"Honey, We Need To Talk..."
May 31 '00
If you have read any of my previous reviews you are already aware of the fact that I have 5 children between the ages of 2 and 6. When my husband and I met he had already had 2 children from his first marriage and I'd had 1. We did things a little backwards and ended up pregnant WITH TWINS before we decided to go ahead and get married. Oh my Lord, what was I going to do with 5 kids? I was only 25 at the time!
When I look back today, only being 2 1/2 years later, I realize how truly blessed we are. Of course right after the twins were born and we were sitting in the hospital room staring at them with amazement I broke the silence with, "Honey, we need to talk!" You guessed it...snip, snip. Being the wonderful and thoughtful person my husband is, he agreed and offered to be the one to go under the knife. I had discussed the issue with my OB/GYN and she was pretty much against me getting my tubes tied since I was so young. That's ok, that was her opinion and I respected that. (She's a great doctor, don't get me wrong. If I had pushed the issue she would have done it, of course. Knowing my hubby had already opted for it I knew it wasn't a big deal for me to do it too.)
I often wonder sometimes how we do it...the bills, the transportation to school and school events, my husband's work, my work, our personal time, and most of all I wonder if we are giving as much love to each child as they need. I looked around and especially deep inside myself and found that, yes, we are giving enough love and nurturing to each child. They are happy, healthy and very well rounded kids. People always ask me if they're all our's. I simply smile and say yes, they are. Of course everyone automatically assumes that means I also birthed all 5 of them. NOT!
The best part of having 5 children all around the same age is that they're all still pretty much interested in the same type of activities. We can do anything from sit on the sidewalk and color with chalk to have a water gun fight in the yard or watch a family movie together. Everybody helps each other out and we get along just fine. From the outside looking in, some folks would say that I'm a little hard on my kids as far as discipline goes. I have to be. No, I don't shout at them with a bullhorn and whip in my hand but at the same time I'm not afraid to raise my voice or even swat them in public if they're acting out of order. If I'm to ever get anything accomplished they have to behave.
I hear a lot of moms say that they can't imagine how I do it with 5 because they can't even handle the 2 that they already have. They say they're lucky to get out of the house and be anywhere before 9 a.m.. What?! By this time I usually have the opportunity to get a glimpse of how the relationship between them and their child is....the child is usually ruling the parent and telling them what they want and when to do it and how to it. I hear so many parents talking about how they don't think we should spank or punish our kids because it teaches them to be mean or violent. I'm personally on the other side of the fence on this issue. Obviously that's the way it's been done the past 15 years or so and look what's happening in our schools. I can guarantee you that bomb threats and shootings weren't an issue when I was in school. Any my parents raised me with enough respect for them and myself not to dress with my pants down to my knees and colored hair. It's called RESPECT folks! I'm trying to teach my kids respect for themselves and for others.
I don't want to get off the subject here but I want to get the point across that raising a large family IS very challenging but it also reaps tons of rewards! People are constantly commenting on how well our children behave and "it's amazing that you get so many things done with all those kids around". I'll admit, it's not always easy. I don't try to make it look easy. When it does get tough and I wonder why I ever had kids to begin with, I stop and tell myself that God must have thought I would be a pretty good mother or he wouldn't have blessed me with what I have today. God doesn't give anyone any more than they can handle.
Today the twins are 2 1/2, my step-son is 4, my daughter is 5 and my step-daughter is 6. My husband and I are both sane and still very much in awe of what God delivered for us.
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Epinions.com ID:
hlbirk
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Member: Heather Smith
Location: Olathe, Kansas
Reviews written: 126
Trusted by: 55 members
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