Breastfeeding, Failure to Thrive, and Determination
May 13 '00
I believe strongly that all babies should be breastfed for as long as possible. However, I also understand the reality that some women simply cannot breastfeed, and that some women choose not to do so for their own personal reasons. I am not condemning these women, in fact I feel tremendous sympathy for the ones who try and cannot, because I was almost one of them. When I was pregnant with my son, my first child, I did all the comparative reading and research, and I fully committed myself to nursing my babies. Why?
Forget about all the nutritional benefits, the antibodies, the special bond between the mother and child while nursing. A key determining factor for me was I wouldn't have to wash bottles!. The thought of getting up in the middle of the night to prepare and warm a bottle just turned me right off. How much simpler and more wonderful to just snuggle up with the baby at the breast, where we could both doze off peacefully if we wanted! Not to mention the advantages while travelling, and we do quite a bit of that. Adding all the other benefits onto these practical considerations, I decided that nursing was definitely the way to go.
When my daughter was born nearly 18 months ago, she weighed in at a respectable 6 pounds, 12 ounces. She latched on immediately and would nurse for 20 to 30 minutes at a time. She was a very mellow baby, always seemed content to sleep, and overnight often slept for 4-5 hours at a stretch. About the only problem I had with her is that she was very resistant to taking the left breast, a problem that is much more common than you ever hear about.
As a second-time nursing mom, I figured I was just lucky to have a good sleeper, and I was thankful that my daughter took to nursing so easily. When my son was born, I went through about a week of sheer hell trying to teach him to latch on properly. He had been given a bottle (against my express wishes) in the hospital, and after that, he figured if he resisted the nipple long enough, he'd get his easy-flow meals. Nursing is hard work for babies, and they aren't stupid. They will do whatever is easiest for them. It took several days but I finally won my son over, because I was determined to make nursing work for us. I was convinced of the health and psychological benefits (not to mention those bottles!) and there was no way I was caving in to my very stubborn newborn. Now, with my daughter, I was just relieved that she seemed to know how to latch on immediately, and she didn't seem to be having any problems nursing.
When my milk came in I wasn't engorged as badly as I had been with my son, but I figured that was just because I had been through this before. I had been constantly leaking with my first child, but now I hardly dripped at all, and again, I just chalked it up to experience. The real shock came when I took Dana in to the pediatrician's for her first week checkup. Less than a week old, she weighed only 5 pounds, 10 ounces -- even though I was nursing her every 2-3 hours, for at least 30 minutes each time.
All babies lose some weight when they are first born, but most gain it back in a few days, and pediatricians like to see it all back again within a week of birth. The fact that Dana had lost so much weight indicated something was clearly wrong. I discussed my nursing with the pediatrician, and he immediately suggested supplementing with formula. I protested. No, really, I begged for a chance to try and re-establish my milk supply. Reluctantly, he recommended I step up her feedings to every two hours, and that I also pump to stimulate milk production. He gave me a two-day probation period to try this before resorting to supplementing with formula. My determination to nurse was stronger than ever; I was not going to force my daughter to take formula! But I could tell the pediatrician was concerned, too. Neither of us wanted Dana to lose any more weight, so I had better start getting results, immediately.
At this same time I spoke with a lactation consultant, who diagnosed Dana with what is called a "non-nutritive suck." My darling angel would latch on just fine, but she didn't suckle hard enough to stimulate let-down, and consequently my milk production was falling off alarmingly. I had to do something to increase my milk supply, and to get more milk into my baby daughter!
For nearly 8 weeks, every 2 to 3 hours, this is what I did: Dana nursed on the right side while I pumped with the Avent Isis (see my review) on the left. The pump would stimulate let down, and Dana gradually learned how to take the milk from the breast. But all that work exhausted her, leaving her tired but still hungry, so then she would get the milk from the left side that had been pumped into the bottle. Often it would take her more than half an hour to drink the 2 ounces or so that I pumped each time. But the day after I started this regimen, when I took her back to the pediatrician's for a weigh-in, she had already gained four ounces! The pediatrician gave me the green light to continue.
After a week of daily weigh-ins showing steady gain, the pediatrician cut back our schedule to once-a-week weigh-ins. After a few weeks, when it was clear that Dana was continuing to gain, he actually congratulated me. I was surprised. I had no idea what he was talking about, why should he congratulate me?
He explained that once the milk supply is nearly gone (as mine was when I started the pumping/nursing routine), it is very difficult to bring it back up to the level where the baby will have enough. He had been sure that he would be giving me formula for her, and was very surprised when he didn't have to!
I felt a mixture of emotions at this. Yes, I was happy that Dana was finally getting enough to eat, but I was still tremendously guilty that I hadn't noticed what was happening with her sooner. In fact I felt so horrible that I think the worst thing that could have happened would have been for her to go on formula. I had a very positive nursing experience with my son and I was looking forward to sharing the same relationship with my daughter. I truly did not want to deprive her of all the benefits, and I also didn't want to have to prepare and wash all those bottles!
Part of my aversion to formula feeding has to do with the infant health history of my family. I was a bottle baby, and as an infant I ran such high temperatures that my parents had to take me to the hospital, where they would immerse me in ice baths while they waited for the high-potency tetracycline antibiotic to kick in. The tetracycline wreaked havoc on my permanent teeth, but that's another topic. All of the babies in my family had a history of chronic ear infections; most of us had our tonsils removed as soon as possible. I saw this trend continuing in my bottle-fed nieces and nephews, many infant illnesses, whereas my nieces and nephews that were nursed had very few serious infections, if any.
My own son has had one ear infection his entire life, and he is now 3. My daughter has yet to have any. I realize there is an element of luck in this, but given my own experience and the family history, I figure my kids need every protection I can give them. Breastfeeding is the best thing I can do to safeguard their health during their first year.
Ironically, in those days of struggle, I did many, many more dishes washing that pump every feeding than I would have if I had just given her the formula. My sister, who nursed all four of her children, even asked me, "Honey, why don't you just give her a bottle? You're exhausting yourself." I don't think I could ever explain to anyone the web of emotions, thoughts, and promises that was holding me together at that point. One of the main points I kept reiterating to everyone who thought I was crazy was that Dana didn't eat very well from the bottle, either. The typical infant can consume 2 ounces in a lot less than 45 minutes. At least she was used to the breastmilk. If I tried to give her formula, I was seriously afraid that she might quit eating altogether. And she really did seem to like nursing, she was just not very good at it, at first.
It took nearly 8 weeks for Dana to learn how to nurse with enough strength to bring the milk down herself, and for her to finally accept my left breast. It took her a month to get back to her birth weight. She was 9 weeks old her first Christmas, and we dressed her in a Premie dress that seemed huge on her tiny 7+ pound body. That dress, still hanging in her closet, looks like a doll's dress, and it's hard to believe it was once too big for her.
Today, she's an active toddler with a voracious appetite. I wish her brother ate half as well as she does! Even now, months after she weaned herself, I still feel tremendous relief to see her eating so well. The constant fear I felt between her first and eighth weeks, when she seemed so indifferent to eating, still echoes somewhere down inside me. I didn't fail my responsibility to her, and some may say I am over-reacting, that she was never really in danger. But when it is your own child so reluctantly sipping at a bottle, so weakly suckling at your breast, you can't help but worry, and pray that everything will be all right. I feel truly blessed to have been able to accomplish what I did, and to have brought my daughter to where she is today.
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QuietI
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Member: Joan Hedman
Location: Chandler, AZ
Reviews written: 89
Trusted by: 70 members
About Me:
Busy. Life. You know.
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