I'm Just Weak for an Older Guy
Aug 30 '00
Even the ordinary dog has much to teach anyone willing to open heart and soul to canine wisdom. Cochise is a priceless dog, as nearly perfect as they come, and an inspired teacher. He came into my home my 'compromise dog', a dog I (gladly) settled for because what I REALLY wanted wasn't feasible.
I wanted a puppy...a 'baby dog' that would be mine to train and nurture. I wanted the early bonding, the incomparable closeness and loyalty that comes from knowing your dog its entire life without earlier adult bonds to dilute that special love and loyalty.
Our reality was not suited to the needs and demands of a puppy. I work out of town. Toilet training a young pup without the time and attention required is doomed to fail. Pups lack the physical development and control to 'hold it' all day. Beyond physical control, they're immature and less interested in cleanliness (of self and environment) than an adult. Clearly I'd be failing any pup when I couldn't provide this basic training. Taking vacation was a tempting possibility, but I wasn't convinced a young pup would be reliably trained even with a 3 week vacation. Coming home at lunch time isn't possible and my working day is long for even a well trained adult dog.
Deciding to bring an adult dog into the house was the right thing to do though it wasn't my preference. Concerns with adult dogs centered on our need for gentle, tolerant dogs that were unfailingly reliable with children. I love big dogs and prefer medium to giant dogs with young children. Sturdier dogs are less likely to be fearful of tumbling kids, curious fingers, and clumsy handling. While big dogs are often gentler with small children, any aggression displayed is also riskier. I'm a discerning judge of canine character and decided to consider only those dogs I had absolute confidence in.
Cochise was a bad idea from the beginning. The man placing him admitted that he'd become an incorrigible escape problem. Professional changes and the addition of their second son 9 months previously had severely limited the time available. Cochise had been with his family since he was a pup(8-10wks old), a year prior to the birth of the 1st child. He was friendly, gentle, and accustomed to children.
Knowing it was a waste of time, I asked to see this trouble maker, explaining I wasn't interested in taking him but would like to see him 'just because'. A strange request perhaps, but they graciously consented.
On seeing him, I lost my mind. A primal recognition I can't explain fired between us. Cochise and I simply fell into each other, laughing, nuzzling, rolling around on the floor. I loved that dog immediately. It was as strong and basic, as vital as the pulse of blood within me. And he was loving me back. Admittedly, Cochise is a LoveSlut. He loves EVERYONE at least a lot, but this was personal.
Regaining my senses and some vestigial objectivity, I observed Cochise carefully. The older child was three (Cochise was four) and the boy chased and 'pestered' Cochise relentlessly (showing off for company). Pulling his tail up, pushing it down, happily shouting out commands (ignored), peering into his mouth, going nose to nose with him and running with wild whoops of glee. Cochise smiled happily throughout, not so much an interested playmate as an indulgent uncle. He was clearly the adult in his interactions with the boy, a patient and loving adult.
Most impressive were the chase games. This exuberant, vigorous, large dog (medium German Shepherd sized) paced himself to follow at a comfortable distance, never pushing or crowding the child, falling carefully into the pace established by the boy. This was MY dog. Earlier (very sensible) reservations were shoved aside as I hurried to commit to this furry, oversized 'DelinquentDog'.
Thrilled, yes, but I didn't yet appreciate the treasure Cochise is. Upon taking him home, he leaped into my car and never looked back. Proving my reservations fully founded, he promptly unlatched the gate for the 1st of numerous escapes. When not apprehended by animal control or neighbors, it was always our house he returned to. Quickly, lovingly, he fully bonded with my daughter and me.
As he and I 'learned' each other we developed an expanded vocabulary, discovering a strong mutual pleasure in words. He adores being talked to and loves learning new commands he can show off with. The usual obedience commands bore him. I suspect he finds them not only dull but demeaning. Interactive commands that 'partner' the two of us are vastly preferable. He works much better 'with me' than 'for me'. Undoubtedly true of almost everyone, this is essential with fiercely independent souls such as Siberian Huskies.
A natural teacher and enamored of leadership, Cochise cherishes the opportunity to guide those in his pack. Several times he's coaxed daVinci through phobias (once when daV decided he was NEVER going outside again! Not possible for an Irish Wolfhound). Another time he patiently refused my request to open the door. Simba, my daughter's Toy Poodle, was on the other side. Had Cochise obeyed, Simba would have been struck in the head, possibly off the stairs. In an embarrassingly stupid incident, Cochise staunchly refused to take a lengthy strip of beef jerky from me that I was holding between my teeth and coaxing him to accept. After three refusals, all accompanied by stamping feet, he shook his head, gave a great whining moan and simply laid down. It occurred to me I REALLY should listen. He was showing more brains and common sense than I was. Perhaps a taboo against taking food from a human's mouth should be preserved NOT undermined.
The wisdom of this wonderful dog has enriched our home innumerable times. A furry shoulder is available whenever my world trembles. Tired and irritable after a long day, I tell him about it. He listens quietly, offering an occasional kiss.
Devoted and sweet though he is, Cochise doesn't wear his heart on his paw. Returning after a weeks absence, I finally realized the depth of his feelings. DaVinci, the family thespian, had been sighing and moping the entire week. But my sharp eyed niece (who was staying in the house) noticed that as soon as the kibble came out, daVinci was able to toss his heartbreak aside and bolt first his and then Cochise's food. Cochise barely ate. Offering him cooked meat (which he loves), Cochise politely took a piece and laid it down (daVinci promptly claimed it). On my return, daVinci greeted me like an exuberant pup, VERY glad I was home. Cochise came into my arms and stayed there trembling for 15 minutes. My heart nearly broke that he felt so strongly about something and yet had shown none of his feelings other than lack of appetite.
This stoic dog is one of my personal heroes. His contributions haven't been monumental but they've been both authentic and always benevolent. Among the valuable lessons he's imparted was the truth about adult dogs. Bonds as deep and abiding as those with a well loved pup are not only possible but commonplace. This is true even of dogs that have not been abused, mistreated or relegated to the backyard. You lose nothing when deciding for an adult rather than a puppy.
Our local shelters adopt out all the healthy pups they get. Mature dogs are often put down even when they're friendly, house trained and well mannered. Frankly, in this area (Cedar Rapids Iowa), adopting a shelter puppy is not saving its life. There are an abundance of homes desiring pups. If you seriously want to save a dogs life by adopting at a shelter consider an adult dog.
Adult dogs are more loving than pups. Biologically, babies TAKE far more than they GIVE. This is natural. It's an entitlement. Nurturing a pup is enriching, but the complex relationship possible with a mature dog is both deeper and more unique.
Adult dogs are frequently easier. Less prone to chewing, jumping, and general mayhem, they're often more satisfying companions. Puppies are emotionally dependent as well as physically needy. The increased self reliance of adults can make them far easier in a home where the adults work and the children are in school.
For those convinced it must be a puppy, I recommend following your heart IF your home and lifestyle are suited to a 'baby dog'. An older companion dog for the puppy could be considered, but don't adopt a dog you have little enthusiasm for out of a sense of guilt or obligation. Disappointment will ensue, cheating both human and dog.
But if you could welcome an adult canine into your home it could be the 'best compromise' ever! I'm so glad I was forced to consider an adult. I didn't expect to be unhappy with my decision but I never dreamed I'd find a 'fit' so perfect.
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Epinions.com ID:
LaBruja
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Member: Jacinta
Reviews written: 43
Trusted by: 18 members
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