A letter to my daughter
Oct 07 '00
My dearest Teagan, you fill my heart. With every smile and every touch I can feel myself filling up with an all-consuming love and an amazement of your beauty and your abilities. Your hugs make my heart feel like it will explode with overwhelming emotion. To see you walk and to hear your little voice trying oh so hard to form words is a true miracle to me.
Your first attempts at feeding yourself, oh so messy! But oh so wonderful. The first time you held your own bottle, the first time you waved bye bye. These moments are etched indelibly in my mind. I can close my eyes and the freeze frames of these events roll by, like a slide show of love.
My darling, you are the world to me. You fill my days with happiness, no, make that joy. Pure unadulterated joy. With every breath you take I can feel the true miracle of life, and know the true blessings I have been given. You are all the proof I need that God exists, and that He performs miracles every day.
My darling, you can be anything you want to be, and do anything you want to do. There will never be a challenge that you will not be able to meet. You have proven this in just the first 2 years of your life. You are stronger and braver than anyone should ever have to be, and I thank God so much for giving you those traits. They saved your life.
My baby, my love, I give you my heart and soul. I will always be here for you, to hold your hand, to wipe your tears, to give you all the love you ever want and need. I love you forever.
To those of you reading this, I should explain. I went into labor with Teagan at 24 weeks. That’s 16 weeks early. Four months. During labor I was told that she would surely not be born alive. Well, that was the first thing they got wrong. She was less than a pound and a half when she was born. Her eyes were still fused shut. She had to be put on a ventilator. But she was alive! Then I was told that she would surely be either blind, deaf, or both. Wrong again. She has good eyesight and her hearing is fine.
The next prognosis was that she would most likely have brain damage to a large degree. In the words of one nurse “All your children can’t be rocket scientists”. Wrong yet again! She has had no sign of any brain damage at all, she presents herself as a very bright little girl. They are quite certain at this point that she does not have cerebral palsy, which they felt she had a 75% chance of having.
Of course she had a lengthy hospital stay. And, yes, there were some scary moments. But she proved them wrong over and over again. She was released from the hospital when she was 5 months old. She is behind a little developmentally, but that is to be expected for a baby that was born so early. She is catching up daily, and now, as she approaches the age of 2 she is walking, developing her language skills, and building block towers and playing with lego with her siblings.
Teagan has been a lesson to my entire family. She has taught us all to believe, really believe, in our abilities to achieve our dreams. She has given us an even deeper compassion and understanding for those who are disabled, knowing that that person in the wheelchair, or that blind child down the street, could have been Teagan.
I don’t love her any more than I love my other children, but I do love her differently. I am filled with amazement by her, every day in every way. She is a true miracle, and I love her dearly, with all my heart and soul, unconditionally, forever and ever. Amen.
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Member: Beverley
Location: Canada
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About Me:
So good to be home, but so very tired!
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