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BAM!! (Reply to this comment)
by worldnick
Although your point is marginally interesting, and even merits a moment or less of thought, I can hardly condone the length that was wasted on such a simple concept. I hate long windedness (word?) so if you were wondering why someone would NR this review...
and dont be talkin back like you know cause you dont know, jig-gaaaaa
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Jun 24 '00 4:45 am PDT
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Contraceptive Sex & Commitment (Reply to this comment)
by Dane.Weber
What is the real cause of Rebecca's men being afraid of the financial responsibility of a child? I don't believe it has much to do with some error in their upbringing; I believe it has lot to do with the fact that they are having contraceptive sex.
Contraception is the way that you say, "I don't want a child."
Okay, fine. That makes sense. It's a little too blatant to be important though, isn't it? I say no. By having contraceptive sex, we condition ourselves to treat sex as unconnected to children. Sure, we all know where the little tykes come from; the stork isn't to be seen around our houses. But still, that is how we treat sex--unconnected to children.
Sex might be about love, recreation, pleasure, boredom, adventure, or something else, but it's not about kids. A child is an investment. It is something you purchase when you can afford one. It becomes a toy, a status symbol, a membership fee, or something equally inhuman. It is not a product of the love between a man and a woman.
Why? Because when a man loves a woman, and the woman loves the man, they want to express their intimacy. The best expression of this love and intimacy that I know of is sex. But remember, sex doesn't mean kids. Kids are another matter entirely.
What am I trying to say? I'm saying that these men have been conditioned by contraception to think of children as expensive accessories, something that they can't afford. In order to prevent an unwanted purchase, they are sure to take precautions. These contraceptive precautions merely ingrain the inhuman view of children.
I haven't said a whole lot in all of the previous paragraphs, so I'm going to make a few sweeping conclusions before I finish.
Men (and women) who have been conditioned by contraception can't love their children as products of love, only as prized possessions.
Contraceptive men and women will find it much more difficult to commit themselves to each other. There is no commitment intended in contraceptive sex, and as sex is the sign of truly intimate love, they signify no commitment to their love for each other.
Ladies, if you want a man to be open to children, you need a man that is committed to you. The best way I know to make sure that a man is committed to you is to see if he is wearing a wedding band that you placed on his finger.
So There!
Dane Weber
[if someone doesn't disagree with me, I'll be mightily surprised]
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Jun 21 '00 2:44 pm PDT
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Missing the point (Reply to this comment)
by MarsSaxman
Maybe a man looks at a child and sees the six-figure price tag. Maybe he hears noisy, inane babble and thinks about how much nicer it is to converse with adults. Maybe he sees the messy face and the torn clothes and the constantly hungry stomach, and would rather spend all the time that goes with satisfying those needs on his own interests. Maybe he notices how little so many parents seem to have in their lives other than their children.
Maybe he knows perfectly well how much work goes into raising a child - how much love and attention and maintenance a child needs - and maybe that's *why* he wants no part of it.
There are many reasons a man might not want to be a father - all of them, as far as I'm concerned, valid. As long as he is responsible about birth control, the particular reason behind it all is irrelevant.
Since the only part of parenthood an unwilling father can be forced into is financial support, it's understandable that many men would see that as the most important reason to be extra careful with birth control. A woman can't be forced into parenthood at all, so her reasons don't need to be quite as focused.
Regarding the women you mention who talk about not wanting a child "right now", It would not surprise me if many women who don't want a child *ever* simply temper their opinions for public consumption, implying that at some point in the future they might want a child. In a society that venerates motherhood, being a woman who wants no children is not a road to popularity.
-Mars
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May 18 '00 1:36 pm PDT
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