Vast Differences
Mar 05 '00
To explore the topic of gifted children, I must first revisit my own experience. An IQ test when I was four revealed a substantial number on the Stanford Binet scale. When I was six, I had chicken pox and pneumonia at the same time. After running a high fever for more than a week, the doctors told my parents that I would likely be brain damaged. This distressed my mother who had delighted in having a bright child. In second grade, I became somewhat disruptive in class and the teacher sent home a note that perhaps I should be referred to special education. Certainly my mother's worst nightmare come true.
Then something happened that likely has had a dramatic impact on the rest of my life.
A sixth grade teacher at my school had attended a summer seminar. One of the topics dealt with children who were disruptive. It was suggested in this seminar that sometimes these disruptive children were bored. She offered me the reader from her class and asked me if I could read it. I could easily read it. I remember asking her if there was more where that came from that I was sick of the stupid stuff that we had in second grade. My mother was thrilled, my teacher was astonished, but she worked with me. She made an arrangement with the librarian that I be allowed to check out as many books as I wanted and that I was not to be limited to the "young" shelves. I was a model student the rest of the year.
If not for that sixth grade teacher, I could have been "labelled" and relegated to special education classes from then on. As it was, the jump I got on reading that one year put me so far ahead that I blew out achievement tests from then on. In sixth grade I was off the scales that my school district could test, but they estimated that I was reading on a college sophomore level.
As a gifted student, I was not surprised to find that my own children are gifted. ALL of them to different degrees and in such different ways. Dealing with these differences is a challenge to say the least. What works to motivate one child can have a negative effect on the next one. One thing that has been consistent is the availability of books in our home. We have truly thousands of books, and the children are never without a wide variety of subject matter to read.
When my oldest was small, I got books on improving my child's brain power and intelligence. She was such a delight. It was apparent that she was a bright kid. I'm certain that I could have pushed her and made quite a trick pony out of her. I made the decision to let her be a child. She did well in school and often came out with some really profound statements. She is 18 now and is bright, articulate, funny and talented. She has a grasp for music and music theory that astounds me. This is an area that I could not have helped her in. I'm glad that she's found her own path. She's not always been the best student, but that is the result of her specific areas of interest.
My next daughter was kind of grumpy as a toddler. I had no real expectations of her as her older sister was so bright. I didn't want to put pressure on her. She was opinionated and often difficult. I did what I could to keep her from making the rest of us miserable. After she started school the teachers started calling me to exclaim about how bright she was. On her first two achievement tests she didn't miss a single question. I was really astounded. I didn't expect to have two such bright children. Little did I know what I was in for with this one. She remembers everything she reads. She processes this information in a meaningful way. She reads CONSTANTLY. In seventh grade, this one received national recognition for her SAT scores by the Duke University Talent Identification program. She's been hearing from colleges ever since. She's a sophomore now and I just paid for her to take the SAT for the fourth time. She informed me that she would break 1500 this time. (We'll see!) She has so many talents that just stun me. Her teachers fully expect her to qualify as a National Merit Scholar.
My youngest daughter is a talented musician and writer. She has been writing as long as I can remember. She's not too sociable with US but she is a total social butterfly with her friends. Keeping her off the phone is a nightmare, but that's also the best leverage for keeping her on track. She's consistently a good student with good study habits and a hard work ethic. She is the most tenacious individual I've ever met. She doesn't hear "no", she hears "maybe tomorrow." Of all my children, I have no doubt that this one will achieve tremendous success in what ever she chooses to do.
My son and youngest child is a challenge all the way around. He is another scarily bright kid like his middle sister. He hates to read. He loves the social aspect of school, but he has trouble following the rules. He's off the scales on the achievement tests, but could care less about turning in his homework. School does not motivate him. It does not challenge him much either. It is not so hard to push the right buttons on this child, but I've found the teachers unwilling to do a few simple things that would make THEIR lives easier. I spend a lot of time talking to this one. He has such a deep understanding of so much. I hope that we can find ways to help him apply this understanding academically.
Having them all under the same roof can be a circus at times. They all have such strong personalities. Because of my own experience, I understand much of what they each have to deal with. I try very hard to listen to all of them (not at the same time if I can help it!) and to help them discuss and process what they learn and what they want to know. I have a tremendous love of learning and I'm grateful that I share this with all of my children. I never know what kind of conversation will come up. On our commute to school in the last week, we've discussed fractal geometry, cloning the wooly mammoth, exchange students from Australia and how their laws and customs differ from ours and more. I allow my children to ask me anything. If I don't know, I'm willing to do what it takes to find an answer for them. If a subject is inappropriate, I tell them that it is a subject that is inappropriate or perhaps too mature for the present.
I've tried to challenge my children all their lives. They continue to challenge me, and I'm better for the experience. I hope that they will continue with their love for learning and I hope that they all will have to learn to deal with gifted children of their own.
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Epinions.com ID:
abhaille
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Location: Republic of Texas
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About Me:
I've learned that the hardest to love are likely those that need love the most.
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