5 Solutions To The Violence That Has Overcome Our Kid's Lives **WRITE OFF**
Nov 25 '00
This is my submission to the “5 Solutions to the violence that has overcome our kids lives”
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To have to sum it up in 5 ways, is very hard for me to do. There are so many ways and most of them are related in some way or another. Keeping that in mind, know it was a little difficult for me to come up with specific topics, so I had a discussion with a good friend of mine who has a 1 year old baby and got some of her wisdom and concerns for this. Not being a parent myself I needed some sage advice from an experienced parent.
***1 – Marketing / TV / Video Games
Computer, Playstation (1 and 2), Nintendo, Dreamcast, video games are more high tech, with way better graphics and a much higher quality game play. The most popular games on the market are shoot’em up type games (Quake, Doom) Fighting games are also very popular (Mortal Kombat, Killer Instinct, Tekken) Everything about these games scream violence and death. “Finish Him” Mortal Kombat says when you are about to perform your fatality (death move, which can be to blow someone up, to ripping their spine out and even decapitating people) Good example for our kids. The demographic for the majority of the people who play this game ranges from 13 and up. (they do have a rating system like with movies but anyone can buy the games) So 6 year olds are trying to mimic their brother and play these games. Subjecting them to violence they take part in and assume is O.K.
Cartoons are becoming more violent, movies, Made for TV movies, all depicting violence and easily accessible to formative minds. Toys, and everything else for kids now a days are violence based. Solution : STOP MARKETING VIOLENCE TO CHILDREN. Quite simple if you think about it. I’m not one to condone violence in games and cartoons but fact is it will remain a part of it for a long time. Parents, don’t allow your kids to watch these shows or play these games. Stop buying your kids toy guns, and toys based in violence. We need a little less “promotion” of violence.
***2. – Educate Your Children
Whoever said “Ignorance is no excuse” sure hit the nail on the head. Talk to your kids about violence. Why it goes on in the world. Try to give them a better understanding of what it comes from. Teach them that there are alternatives to violence. Teach them to talk about their problems, walk away from a potential situation and make sure they understand that violence doesn’t solve anything. Make sure your kids stay in school. Try if you can to send your child to a school that is safe for them. Stay involved with their lives and know what goes on in their school.
***3. Grow them up right.
Raise children in a loving environment. Set a good example for your children. If you need to argue do it quietly and never hit anyone in front of a child. Children are very impressionable (monkey see – monkey do) and may get the wrong idea about violence. Seeing it at home is a sure fire way to let a child think that violence is O.K.
If you need to discipline your child, don’t go overboard and beat him silly. A good crack on the butt (just one) learned me quick. I’m sure it’ll more then suffice if that’s how you choose to do it. There are alternatives to spanking that I’m sure can be as, if not more effective then physical contact. Depending on age: Quiet Time, No Desert, Grounded, No TV, Stay in Room (I could go on forever) will all work very well.
Teach them to respect themselves as well as others. I would say a great start to avoiding violence is to teach them that color is NOT an issue. Teach them that we are all human, all the same (when it comes down to it) and to love everyone (not in a hippie kind of way) To much violence today is racially, politically and religiously based. Guidance is what children need most and as a parent it is our responsibility.
***4 – Give your child something to do
Kids shouldn’t be running the streets after school while mom and dad are at work. After school activities can play a crucial part in helping one avoid violence. Whether it be sports, band, drama club or some other activity to keep them occupied, interested and off the streets, we need to involve our children in them. Get some community based activity centers for kids to hang out at after school. Be involved in your kid’s life as much as possible. Get involved in PTA and local community organizations to stay informed of potential problems that exist around your town and in your schools.
The final or 5th part to my submission is taken from a web site. I find it hard to distinguish different solutions because so many of them are intertwined in some way. There are just too many ways to combat this dilemma that we, our children and children’s children face. This web site has 10 things you can do to solve this problem. I’ve picked the 5 most appropriate (in my opinion, resources used listed at the bottom of this review)
* 1.Talk to Your Children
Keeping the lines of communication open with your children and teens is an important step to keeping involved in their schoolwork, friends, and activities. Communicating with your child does not have to be a game of 20 questions—ask open-ended questions and use phrases such as "tell me more" and "what do you think?" Phrases like these show your children that you are listening and that you want to hear more about their opinions, ideas, and how they view the world. Start important discussions with your children—about violence, smoking, drugs, sex, drinking, death—even if the topics are difficult or embarrassing. Don't wait for your children or teens to come to you.
* 2. Set Clear Rules and Limits for Your Children Children need clearly defined rules and limits set for them so that they know what is expected of them and the consequences for not complying. When setting family rules and limits, be sure children understand the purpose behind the rules and be consistent in enforcing them. Discipline is more effective if children have been involved in establishing the rules and, oftentimes, in deciding the consequences. Work together to set limits for behavior at home and at school. Remember to be fair and flexible—as your children grow older, they become ready for expanded rights and changes in rules and limits. Parents also need to model appropriate and positive behaviors. When parents say one thing and do another, they lose credibility with their children. Show your children through your actions how to adhere to rules and regulations, be responsible, have empathy toward others, control anger, and manage stress *3.Know the warning signs Knowing what's normal behavior for your son or daughter can help you recognize even small changes in behavior and give you an early warning that something is troubling your child. Sudden changes—from subtle to dramatic—should alert parents to potential problems. These could include withdrawal from friends, decline in grades, abruptly quitting sports or clubs the child had previously enjoyed, sleep disruptions, eating problems, evasiveness, lying, and chronic physical complaints (stomachache or headaches). Know your child well and know the early warning signs.
*4. Work to Influence Lawmakers and Decision Makers
Writing an editorial for the local newspaper, holding a petition drive, speaking before a school board meeting, or sending a letter to your legislator can be effective ways to voice your opinion and gain support from decision makers for violence prevention programs in your community. The National PTA has historically advocated for legislation and resources parents need to assist them in raising their children including greater funding for public schools, gun safety, family-friendly policies, more school counselors, before- and after-school programs, and community-wide violence prevention programs. When taking a position on an issue, do your homework and use facts to support your opinion or statements. Working with other concerned parents, teachers, and community members, you can influence local, state and even federal decisions that affect the education, safety, and well-being of our children.
*5. Don't be Afraid to Parent; Know When to Intervene
Parents need to step in and intervene when children exhibit behavior or attitudes that could potentially harm them or others. It's okay to be concerned when you notice warning signs in a child, and it's even more appropriate to do something about those concerns. Concerned parents should seek a diagnosis from a doctor, school counselor, or other mental health professional trained to assess young people. And you don't have to deal with problems alone—the most effective interventions have parent, school, and health professionals working together to provide on-going monitoring and support.
*Taken from Parenting Matters “10 ways to reduce violence”
http://www.gopbi.com/community/groups/parentingmatters
Additional Resources for you to visit if you are truly interested in solving this problem. WE as a whole, not just as a parent are responsible for molding our children’s future. Let’s do it right.
Kids and Guns - http://www.kidsandguns.org - Protect Your Kids From Firearm Accidents.
See A Video From CNN on Kids and Guns - http://www.cnn.com/US/9805/21/school.violence.essay/video.html
Child Net - Resources To Help Prevent Violence with Children
http://www.child.net/violence.htm
Obviously, limited to 5 solutions, I could not list everything I would have liked to. As I’m sure the rest of the members of this write-off have covered in their submissions. I urge you to read theirs and see additional ways we can solve this.
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Member: Chris Patton
Location: Baton Rouge Louisiana
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About Me:
i LiKe CHeeSe! =)Well not really, but I do web design and Flash.
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