RESPECT! It's Half the Battle!
Oct 31 '00
I just finished taking my children out trick-or-treating for Hallowe’en. I am so tremendously impressed with their behaviour this evening. I have to say I have done one heck of a great job as a parent so far! And I will say so myself! (Actually, my husband just said so, too, but I heartily agreed with him!)
My children, aged 5 and 9, were the best behaved kids out there tonight. They never walked on the lawns, always going around to the driveways and sidewalks. They always politely said thank you, and when my son was requesting money for UNICEF, he always spoke very respectfully. They wished everyone a Happy Hallowe’en, complimented people on their outdoor decorations and their costumes, and just behaved in such a very respectful way that everyone noticed.
When they both returned home, they respected all my decisions regarding the inspection of candy, what they could have to eat this evening, and when bedtime was. (It was earlier this evening because it had been a very busy day for them.) After the “loot” had been inspected they went through their candy together and traded some things, and my 9 year old gave his sister some of his candy. He had gone to a few more houses than she had, and he wanted to share his extras with her. They also both shared with “poor old mom and dad” because they did just as much walking with them, but didn’t get any candy.
It didn’t escape my notice that my kids were getting extra candy and UNICEF donations….even when other children were at the door with them. While my children were walking on the driveways and sidewalks, many other children were running over lawns and in flower beds. When other children complained about what the “treat” was, my children were saying “thank you”. When other children were grabbing the treats and running, my children were telling people how much they liked their jack-o-lanterns or costumes. When my children saw that some people were not participating in this yearly tradition, they didn’t think less of them, they respected their right to do so. The differences in behaviour were noted by many people, and my children were rewarded for their respectful demeanor with candy, stickers, and even small toys in some cases. I am not going to tell my children about the rewards they received for their respect. I want them to be respectful of others because they should be, not because they get something for it!
I have always tried to teach my children respect by example. I have tried to always be respectful towards others, even though it’s darn hard with some people! I have always told them to be respectful of other people’s feelings, and to treat others as well as they expect to be treated. It seems to be working very well, indeed. I have always stressed to them the need to be respectful of other people’s property. This is particularly easy when you explain to them what would happen if someone were disrespectful of their toys. I have always expected their respect, and I (usually) receive it. They are also given respect by both parents, thus showing them that to give respect is to receive it. It may not always be the case (and they have had ample examples of that out in the world), but it is the rule in our home.
Respect is a very basic value to teach your children, one that they will carry with them all of their lives. If you teach your children to respect other’s belongings, feelings, beliefs, and differences, then you have won more than half the battle of raising a valuable, contributing member of society. I feel that I have made a very valuable first step in that direction with my children, and hopefully I will be able to keep them on the right road. I do realize that it may become increasingly difficult as they reach their teen years, but I am hopeful that with the foundation that I have laid that it will be an easier task.
I’m not saying that my children are perfect, but they certainly were tonight! Tomorrow we will return to the land of sibling rivalry and “duct tape fantasies”, but for now I think I’ll just bask in the glory of a hard earned accomplishment. And as for Mom and Dad not getting any candy tonight, well, I think seeing their wonderful behaviour, and receiving so many approving nods from other parents was worth so much more than candy.
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Member: Beverley
Location: Canada
Reviews written: 290
Trusted by: 419 members
About Me:
So good to be home, but so very tired!
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