Adoption doesn't have to be painful on you or the baby
Apr 21 '00 (Updated Sep 03 '00)
I never went through adoption personally, but I had a friend who went through it with her daughter. Here is her story.
We meet when she moved from Tennessee to Temperance, Michigan in 1991. We were both sophomores in High School. She got pregnant before her family moved. Her boyfriend was back in Tennessee (the father), which they eventually grew apart from not seeing each other in months.
We were in the same English class together when we meet. Our English teacher was trying to get pregnant and telling all of us how she wanted a lot of babies of her own soon. It was in December 1991 when our teacher announced she was now pregnant with twins and very scared. My friend Dawn then leaned over and said I need to talk to you after class. Thinking it was just our regular talks of boys, music, gossip around school or the mall, I though nothing more of it. When we were walking to the lunch room for lunch she told me, "You are the only one I have told since I started school here in September so please do not say anything". She then revealed she was 5 months pregnant and putting her daughter up for adoption. I was shocked, not about the adoption, but she did not look pregnant at all. It was after she told me she started showing.
Her parents said it was her choice in what she wanted to do with her daughter, to keep her baby or put her up for adoption. Her boyfriend said it was her choice as well, even though he wanted her to raise the baby and he would move to Michigan to help her if he had to. But she decided it was for the best for her baby to give her to a family who could not have kids of there own. Dawn was also only 15 years old and scared. She wanted to do what was best for her daughter, and that was giving her a family that would love, cherish and take care of her
Through the next few months she told me about her pregnancy, her doctors appointments, ultrasounds, how she wish she were older so she could keep her. She knew giving her up was the best for her at such a young age. When my teacher asked me if we should have a baby shower for her, I could not think what to say since she was putting her up for adoption. I eventually told her I would ask her since she was putting her up for adoption she might not want a shower.
I had so many people come up to me asking how she was so careless at her age to get pregnant. How would she take care of a baby when she is a baby herself. I told them it is none of there business and she has family and friends who will help her, I never told them she is putting baby up for adoption. Not my business to tell them and none of theirs to judge what she does.
Her daughter was born May 15, 1992, Dawn named her daughter Emily. She sees her a lot and gets pictures monthly. The adoptive parents even let the father see Emily when he wants. They have always been their for her during her pregnancy and after. Went to doctors with her and the paid bills for her that were not covered by the state. It has been a few years since I talked to Dawn, last I knew she still sees her daughter 4 or 5 times a month.
Dawn choose open adoption , and she could pick who she wanted to adopt her unborn daughter. She had it narrowed down to two couples, both who she saw each weekend to get to know them and decide. After a few months she choose the young couple who had tried for 7 years to have kids and could not conceive. The other couple had two adoptive kids already. I met the couple a few times after the adoption, when they had Dawn come over for birthday parties, and holidays going with her for support.
Adoption is a very good thing to do for your baby. Their are so many couples who are willing to give your babies good loving homes. So many can not have there own and want so desperately to have one. Waiting periods can be up to 6 years or more. I hope you make a decision to adopt or put up for adoption if pregnant. There are many couples willing to send you pictures and see your little ones if that is what you want. If not once that child is 18 they have the right to look for you and you for them. But always be careful some may hate you for it and want nothing to do with you. Others will greet you with open arms and want you in their lives.
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Member: Jennifer
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