Wheres my mom, dad?
Feb 07 '00
My husband is adopted. This story could be made into a soap opera. He was never informed that he was adopted, but found out one day in his 30's that his "father" was in World War II when he was conceived. He simply read his birth certificate, something he had never done before.
My husband was raised by his cousin, the woman he knows as mom. His real mother was not married, and had met a sailor, on leave from the war, and my husband was conceived. The sailor, whom we may never know, got on his ship and sailed out to the sunset, probably never knowing he had a child on the way.
His real mother, single, and probably afraid, had her baby and tried to raise him with her mother's help for two months. Because of a fire in her apartment, she asked her cousin to take care of the baby until she got back on her feet. Needless to say, its been 53 years, and I guess she never did.
My husband knows who his mother is but has not seen her in 43 years. Before his real mother married, my husbands adopted mother asked her cousin if she was ready to take her son home and her answer was NO. She then married, and had three children that my husband remembers. As he was growing up, they were introduced to him as his cousins. He remembers them but he has lost touch with them and his "adopted mother" will not divulge any more information. What I wrote is what we know.
This man has gone through most of his life wondering what his mother is like, what his half brothers and sister are doing today, and what kind of medical problems he should be aware of. I tried to find these people, but my husband is not as gung-ho as I am. He doesn't want to bother his mother, since she really didn't want him all those years ago. He does not want to change her life or his siblings. We don't even know if she is still alive. It's rather sad. I abide by my husband's wishes but if it were my parents, I would move mountains to find them. I joke with him all the time, telling him I'm calling up Montel Williams, Oprah Winfrey, or any talk show host who can find his real family. He doesn't think its funny.
Adoption can be a beautiful thing. In my husband's case, it's not a pretty story. I would urge all people who put their children up for adoption to write to their child, explaining why they did what they did. It's important to be loved and raised by the best possible people when you own parents cannot take care of you. It's important too for the child to understand WHY. I look forward to the day when he can get some peace in this episode. I don't know if he ever will.
God bless adopted parents. Your job is not an easy one. Give the child as much love as you can, so that they never feel that they are missing out on something. For the people who must give up their children, do the right thing for that child. Remember, one day they will look for you because they miss their mother and want to know what it would have been like if they remained with you.
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Epinions.com ID:
acdc711
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Member: Denise
Location: NY
Reviews written: 241
Trusted by: 297 members
About Me:
Never say never
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