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An (adult) child's view of divorce (updated 9/2/2000)

Aug 28, 2000 (Updated Sep 2, 2000) Write an essay on this topic.

I'm now a happily married man (for 3 years now), but I'm also the child of divorced parents. This was something that affected me greatly in my teens, and will always be part of my life.

My parents were married for 21 years when they finally called it quits. Things hadn't been good for quite some time, but they tried. Finally when I was a senior in high school, mom and dad split up.

This was incredibly hard for me. I have a kid brother who is 9 1/2 years younger than me and I really had to keep it together for him. We helped each other out, and continue to do so.

The one thing I would ask if you are going through a divorce and have children: Don't use the children as a weapon. Remember to support the kids, and please remember that your ex-spouse is still the children's other parent. Encourage your children to keep in touch with your ex-spouse (this will be hard!), and be understanding when your kids want to spend time with your ex.

My parents have been divorced for almost 10 years now. They are both remarried (so I have step parents and step siblings) and my parents are happier than I have ever seen them. It's great to see them happy again and I believe their second marriages will last a long time.

My marriage is wonderful. I'm married to the perfect woman and we do everything together (except when I'm at work). I was a little nervous because of what happened to my parents, but life is wonderful!

I know that my parent's are happier now than I have seen them in years. However, I also know that I will never be the same because of what I experience in their divorce. It helps to have supportive family, supportive friends, and of course my wife who is wonderful. If you have been through a divorce, or know someone who has, you understand the value of a good support network.

For more reading on this subject, there is an excellent article on how adult children are affected by divorce in the September 4, 2000, edition of Newsweek. It is a "My Turn" column written by Holly Hubbard Preston (see page 11).

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