So, you wanna be a stepmom? Tips from a troubled stepdaughterMar 30 '00 Write an essay on this topic.So, you've met a man who's really neat, but he's got 3 kids who aren't so sweet? Well, far be it from me to reinforce a stereotype,but my experience with my stepmother hasn't done much to dispute it. We started out all right. I admired her off the bat, but things went south. Now we don't even talk anymore.... and that shouldn't have happened. So, here's some rules for being a stepmother, from the perspective of a stepdaughter...hope you can use them... because there is nothing worse than feeling hated in your own home. 1.If you must insist upon being seen as a parental influence in your stepdaughter's life, then embrace all that parenting is. Don't think you can get away with telling her how horrible she is and how destined for failure she is without providing support as well. She'll just tell you to go to hell, and look for love somewhere else. 2. Be open minded. Don't discredit her just because she's a teenager and your stepdaughter. If you always insist that she's a liar and a delinquent, eventually she won't even bother lying to you anymore. After all if she's not gonna be taken seriously, then why should she even try to talk to you anymore? 3. Be reasonable. So her mother didn't teach her to put a pop tart in a ziploc bag. Don't use something as trivial as that to tell her how she's going to end up on welfare with no education and no money. Scare tactics may work in religion, but they're ridiculous in a family. If you blow things out of proportion all the time, you can bet your "secretive" stepdaughter will heighten her demands for privacy. My stepmother misconstrued everything, and now I can't be in the same room with her because I'm almost positive she's gleaning information from all my activities( you know, boil water, stir in sugar and milk, let tea steep...all the criminal exploits.) to use against me. Am I paranoid? It's not paranoia if your suspicions are real. 4. Never badmouth your stepdaughter's mother. If you want to be hated, this is a great way to ask for it. 5. Don't just assume that your stepdaughter is going to hate you. If you treat her with respect and practice what you preach she may learn to like you. If you treat her like an enemy from the getgo, she's gonna treat you the same. 6. Always keep the lines of communication open. If you fight, don't close off from her because it's counterproductive, one, and second if you want to live in a peaceful family you're gonna have to learn to get along even if you don't alway ssee eye to eye. 7. Don't pit your husband against your stepdaughter. It's cruel, it's selfish, and it's just plain stupid. 8. If you have kids with your stepdaughter's father don't demand that your stepkids remain separated from your kids. Your kids didn't do anything to deserve the hatred you're trying to instill in them. Hope this helps..... Because fighting is not worth it in the long run.  |
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