Computer Geek Crafts
Aug 28 '00
Back in high school, I was, what is commonly called a “nerd.” You know the type: plays with computers, build useless things, didn’t own the "in" cloths, etc. Somewhere after my freshman year in college, my appellation changed. I was no longer a nerd. I became a geek. What is the difference? Douglas Coupland said it best, "Geek implies earning potential." All those things my peers looked down out during high school, suddenly became sought after. As a geek, it became my new job to express my geek-hood. Randomly, my fellow geeks and I would drop everything and see who had the most "geek toys" on them (two way pagers, palm tops, colored phones, etc. With the proliferation of electronics, suddenly, everyone was being geeky. Let’s face it folks, geek is in. With the new focus on being geeks, I unveil: Geek Arts and Crafts.
A word: Much of what I write it tongue in check, however, these are real projects, which I have actually made at one point or another. People might argue that since they require tools, they are not suitable for children. I disagree. I think children of all ages should use tools. My first word was actually screwdriver. When I was 18 months old, I took apart my bed. At 2, I built my sandbox (Dad cut the wood). By 5 years, I was soldering circuits. All this was under adult supervision of course, but I was doing it. Don’t be afraid to let your kids use tools. They aren’t going to hurt themselves. I think that most kids are capable of completing these projects. As for supplies, you will only need to buy common every day things. The really good stuff, you'll have to find in your own home. As a note to any Geeks reading this, now is the time to use that third IDE controller you kept under your bed, "Just in Case". So, with that, in the words of the Beastie Boys Let’s get "Crafty!"
Coasters
I thought I would start easy. Most of you who have geek tendencies have already done this one. You just haven’t made it permanent. Find a few old CD-ROM’s in your house. Trace the outline of the CD and the center hole onto some felt (I get mine from my neighbor’s pool table when he isn’t looking). Show some trust and give your little one the sharp scissors (he’ll do a better job than you anyway) and have them cut out the felt circle. The center hole can be a bit tricky. It is ok if you stray from the lines, since the felt is going to be under the CD. Smear on some rubber cement (or use the aerosol kind if you have it). Put the felt on the under (data) side of the CD-ROM and let dry. 6 CD’s make six coasters (enough for a party). Simple.
A word of advice on CD-ROM choice: Your fellow geeks are going to evaluate you based on how "cool" your CD-ROMs are. Music CDs are a big "no." Music CD coasters make you look like you have no taste and were dumb enough to buy that "hit" song when it was "in" ("I think were alone now..."). You need CD-ROM’s that make you look more geeky than your friends (women will notice, so choose carefully). A better choice would be Windows 3.0. It says old school, but is still available if you look. Really good choices: Windows NT 3.5.1, SQL 7 server, Microsoft Development Tools, and if you can find it (I’m not sure it was ever on CD), Windows 286. Redhat and Corel Linux make you look like a wannabee geek...if you were a true Linux geek, you wouldn’t have the Linux CDs...you would have compiled it on your own.
I will break with my no music CDs rule for one set of albums. If you are willing to sacrifice the six "new" releases of Star Wars soundtracks, you will have coasters that any geek would envy. Not only are they Star Wars, the hologram labels of the discs are beautiful. If you haven’t seen the discs, buy them! They are worth it.
I know that was pretty easy, but in the words of LL Cool J, "I’m just Gittin’ Warm!"
Fish Tank
You need to find a Mac Plus or SE to do this properly. I’ve seen a Classic work, but the rounded styling can get in the way. The SE is the easiest, since it has the largest body.
You need to gut the computer. To open a Mac Plus, insert a long Philips head into the holes in the top back and remove the screws from each side. Take out any other screws you see, but those two are key. Insert a thin, rigid piece of metal into the top groove between the front and back of the case and pry the two halves apart. Apple used to sell a device called a “Case Breaker” just for this purpose. If you can find one, more power to you. Once open, pull the two halves apart. Make sure the screen is supported. Have your kid sever any cords that span the two sides. Once the two halve are apart, let the kid go to town. With screwdrivers, wire cutters and anything else, remove everything from the inside. Do take care not to break the CRT. Dispose of everything properly.
Note: 1) This step should be preformed in the shower, with the computer turned on, while running your hairdryer. If you really do that, may I also suggest French kissing a light socket. 2) CRT’s make a very satisfying pop when they are dropped. It really is a lot of fun. They also contain hazardous chemicals, so if you do do it, be safe. Also, don’t let the kids see you pop the CRT, or say goodbye to your monitor and TV.
Once the Mac is gutted, you need to cut out the bottom. I’ll leave you to your own devices, but I recommend a hacksaw or a reciprocating saw with very fine teeth. Also, you need to remove any mounting brackets or protruding plastic that may be on the inside of the case. You should be left with a Mac case that looks like sleeve.
Take this sleeve to the pet store and buy a tank that the sleeve fits over. You want the top of the tank to touch the top of the sleeve without the lip showing through the hole in the case where the screen used to live. Don’t worry about the tank light yet. Be prepared to buy a shorter tank and shim it to the proper height. Buy the light and other stuff too. Wait until the tank is finished to actually get the fish.
Trace the light on the top of the case and cut a hole for it. If you’ve done everything right, the tank should fit in the sleeve and the light should be sticking out the top. When you look at what used to be the Mac’s screen, you only see tank glass. If you were really good, then you can feed your fish without removing the sleeve…if not, cut another whole. Now you can go buy fish for your tank...on the way home you should stop for sushi.
Clocks
"Time flies," when you’re geeking out. What better way to keep track than with a geek clock? Clocks the single easiest, yet geekiest way to show your geekhood. At the craft store, you can buy clock motors for about five bucks. Get a bunch (and some AA batteries). Also get a few replacement sets of hands. On your way home, stop at the hardware store and get several brass washers with various outer diameters. The center of these washers should comfortably fit the clock motor's center post. You may also want to get a few nuts that fit the clock's center post. The idea is simple, sandwich anything between the clock motor and washers. You put the hands on, insert the battery, and "presto!" instant clock. Simple...no need to add water.
The harder part. What to use?
If you have one, a great geek clock uses an 8” floppy. Yes children, floppies used to be 8 inches. If you don’t believe me, rent War Games...and yes, that really is how computers used to look.
Motherboards: I have a few 286 and 386 motherboards lying around. To make them into a good clock, you have to find the center of mass and drill a hole through the center. Be careful not to crack it. Consider a pilot hole first. Then, thread the clock’s post through the hole. Cake. You can actually use any type of internal board for this. Motherboards just look good since they are big and have a load of chips. I actually saw someone do thing with a PII processor...at your own risk. If you don't put the motor at the board's center of mass, the clock won't hang straight. Crooked clocks can be fixed by adding a few nickels to weigh down one side.
Hard disks: Hard disks make the nicest clocks. The platters make nice background for the brass clock hands. I actually get compliments on mine. First you need to open the case. Opening up a hard disk can be tricky. Just be calm about it. They may have hidden screws. They may use funny screw heads. You may have to drill a few out. Try to find what is sticking and gently use a blade to get it apart. Just be patient and try not to force anything. It will eventually come apart. As a note, this voids the warranty. Also, opening the drive will kill it...use only spare drives that you never plan to use again. Older drives are better. Try to find one in the 250 to 500 meg range. These drives usually used a single platter and were about 3.5 inches. The 5.25 drives are just to big to work with.
Once the hard disk is open, remove the screws that secure the platter. Whatever you do, don’t scratch the platter. Save the ring the holds the platter, you will use this later. Remove the platter and wrap in tissue paper. Be aware of the read/write arm and don’t damage it. Removing the HD motor can be trick. Some are just bolted in, while others are formed as part of the hard disk case. Be resourcefully. The back of the platter will cover the hole in the back of the HD case. GET THE MOTOR OUT. Once done, drill a hole through the back of the case that will allow the clock post to pass through the back. Using a washer and a nut, secure the motor to the back of the HD case. Using washers, shim out until you reach the level where the hard disk platter used to lie. Carefully, and without scratching it, put the platter back between the read/write heads, and be sure to thread the post through the hole in the platter (the platter naturally has a hole in the center...they grow this way...don’t drill one). Put the original ring back over the platter (and the center post). Sandwich with a wash and a nut. Put on the hands. “Et, Je suis Finis." (Michael J Fox, "Doc Hollywood").
Jewelry
We know that diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but what should geeks give their girls? That is simple: earrings!
Get surgical steel posts from the crafts store...then go to town. Mount SIMMs or DIMMs to the posts and you’ll have a nice set of dangly earrings (be sure to sand the rough edges). Stick the posts to chips, sockets...whatever you want. Your old parts are your gem mine. Do be aware of weight...motherboard earrings are going to far.
Chips don’t make good nose or eyebrow rings though...Resistors to the rescue. Tin the leads with 100% silver solder, trim, and they are ready for action. No assembly required...just bend to fit. Not only are resistors cheap, but you can color co-ordinate with your outfit and your mood. Need red earrings? A 2.2K ohm resistor will give you the three red strips you’re looking for. Feel like being a road block? Accessorizing with 2.2 mega ohm resistors tells people you are there to get in the way. Feel like you can handle anything...power resistors are what you need. Formal occasion? Try diodes instead. They are all black, yet keep that "geek mood". The list is endless. Plus, resistor earrings are good for any part of the body. Sometimes they are all you need to say, "Don’t go there!" without words.
These projects are all fairly easy and will make your fellow geeks envious. Plus, if you have children, it will introduce them to that fabulous geek word in which you live. Most importantly, you’ll turn your old, obsolete stuff into useful things...which makes room for new obsolete stuff. Ain’t technology great?!
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bdolcourt
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Member: Bram Dolcourt
Location: Valhalla, NY
Reviews written: 33
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About Me:
After graduating in Chemistry from Brandeis and a short EMS career, I'm a Medical Student.
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