My Three Sons
Apr 06 '00
I once heard a counselor say that trying to hold a rational conversation with a teenager was like trying to speak with someone who had lost their mind. While this statement was meant as a joke, and certainly not as a disparagement against teens, in some ways it rings true. They have their own rationale for everything they do.
I have had three teenage boys and I love them more than life itself. Yet there were times when I wondered if we were going to make it through that trying stage where rebellion rears its ugly head. Although it is a normal part of a teen’s development, it can sometimes cause a strain on family relationships. I would say it most often happens between the ages of thirteen and sixteen, and if you’re lucky by seventeen it’s on its way out.
I told my boys from the time they were little that they could always tell me anything and though I might not agree with them, I would always be willing to listen. Sometimes teens just need a sounding board where they can work out their problems themselves. But there are times when a parent’s input is necessary. It is a little like what I would imagine walking a tight rope would be. You allow them to do too much and they will get into trouble, you go too far the other way and they are going to resent you. You taught them values and morals and you just have to exercise faith that they listened.
But there are times when you can’t sit back and allow your teens to make choices without guidance. For example drugs, you can’t rely on a one-time conversation to be enough. Not with everything they are subjected too nowadays. If you see signs of drugs, or if your teen is showing symptoms of drug abuse, step in right then. The first experience only explanation does not get it. I know from experience. If you live in an area of gang activity, such as we do, then keep a close eye on your kids. There choice of colors, their manner of dress, and often their manner of speech will change. I have had to go into some pretty rough places out of concern for two of my sons. Another subject parents have a hard time talking to their teens about is sex. Listen, if you don’t talk to them about it somebody else will and it may not be what you want them to hear. I taught my boys that men were just as responsible as women for having babies. And that you don’t have indiscriminate sex. I also told them about the danger of STDs in today’s society. No matter what our views we must forewarn our young people about the danger of unprotected sex. The consequences of refusing to do so could be deadly.
Of my three sons, my oldest and my youngest gave me the hardest time. I was surprised when my middle son gave me no trouble at all. Each of them is special in their own unique way and I love them with all my heart. God has been good to me as far as my children are concerned. They are safe and well and doing fine. When you get right down to it, that is all any mother really wants.
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