allowed to have any.
Never again will someone else RULE my life, like I am in a prison. Because I was captured in a mental prison, in my own mind!
My children seem to be well rounded for the most part. I know it was very hard on them at times and I thank God for giving me and my daughters' the gift of communication. We would all 4 sit and talk for hours on end, about the marriage and how they knew it wasn't anything they had done wrong, for it to end.
I only believe in DIVORCE if there is domestic violence, mental abuse, or some severe problem in the marriage that just cannot be solved!
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Epinions.com ID:
TRACIMAY31
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Location: Alabama
Reviews written: 234
Trusted by: 65 members
About Me:
I'm a Mother of 3 beautiful daughters and 2 male cats. Hope you enjoy!
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