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Member Advice Summary
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Breast Feeding in a Capitalist Society
by rebeccablood | Oct 22 '99
My friend Beth is about to have a baby. She recently complained to me about the advice she's being given by her "feminist" co-workers, who are telling her that breast-feeding is "a tool of the man to keep women down." She and I agree...Return to opinion
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Well Done plus formula/c-section comment (Reply to this comment)
by auswrite
Great article!
Funnily enough, I just wrote a blog about the sale of formula in a capitalist society. The use of questionable marketing strategies (??'premium' and 'standard' baby formulas from the same company? ethics people!!!) and so forth when formula is such a basic nutritional need for non-breastfed babes formed the gist of it. Scary stuff.
By the way: In part in response to others comments here-in and in part just to express myself, I add the following comment...
There is a lot of negativity surrounding a womans 'choice' to formula feed and her 'choice' to have a c-section.
Its hard now to take seriously the woman who says 'I didn't have a choice' on both those counts.
I didn't though. I fought tooth and nail to have vaginal deliveries (24 hours labour in pregnancy 1, the whole prenancy of research and protest to doctors for pregnancy 2)and breastfeed my babies (6 weeks baby 1, 6 weeks baby 2, including medication, breast pumps, daily breastfeeding doctors appts, pain, babies loosing weight, failure to thrive).
Had I continued the fight past a certain point, I and my babies would likely have died in labour and failing that, my babies would have failed to thrive and died without some sort of intervention post-delivery.
So short of leaving 'fate' in natures hands, I had no choice.
For some women, the practicality of both those decisions is one of choosing life.
Am I less of a woman because of that? Yes in some ways. Women are built to have babies, my functioning on all counts reproductively is faulty. (8 year gap between babies, fertility treatment etc, just to complete the trio of reproductive faults!)
I am glad medical intervention gave us all a fighting chance. My children are wonderful! I wonder what would have been different if they had a natural beginning to life. But they are alive, so they have a chance, which is better than the alternative.
As I never had the luxury of choosing, I can't comprehend what would make a woman without good reason, opt for formula or c-section. But that is not a criticism, just a lack of understanding on my part after a longing to have something I couldn't.
I do however, choose to be an at-home mum, and grapple with that choice every day.
I can't tell where public opinion falls with that choice.
Is it noble to stay home when one could juggle a career? Or is it a modern womans obligation to manage both babies and career?
If I was working, I would likely be insecure about the former. As an at-homer, the latter is my nagging doubt.
All this choice has made life very complex! But would we have it any other way?
Cheers for the food-for-thought.
auswrite
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Mar 19 '05
12:09 pm PST
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Well-written, well-thought. (Reply to this comment)
by asturbridge
True food for thought--well-composed, well-thought-out, a coherent and cohesive POV well-stated.
Hmm. That sounds like a teacher's comments on a paper. But it works, so there you are. Well worth the HR.
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Oct 06 '00
2:26 pm PDT
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Rhetoric... (Reply to this comment)
by DJ_Dre
I heard in another forum where a self-confessed "feminist" said the that trend (social pressure) that's been leading towards higher/longer rates of breasting is a rhetoric that can chain women to breastfeeding.
Yup.
I'm paraphrasing, but that was the jist. That suggesting that breastfeeding was ideal, could limit a woman.
I don't blame feminism for this, just pointing out an extreme. Prehaps there is some credence to conservatives who say the free love/me first revolution was really about selfish ideals.
I just don't see how any sacrifice toi breastfeed, could be viewed in a negative light. But some feminists paint it that way.
Andre
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Aug 01 '00
11:57 pm PDT
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Couldn't have said it better myself as a SAHM (Reply to this comment)
by Julesmom1
Rebecca,
I am touched and pleased by your essay and thoroughly enjoyed its prose to boot. Thanks for reinforcing decisions made by those of us who heretofore had considered themselves "feminists" until they had a child and realized what was really important.
Dawn
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Jun 20 '00
7:57 pm PDT
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Who said we should have to choose... (Reply to this comment)
by lorrena
The travesty is that society is telling us that we have to choose between breastfeeding our children or keeping our jobs. There are alternatives...they take creativity and tolerance...and a world that values the welfare of children. I was lucky...I didn't have to choose...my children went to work with me.
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Jun 09 '00
11:19 pm PDT
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Re: Who says they are feminists? (Reply to this comment)
by kathi
Ugh, I have always considered myself a "feminist"... but these women are suffering from misplaced notions and ultimately making the concept of feminism into something that I just cannot accept.
In the case of breastfeeding being a "tool of the man to keep women down", this is just plain poppycock. As if men invented breastfeeding. We're talking about the nutrition of an infant, for goodness sakes!
Also, if their reasoning is that breastfeeding is a tool for the man to keep a woman "in her place" at home, that reasoning is faulty. I successfully breastfed four children while maintaining a successful career, as have many of my acquaintances. Granted, the workplace doesn't always make that convenient, and it can take some work to pull it off... but there are ways to handle it.
Anyway, I thank you for posting this epinion. It has opened my eyes to something that I, thankfully, have never encountered.
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Jun 03 '00
12:14 pm PDT
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Re: Who says they are feminists? (Reply to this comment)
by miss45459
I'm concerned that many of us so blindly accept the promise that going to work at a high-paying job will make us happy. I'm concerned that the struggle for women's self-determination can be reduced by corporate interests to a simple equation of working = free. I'm dismayed that any woman can be so brainwashed by the consumer ethic that she can consider the choice to breast-feed her child as a ploy to keep her in her place.
I agree whole heartedly with you. Below is a web site that is at times interesting & frustrating at the same time. Especially in the US the mentality of school, work, tons of money=happy is terribly flawed. Look at all of the commercials for anti anxiety & depression drugs on TV.
http://www.whywork.org/
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May 21 '00
8:09 pm PDT
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Feminist oppression (Reply to this comment)
by dbodily
Your review was very well written. Although I agree with your point of view there are a lot of people who will not. Women have a great deal more choices than they have ever before, but at what cost, and not all are bad just different.
Thanks for your delightful opinion.
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May 20 '00
11:40 am PDT
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Hmmm.... (Reply to this comment)
by sunny_mac
Not all of us work solely for money and consumer goods. Some women are very talented and love what they do. Why this assumption that anytime a woman chooses to work it is ONLY about cash flow? I'd like to think that women are more valuable to society than that.
sunny mac
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May 15 '00
3:43 pm PDT
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Choices (Reply to this comment)
by HNAC
I thought one of the big goals of feminism was to help women realize the choices they have, not make them for them. I don't like people telling me how to live my life, whether it's a man OR a woman.
Beyond that, as a long time breastfeeding mom, I loved this epinion!
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Apr 08 '00
8:46 am PDT
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Hmmm (Reply to this comment)
by Karra
How can any woman posing as one to fight for women's rights say that breastfeeding is being PUT DOWN? Breastfeeding my son is the most wonderful priviledge a woman can have aside from birthing the baby. It is NATURAL, what makes us women. These feminists are denying what makes them women in order to be just like men. I love womanhood, I will die before I have to be like those darn men!!! I love being a natural woman. Was my natural vaginal delivery a put down from men?? (Gee...maybe I shoulda had a C-section, I don't want to be less of a woman.......)
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Apr 07 '00
11:39 pm PDT
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Amazing! (Reply to this comment)
by MCMamaJ
What wonderful and salient points you have made here! Thank you for bringing them out into the public view!
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Mar 27 '00
10:56 pm PST
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Well-said! Bravo! (Reply to this comment)
by ladybug25
My sentiments exactly.
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Mar 27 '00
2:19 pm PST
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Explaining my rating (Reply to this comment)
by Melissa_M
While I feel that you review gets to your point the long way around, I do see what you are trying to express. Breastfeeding is simply the best choice, in my opinion, and, I am glad you gave your viewpoint on this touchy issue.
Your thoughts are interesting and new to me. You made me think, which is the point of a good review. Kudos for that.
The only reason I didn't give you HR is that I felt that you took a long route to a much shorter statement. Excellent thought process, though.
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Mar 15 '00
8:58 pm PST
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To be a true feminist, you can't want to be a man. (Reply to this comment)
by ccarlson
Preach it, sister! --er, that is, I agree wholeheartedly. I just have a thought to add: from the attitudes and comments I have received myself from self-described feminists, I believe that the core of the problem is that many "feminists" today think that to be a feminist, a woman has to act like the stereotype of a *man*: tough, exclusively self- reliant, gainfully employed outside the home, unencumbered by the obligations and heartaches (and joys) of motherhood.
Who says that women have to be like men to be liberated?! Isn't that a little misogynistic? Or a lot?
I will be a feminist till the day I die, but *I* believe that to be a feminist means not only insisting on equal rights, equal pay, and respect for women, but also insisting on retaining the right to *choose* to be a mother, *choose* to stay home, *choose* to breastfeed your baby. And I also believe that it means not selling out what makes women distinct from men, emotionally and in interpersonal relationships, and not trying to be just like men, all in the name of liberation. True feminism means being able to appreciate and admire the feminine in the yin and yang of the masculine and feminine.
Nothing wrong with being a woman, or appreciating traditional roles and choices... just as long as they ARE choices.
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Feb 11 '00
9:52 am PST
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Re: Who says they are feminists? (Reply to this comment)
by rebeccablood
I refer to these women as feminists because they characterize themselves that way.
Women have achieved a great deal in the last 20 years--and we still have a ways to go.
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Feb 06 '00
9:37 pm PST
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Great Opinion! (Reply to this comment)
by tbeyer
I loved reading your opinion. Not only is it well written, you make several valid points that I heartily agree with.
It brings to mind a question my husband and I always pose to people: On your deathbed, are you going to wish you had been more successful in your career, or wished you had spent more time with your loved ones?
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Jan 23 '00
12:12 pm PST
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I enjoyed this POV (Reply to this comment)
by sassafrass
I have seen similar responses in 'feminists' that I come into contact with. Specifically, those in my own family who groan whenever I announce that I am pregnant. Things maternal are often offensive to hard core feminists.
I disagree with the assertion that feminists are the reason for my 'freedom'. They have made many mistakes that keep me in bondage.
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Jan 23 '00
12:20 am PST
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? (Reply to this comment)
by mattjoe
how can anyone have "not recommended" this opinion, it makes perfect sense and is well structured grammatically, and I noticed no spelling errors.
It sticks to the topic of her strange friends cock-a-mammie nonsense about breast feeding being a tool of "the man" to keep them down.
Since when is nature and natures way of providing food for offspring a tool of "the man" Personally I thought it was mother nature.
"the man" what a joke. some people need a lobotomy
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Jan 17 '00
8:54 am PST
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Who says they are feminists? (Reply to this comment)
by arstevens
When you call these women at your friend's work "feminists" I have to question what your criteria is. It was the early 1970's feminists who pave d the way for birthing centers, breast-feeding, and women-centered obstetrics. So be careful about casually throwing around the word "feminists" and then trashing ideas as "feminist" when they are not at all. The real feminists made you free sweetheart.
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Dec 10 '99
4:35 pm PST
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Capitalism at it's finest. (Reply to this comment)
by munkieville
I enjoyed this opinion especialy as a male who is often stepped on by backwards feministic points of view. As i have stated elsewhere, I am not aginst equality. I am a male and I am not putting anyone down.
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Dec 08 '99
4:07 pm PST
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