That's Why I Had You!
Sep 09 '00
Please get me a pair of scissors! I shout from the dining room where I'm wrapping a present. My fifth child comes quickly, always ready to do my bidding, scissors, held correctly point down, in hand. Soon after, I call again, I need some more scotch tape! and my youngest, the sixth, arrives with a new roll. Emboldened with his young age he inquires (more out of curiosity than rebellion), Why can't you get it yourself, mamma? My answer is the same it's been through all six children, partly facetious, partly correct: That's why I had YOU -- to bring me things.
Aww, mamma, that's not true, is it? and I respond Of course it is. And it is.
I had my first child, an adult of 27 now, to bring me the joy of first-time motherhood, that indescribable euphoric state that lasts for years --until the next child is born.
He is now a philosopher, forging new opinions like he forged the way for his new-to-the-job-mother.
Everything is a first with your first. You find out what birth feels like -- something you must experience firsthand to understand. Breastfeeding, another indefinable pleasure, helps form the bonds that will unite you forever. Having only one child to devote yourself to is a luxury you will never have again. Living inside that untouchable cocoon of mother and baby you learn what real love is all about.
I had my second child to bring me the knowledge that every baby is different. Having gotten the mothering down pat, I thought my daughter, now 24, would be a cookie cutter of her brother. She was, unexpectedly, the easiest baby in the world, especially in contrast to her high-need sibling.
She is now a woman of varied accomplishments, from scuba diving to tree planting, brilliant in math as well as household organization.
Why did I have my third child? To bring me balance. It's easy to balance the needs of two. There's one for each hand (for walking together anywhere), one for each knee (when you're reading a story), one for each breast (for tandem nursers like I was), one for each parent (to carry out to the car when they both fall asleep at the show).
My second daughter, now 22 and an artist with a wry sense of humour (she needed it growing up in this family!), made three.
I carried her on my back and still had a hand for each of the others. You learn how to balance three so they each feel as important as if they were the only one. With three, you hone new parenting skills. They're not all babies anymore, either, and you really start to earn your titles of mother and father.
And the fourth? Why did I have him? Because now we were hooked on the joy of having babies. He would bring us more of the pleasure for which the first three had paved the way. Ecstasy in our family was attained by having more children. My own desire to be a new mother (again!) grew greater with the birth of each new child.
He who helped us reach the state of Nirvana is now 20 years old and the perfect representative for his claim to fame. He is even-tempered and easy-going, a young man who never raises his voice and is well-liked and respected by his peers as well as his elders.
I had the fifth, our 14-year-old daughter, to bring me reminders that we can strive to be even more moral. She is a ballerina and she is a strong Christian, as well as a delightfully polite young lady. Bringing us finesse and an unerring instinct for ethical behaviour, she is often the role-model for us all to emulate.
Our fun-loving 10-year-old son with the never-ending questions -- the one who wondered if it could be true that I had him so he could bring me things -- I had in order to bring me everlasting youth and wisdom. He is the asker of all, the first of our children to be so inquisitive. I wish I had kept a journal of his fascinating queries to give to him when he reaches adulthood. He's an idea-a-minute playmate who is best friends with his sister.
My 6 kids engender some maternal conceit. I indeed glory in having brought such fine people into the world. Over the decades, folks have told me I'm crazy, selfish or spoiled, adding children to our small home seemingly without forethought; admirers have called me brave, self-sacrificing or big-hearted.
I say, yes, you're right, to all, and am proud to confess I earned each of these attributes one child at a time.
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Epinions.com ID:
NurturingFirst
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Member: Marga Raudsepp
Location: Trenton, Ontario
Reviews written: 9
Trusted by: 4 members
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