Separation saved my Daddy's life
May 02 '00
I thought I had the perfect family when I was growing up. Boy was I WRONG!
Granted, my parents have only fought in front of me once. But there was so much other tension that I thought was normal.
When I was in high school I started really disliking my father. I finally figured out why one day when I realized that my father was drinking beer all day long at work (he owns his own one man business, so he can get away with that), and then coming home and drinking wine until he passed out on the couch around 8:30pm. I thought this was normal!
The drinking was one of the major reasons that my parents marriage failed. My parents got separated when I was 19. And, now, two years later, they still aren't divorced.
But I want to concentrate on my father's alcoholism. He was a very sick man. On his 47th birthday, he was in the ER all day long and was diagnosed with pancreatitis. Well, for about two weeks, he didn't drink. Then he returned to his all day drinking binges. He was slowly killing himself, and I couldn't bear to watch.
My grades fell at school, I became depressed, I never wanted to be home. My mother understood, and let me do what I wanted to, with limitations. On the other end of the spectrum, my father put the fear of God in me. He was a very mentally abusive man, and I always felt like I was a nobody and that I was always letting him down. It took years, but I finally realized it was his disease talking, and not my father.
Finally, my mother and I had enough. On the fateful Sunday afternoon, I was conveniently visiting a friend after church. My mother calmly but emotionally told him to leave. The last thing he said to her was, "Tell Beth I love her very much." I was so worried that my dad was going to get himself so drunk that night that he would get himself hurt. Boy, I underestimated my daddy.
My father realized that he needed help because of his alcoholism. From the day he got kicked out, he stopped drinking cold turkey. He did an out-patient program, and a few weeks after their separation he had "Family Week." My mother and I reluctantly attended.
It was the best week of my life. That week, I realized that my father loves himself and me enough to give up something that had been his crutch for over 20 years. That week my father apologized for everything he had ever done to hurt me; he apologized for not being in my life; apologized for missing his little girl grow up because he was always passed out drunk. That week, not only did I meet my daddy for the first time really sober, but I found out what a great man he can be.
I tell my father everything now. He is my best friend. And I truly believe that none of this would have happened if my mother had not gotten the courage up to finally tell him that she's not in love with him anymore.
And thank the Good Lord, they have remained friends through all of this, too. Every once in a while I have to tell them to quit putting me in the middle, but it's not as bad as it could have been since I am 21 years old.
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BirdieEBL
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Member: Beth
Location: Bon Aqua, TN
Reviews written: 71
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