Postpartum Depression without Being Pregnant First?
Jun 12 '00
Is it possible to get postpartum depression without having given birth? I am not sure what your doctor would say to this, but yes, I know it is possible. As a Social Worker, I see adoptive parents (mothers AND fathers) go through it all of the time. I have spoken to several OB-GYNs about this, and once they gave it some thought, have agreed that it is possible.
It is believed that as many as 80% of new mothers suffer from at least a mild form of postpartum depression. The exact cause isn't known, but it is believed that rapid changes in hormone levels is a factor, as well, as lack of sleep, change in lifestyle, new responsibilities, and stress. It is a fact that depression is common after any life changing event, and this extends to having a new baby in the home.
Now on to my argument about adoptive parents. The adoptive parents that I work with are all couples that have been unable to have biological children due to infertility. They decide that parenting is their main objective, and parenting can be accomplished by adopting. Many of these couples have been through years of infertility treatments, then maybe several more years trying to decide their next step, then probably several more years on a waiting list at the adoption agency. They want this baby more than anything else in the world, and if you haven't been in this position, you will probably never understand the desire, nor the frustration. Then all of a sudden they are handed this brand new baby. Their dreams have finally come true!! They are overwhelmed by happiness, and relief that their long wait is over. The new parents take their baby home to fulfill their fantasy.
Many times I have had one of these brand new parents call me a few days later, saying they are stressed out, unable to sleep, having crying spells, etc. Okay, the honeymoon is over! I warn all of my adoptive parents well ahead of time about the "postpartum depression" and tell them that if it happens to them, they should call me. When I first tell them about this, they laugh and say it could never happen to them; they want this baby too bad to ever have feelings like that. So imagine their surprise when it does happen to them!
So how could they be suffering from this if they didn't give birth? Bringing a brand new baby into the home is very stressful for anyone. You are probably up half the night with the baby. Your daily routine is knocked out of kilter. You can't just pick up and go like you are used to. You find that you don't have time to clean the house, cook, or even take a bath. Even if you did have the time, you may not have the energy. And for adoptive parents there are additional stresses. Because you didn't give birth, people assume you are well rested and physically/emotionally fresh, so they come to visit (sometimes in very large groups). They are not as likely to bring prepared food for you, like you might with someone who just gave birth. They aren't as likely to offer to help you with the running of the household. They don't offer to go to the grocery for you, or stay with baby for a while so you can take a nap. If you do complain about the lack of sleep or the stress, other people are likely to say, "Well, this is what you wanted so badly!" Then, since you didn't give birth to this baby, well meaning friends and family (who ARE biological parents)think you don't have the slightest idea of what you are doing, and proceed to tell you how you are doing everything wrong and give LOTS of unsolicited advice (Note: most of these adoptive parents are probably MORE prepared for their first child than the average person because of the years of preparation and because of the parenting classes, newborn care classes and CPR training they had to have through the adoption agency!!).
Then there is the added stress the adoptive parents put on themselves. After a few days of taking care of this baby, some start questioning their infertility and their decision to adopt. They worry about bonding with the baby if it doesn't happen immediately. Because they are overwhelmed, they may feel they are "bad" parents. I have even had adoptive parents tell me that maybe God made them infertile for a reason and that maybe they weren't meant to be parents.
The good news is, like with most new parents, these symptoms disappear after a few days and they start adjusting to the new lifestyle. The following is a partial list of symptoms for postpartum depression and some tips for dealing with it.
MOST COMMON SYMPTOMS
*Persistent sadness/crying
*Anxiety/panic attacks
*Restlessness
*Difficulty Concentrating
*Inability to sleep
*Feelings of guilt
*Loss of appetite
*Irritability/Moodiness
*Feeling overwhelmed, helpless, inadequate, hopeless
TIPS
*Contact your doctor immediately, even if you just have a mild case
*Eat a balanced diet (even if you don't feel like eating)
*Get some exercise, like going for a walk
*Avoid alcohol
*Try relaxation techniques, such as, yoga, prayer, meditation
*Discuss your feelings with your friends and family; ask them for help around the house, or to watch the baby so you can have some time to yourself.
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