Are You a 'REAL' Daddy?
Apr 07 '00
What does it take to be a daddy? It has often been said that anyone can father a child, but it takes someone special to be a dad. This is so true. Especially in todays society of unrest and insecurity, kids need a dad, and not just a father.
I have compiled a list of needs a child has from their father. This list is certainly not exhaustive, and some will dispute the validity of some of the entries, but, here they are.
1) Communication - a child needs to bond with daddy through dad initiating conversations with and entering listening to the child. Communicating with your child gives him or her a sense of importance and acceptance. Allowing your child to share ideas with you causes them to sense value that is so important in their development. A dad should take 30 minutes, minimum, every day talking to his child(ren). It needs to be more than 'How was your day?' and hardly hearing the answer. It has to be a dedicated time where all else is shut out and it's just you and your son or daughter.
2) Activities - I recently discovered the joy of playing basketball with my 12 year old. WHAT TOOK ME SO LONG??? In the past week our relationship has been stronger than ever. We share more with each other, he is more anxious to help around the house, and I get the biggest hugs ever from him. Dad's spend time with your kids doing things together.
3) Example - A child needs to see dad as the example of how a man should be. Even daughters need to see dad role model what they should be looking for in a husband in future years. Dads need to be upright in all their ways. They should daily express their love for their spouse in plain sight of their children. They should be law biding and honest. Everything they do should be an example of how to be a successful person. Honest in their finances, fidelity, and friendships dads mold the lives of their children without even saying a word.
4) Leadership - It seems that many dad's have traded off leadership for friendship to their children. Though friendship is important, the far more important role for a dad is to lead his children. Through the years children will see friends come and go and if dad is understood as just another friend the respect required to shape the life of a young person will be non-existant. Being firm yet fair in discipline, consistent in rules, and no-nonsense in the carrying out of household policies is dad's responsibility and should not be avoided. Sure, from time to time this will cause temporary friction in the relationship, but, in the end, it will develop a son or daughter who has the utmost respect and admiration for the man they now call dad.
5) Support - Financial, verbal, emotional. Let your child know that you are there for them. Be willing to stand up for them when they are right or are being wronged. Even in those times when they are receiving the just reward for inappropriate behavior they need to know that you are still there for them. Not to down play the discipline, but to know that you still believe in them.
That's my list. Hope it helps.
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Epinions.com ID:
scott_howell
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Member: Scott Howell
Location: Baltimore, MD (by way of West Virginia
Reviews written: 81
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