Give up the preconceived notions!!!
Mar 08 '00
I think the worst thing I did for my labor and delivery experiences was going into the whole thing confident I would be cool, calm, and collected.
Being the thorough person that I am, during my pregnancies I read TONS of books on natural childbirth and how to "control" the pain. Oh yeah, all the nonsense about how it only hurts if you panic and tense up. Mmm... yeah right.
It's been 5 years since my last child and I still hold a grudge against women who tell me they had no pain during labor.
Labor, to me, was the single most excruciating thing I've ever experienced. I'm afraid a change in my breathing was NOT going to alleviate or even lessen the severity of my suffering.
Listen, a shot of morphine had zero effect on me. Get it? For some, labor hurts.
Now, the point of my writing this is not to whine and moan about how much pain I was in, but rather to say don't do what I did in this one regard...
Don't berate yourself if you end up asking for pain-killing drugs (an epidural is MY recommendation).
That was the thing that slayed me, but I didn't realize until afterward. You see, all the books I read and all the people I'd talked to beforehand... they all set me up to feel like a failure if I had to have medical intervention in my labor and delivery experience.
Goodness I'm glad I didn't opt to try for natural childbirth at home. Both of my labors and deliveries were full of medical complications, some minor, others moderate and bordering on severe. I hate to think what would have happened had I not been in a hospital.
I don't begrudge the women who can go through the beautiful birthing process ala carte.
What I hate to see, though, is the expectation. The emphasis on there being one RIGHT way to do it. "Don't cop out!" is the implication in most books on "pain-free childbirth".
Look, I did everything the books said: I took Lamaze classes, I practiced yoga, I practiced sitting in a squatting position every day, I practiced meditation, and everything else I was advised to do.
So even though the pain was excruciating, I almost feel like the worst part was being a new mother and feeling as though right off the bat I let my baby down. I didn't do all I could to give him the perfect start. I copped out.
Not true! Don't believe it for a second.
I could have saved myself a lot of heartache, self-doubt, and self-criticism if I'd felt then the way I feel now.
I did the best I could under the circumstances. Hopefully, that's all that will ever be required.
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Epinions.com ID:
Lighthouse
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Location: Oakland, CA
Reviews written: 65
Trusted by: 51 members
About Me:
Jewelry designer, author, researcher, multi-media artist, photographer, journalist, musician
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