Finding Balance In DisciplineSep 17, 2000 Write an essay on this topic.
Most of you I know have heard the expression "Let the punishment fit the crime". Not only do I believe that this is a good rule of thumb for criminals but it also works well for discipline.
All too often I have met parents that tend towards one extreme or the other. Either they use spankings for every infraction or they use only time outs and the such for even the most serious offenses. Here are a couple of examples of people I know.
An adult I knew years ago was very strict with his kids. No matter what they did, a spanking or worse would be the result. An example of this would be an incident that happened when his daughter was about 8 years old. She was playing in the bath tub one evening during bath time and got some water on the floor. When she got out of the tub and was drying off she slipped on the water and her foot went partially under the door scraping it badly. This man came into the bathroom and noticed the water on the floor. Instead of tending to the then bleeding child he ordered her into the bedroom where he got out the belt and started spanking her for getting water on the floor.
This was in no way a spanking offense! The child was hurt and that should have been the main concern. Furthermore, since the child got hurt because of getting water on the floor she taught herself her own lesson. She did not need another physical punishment to learn her lesson.
A woman I knew had two daughters aged 9 and 3. One day while playing outside the older daughter thought it was a funny thing to push her sister out into the street in front of the house. The younger one went in and told her mother what her sister was doing and the mother just told the older one to stop, that it was dangerous.
She stopped for a while then as a car was coming down the road did it again. This time her sister was hit by the car. Luckily the car was not going that fast and she only received a few bruises and one broken arm.
The older child was only told to go to her room and think about what she had done for a few hours then let out to go play.
You have got to be kidding me?!?! Pushing her sister, ignoring the warning from mom, causing her sister to be hit by a car...The punishment did NOT fit the crime! If not a spanking, she should have been grounded, had priviliges taken away and been made to help her sister do anything that she couldn't because of the broken arm. The older one having to do all her sister's chores for the next month would have been good too.
Parents need to lay down guidelines for the kids. Kids that have no set consequenses do not learn how to be responsible. Discipline is not to control kids, it is to teach them right from wrong and how to make good decisions. If there is not responsible discipline in the household the kids will not learn how to be responsible adults.
It is our job as parents to teach and guide our children. It is part of being a parent. Parents need to create rules and responsibilities in regards to the kids and expect them to be followed. You can be flexible when it is necessary but don't let the kids run the house. Remember, you are the parents, not the other way around.
If the standing punishment for breaking curfew is one week grounding, be consistent. If you waiver on the consequenses then children will not respect you nor will they learn that breaking the rules has definite consequenses.
Too many times these days I have seen households where the kids rule the roost. Parents are afraid to discipline in fear of retaliation from the children. This is why so many kids grow up not knowing right from wrong and running wild.
Kids may not like following rules but the do need them. It may take years for them to realize that what you did by not letting them run wild was for their own good but eventually they will realize that what you did helped them become responsible adults. Whether you chose to use grounding, time outs, taking away privlages or the occasional spanking it is our responsibility, not the teachers, government or other members of the community, to teach our children right from wrong.
I will probably catch a lot of slack about this editorial from parents on the non-spanking side of the fence but this is how I feel. I'm not saying that physical punishment should be the only form of discipline. My daughter has only been spanked maybe 3 times in her life but they were for serious offenses.
I personally always started with a time out on most things. If that didn't work, she would be sent to her room, grounded or have toys or privilages taken away. I used spanking as a last resort if nothing else worked to quash the behavior. I didn't have to use it often but I would if it were necessary.
By the way, I was that child in the first example and it was my step-father who used that kind of discipline. It would have been very easy for me to become the mother in the second example(another family member). I chose to find a happy medium instead of being totally opposite of him because even though he was extreme with it, I still believe that an occasional spanking, not beating, is acceptable.
Of course this is just my opinion. Comments are welcome.
|Read all comments (3)|Write your own comment|
Ads by Google
Disciplining Your Child Effective Home Discipline Program For Parents. Get The Program Free!
Disciplining your children Help Need Advice? Prayer? We're here for you with Free support-Reach us now!