Effective Displine for Older Kids
May 10, 2000
I have come across a very effective form of discipline since my two children have left the little kid stage. They are now 9 1/2 and 8 1/2. They used to get spankings and privledges like TV taken away. For one reason or another, that quit working so we had to come up with something else. We tried the grounding and that didn't work either. They just didn't care. When I was a kid I remember grounding being just awful. Why it wouldn't work for us I don't know.
Here is what works for our family, and may or may not work for you. When my two older kids do something wrong, they will immediately get a very tough chore. And very often it is a chore that doesn't even need to be done; something that is just no fun to do and boring.
For example, moping the basement floor with a washcloth. I have given this one to my oldest two times. Along with two other things he has never had to be given a chore again and we have been doing this for about 6 months. Another example would be to have them take all the dishes out of the cupboards and wash them, even though they are already clean. Then put them away again. Or, moving rocks from one rock pile to another. No reason for this to be done, it is just a form of discipline. I read once in a book (and this started the idea for me) about a father in the Little House On The Priare days making his son pound nails into a log, hundreds of them, and then pull each one back out and straighten them. This not only was a punishment but also a way for the child to work out his agressions that probably got him in trouble in the first place. I still may try this one yet!
I really don't have much trouble with these two any more. I only have to remind them what their punishment will be and they quickly straigten up. There is no need for spankings or groundings, which are hard to keep up with , at least for me. I used to ground them and then a day later forget I did and let them go do something. This really works for us.
I do have a younger child that is really not old enough to understand this form of discipline and still gets spankings or privledges removed. It really depends on the child and you have to take that into consideration. And again, this is my opinion and not for every family. To each his own is my families favorite saying!