Adoption inside the Family
Sep 25 '00
I have written on adoption before but I have been faced with a new dilemma in my life that has changed my views a little on adoption. I think adoption is a wonderful thing and it gives unfortunate kids that chance to have a better life but what happens when the child is from your own family?
I am in the process of planning my wedding that will be in November of 2000 and my two oldest nieces are going to be the flower girls. When I asked my one sister about having her daughter in my wedding, she hesitated to answer and then she told me that if she could get her daughter she would let me have her in my wedding. I was very puzzled about why she didn't know if she could get her daughter so I asked her why she didn't know.
She told me about how her ex-boyfriend, the father of her children had given them to his grandparents and how they wouldn't let her see them. She is a very good mother but her ex-boyfriend is a person that probably hasn't worked a straight week in his life. He also was raised by his grandparents because his mother could not care for him. So I figure he thinks that is the way it is done but in my family, the mother raises the child and if she can't then her family helps her through hard times.
The grandparents of the ex-boyfriend have totally taken over the children’s lives by taking them out of state and keeping them away from our family. They even were going to give the children to the ex-boyfriends aunt and uncle that were unable to have kids. His grandmother is a very spiteful and ignorant lady. She obviously raised her grandson in a manor that he doesn't feel that work is important and raising his own children isn't important. This is not the same morals that I want instilled in my niece and nephew.
He is the typical dead beat dad and his grandmother has told him on various occasions that if she doesn't keep the children that she will stop helping them with money. Being the dead beat that he is, he lets the grandmother keep the kids regardless of what my sister says and does. The ex-boyfriend was physically and mentally abusive to my sister even when the children were around and he never showed any emotions towards the kids.
The one instance was when my nephew split his chin open, the father just told him to deal with it while my sister brought him to the Emergency room. How can the government let him be in charge of these children, I will tell you how, they have his last name and that is how he has managed to keep them with his grandmother regardless of what my sister says.
She has called the cops, welfare department, social services, and etc. but no one has helped her yet and since the grandmother has money and my sister doesn't, she seems to be battling a endless fight. This seemed to the end of my sister fighting for her children but I found out that I might be able to help her.
If she were to sign over legal custody to me because I am a more stable role model than her in the courts eyes (because I have a house, job, transportation, and etc.), I will be able to regain the children for her and charge the grandparents with kidnapping. You ask how I can do this, it is her legal right as the mother to let me adopt the children without the fathers permission since he hasn't had a stable job in his entire life and they refuse her time with the children.
This will be a very long and hard battle but I will succeed to get her children back for her and help her stay on her feet so that she can become stable too. This has showed me another reason why adoption is a great way to give children their lives back and help them have the life they deserve. May it be with their mother, father, or some one who loves them but in each situation the child doesn't need to be around confusion and constant arguing.
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Member: Florence Johnston
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