Children are not animals
Jun 20 '00
I am not one to debate an issue. Actually, I am probably one of the most non-confrontational people you will ever encounter. There is one issue, however, that I can’t help but get involved with. It seems that one of the big debates going around the Kids and Family section and in one of the Yahoo! message boards for the past few days centered around children and restaurants. Should there be designated areas in restaurants specifically for families with children?
I read several editorials with opposing views and after about 5 of them I had to stop. Why? Some of the editorials and the comments that followed just made me mad, plain and simple. I read such things as “people won’t control their kids,” and children were referred to as heathens, animals, and brats. Maybe they were not meant to be taken this way, but when I read these statements and phrases it looks like the writers meant that all parents and all children are like that. I’d like to try to point out that this is certainly not the case.
I do want people to realize that some, no let’s make that most of us parents, are trying our best to raise conscientious and considerate children. Personally I am mortified when my son decides to act out in public, especially in a restaurant. It doesn’t happen often, but all parents know that it will happen. Children are children and that type of behavior is inevitable. Even exceptionally well-behaved kids have bad days. Don’t all adults?
Do I like it when children are running rampant, knocking over everything in sight, screaming at the top of their lungs, and bumping into people? Of course not! Nothing makes me more upset than seeing parents who choose to ignore the destructive behavior rather than take a moment to correct it…especially in a restaurant. Not only am I spending my money and the relaxing meal is ruined, but I now have to deal with the added stress of keeping my son under wraps when he sees these kids running around and acting up. He’s thinking why can’t he run around and have fun like everyone else?
It is my duty as a good parent to expose my child to all different types of surroundings. How will he know to act if he is never has the chance to experience it? Yes, my son is taught table manners and general etiquette everyday, but going to a restaurant – a definite different and distracting area, is the real test. Do I take him to formal restaurants or places where children are clearly not welcome? Of course not!
We take him to restaurants that are “kid friendly.” We bring along a few books or even 1 or 2 Matchbox cars to keep him occupied and happy. If everything goes downhill for some reason we will immediately take him outside, will order our food to go, or have what is left boxed up.
Both my husband and myself have been complimented by complete strangers concerning our son’s good behavior. We have even had someone compliment us on how well we handled a situation when our son had one of his “moments.”
As for the separation of families from others at restaurants… So many restaurants cater to families, and I don’t mean McDonalds or Chuck E. Cheese. Ruby Tuesdays, Outback Steakhouse, Red Robin, and Applebees are just a few of the eating establishments that come to mind. They have coloring for kids, some have toys in the waiting area, and in others the servers give the children a balloons. These are not McDonalds’ type restaurants. They realize families want to experience a sit down meal, too, and may like a break from those McNuggets or nondescript burgers.
If separate sections were to be made these restaurants would lose business. Why? Fewer families would patronize their business. I know this family would stop. My son, for the most part, behaves very well in restaurants as I stated earlier. I don’t want to be lumped into the same group as those who choose not to discipline their children. We would refuse visit a place if we were expected to eat in a separate room where the children are allowed to run rampant. We, like those not dining with children, are spending our money as well. I will not willing spend $40+ for a meal with the ambiance of Chuck E. Cheese (if I wanted to see the big rodent we’d go there instead).
This can be taken to other venues as well…how about movies (R-rated)? Or bars? Very expensive (and I mean black tie) restaurants? Yes, I agree whole-heartedly that kids, especially very young ones, should not be taken to certain places. That is the parents fault not the child’s. No child should be expected to sit quietly for 2 hours during a formal meal.
Let’s turn the tables a bit. How about the theater where I paid $150 to see a musical only to listen to my neighbors cell phone ring? Or the movie theater or restaurant where I am subjected to hearing the constant ringing of phones and pagers? Or the restaurant where the loud crowd finds it perfectly suitable to spout out obscenities in every sentence while my impressionable son sits in the next booth? Adults need to show some consideration and responsibility as well.
And finally…Please, please, PLEASE don’t refer to children as heathens, brats, or animals as I have read from so many people. They are children. For many parents, including myself, it is an insult; please refer to them as such or even kids, kiddos, or heck, rugrats. Let’s not belittle them or their parents.
The next time you see children that are out of control and the parents are oblivious, yes, be mad. You have every right to be, and I am right there with you. But when you see that the parent is embarrassed and is doing all that he/she can, give them some slack or even a sympathetic look. Who knows, for that may be you in their position some day.
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Epinions.com ID:
saprswife
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Location: Washington State
Reviews written: 75
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