She Asked For It
Aug 29 '00 (Updated Sep 08 '00)
***WARNING*** I hope my readers will bear with me, as I was unable to find any other appropriate placement for this particular editorial. I feel this is a subject that Epinions forgot, and I write this in the hopes that those people, who this editorial is for, will not be forgotten.
Let's introduce a young woman by the name of "Chloe". She is bright, outgoing and generally, just a good person to be around. Let's also say she is in high school - or she could be college, even. Chloe is that neighbour you wave to on the street, she's your friend's daughter, or - she could be your sister, or even your own daughter.
So, your daughter, Chloe - one day, at any time at all - suddenly stops being the outgoing and generally good person...and is now quiet and removed from the world. Chloe sits in her room more often...and doesn't answer the phone as much...or she becomes violent, or depressed - or reckless with her life. Chloe is no longer the young woman you knew her as, and her attitude has changed without explanation.
Chloe has been raped. Now, she has the chance to be raped all over again, by the public...and by her own self-abusing thoughts....
Rape Stats:
* In 1996, 307,000 women were victims of rape, attempted rape or sexual assault. [National Crime Victimization Survey. Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice, 1997.]
* While overall violent crime rates in 1998 plummeted by 7 percent from the previous year, rape/sexual assaults remained unchanged. [Preliminary National Crime Victimization Survey/NCVS (US Department of Justice) NCVS 1998 Summary]
Victims of rape/sexual assault - even now - don't always report the crime. They feel it's a private matter, or the shame of it being their "fault". Other reasons are because they know their attacker, and fear another attack. This is detrimental to their healing – and it keeps the attacker unknown to the public, endangering others! Moreover, they feel they can’t confide in loved-ones – and loved-ones will sometimes (not as often as before, but it still happens) will be alienated and un-supportive.
Even the most rational people can think the most irrationally when they’ve been raped – believing that they somewhat “asked for it” by what they said, or what they wore, but this is simply not true! It is not their fault they’ve been raped. Rape is not about sex – it’s about power over another person. It’s about taking power away from another – dominating someone. Let me repeat: Rape is not about sex! It can happen to anyone from the very young to the elderly – and it’s not just women who are violated.
Rape Stats:
* About 14 out of 15 sexual assaults are against females; one in 15 is against a male. [Preliminary National Crime Victimization Survey/NCVS (US Department of Justice) NCVS 1998 Summary]
NCVS data states 333,000 rapes/sexual assaults occurred in 1998 to persons 12 and older. Look at that number again…now think of all your friends and neighbours and relatives represented in that number. Makes you sick, doesn’t it? It makes me sick.
Get help! There are many resources online, and in most communities where you can ask for help – anonymously. You are not alone. Those who know rape victims, encourage them to get help and don’t be judgmental, just listen. It takes courage to come forward, but the more people who do it – the more people stand up and take back the power that was taken from them, the more others can find strength in that. More people will realise that we’re not going to be silent about this any more.
If anyone would like to talk to me about this – for more information, or just to talk – please Email me:
themoosekitten@yahoo.com
I’m no professional by any means, but I’m a pretty good listener. Thanks for reading, everyone.
RAINN: Rape Abuse Incest National Network
1-800-656-HOPE
http://www.rainn.org
24-hour confidential rape hotline
Welcome to Barbados
http://wwwdot.net/barbados
This site is made for survivors, by survivors. There are stories and poetry, some (non-professional) suggestions for feeling better, resources to help, important information all people should know about. It's a very intelligent site. Don't spend one more minute feeling that it's your fault, because it isn't. Call R.A.I.N.N. (it's toll free and you do not have to give your name or any information you don't feel comfortable with) and visit the Barbados site and realise that you aren't alone. There are others out there.
Light in the Dark
http://www.egroups.com/group/lightinthedark
Ripple Back To Me
http://www.egroups.com/group/ripplebacktome
Both are non-professional mailing lists for rape/sexual assault survivors. The last time I was on “Ripple Back To Me”, I knew of a few rape-crisis counselors who frequented that mailing-list and the lists are moderated so no random Emails wander into the mailboxes.
**In addition** [added 1 Sep '00] I want to thank you, the reader, for viewing this editorial. By reading this, regardless if you are a member of Epinions.com or not, you have just donated $.03 to RAINN. (All money earned from viewing this editorial is being donated to RAINN.)
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Epinions.com ID:
sibhreach
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Location: Portland, OR, USA
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About Me:
You can't take the sky from me...just my Fruity Oaty Bar.
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