Don't forget about the children.
Mar 02 '00 (Updated Mar 08 '00)
Many times, the feelings and emotions of children of seperation and divorce are often very forgotten. Parents get so caught up in their feelings..hurt, anger, fear, resentment, and many others, that they forget their children are suffering too.
My first piece of advice to parents is find an age appropriate group your child can attend. Check with your childs school (if school aged) and see if they offer a support group for kids of "changing families". If not then call around to a local counselors office. Many places offer support for kids. It's important that kids know they are not alone and there are many kids out there who feel the the way they do, who are in the same situation, and can help them through their feelings and emotions.
A few other pieces of advice:
Use age appropriate explanations of why the divorce is occurring.
Expect children to show all different kinds of emotions. Let them know you understand.
Don't argue in front of your children.
Don't criticize the other parent to your child.
Don't use your child as a messenger to the other parent.
Don't use your child as a spy on the other parent.
Don't use your child to get revenge on the other parent.
Set up regualr visitation schedules and stick to them.
Keep in consistent contact with your child, even if you live out of state.
Let your child know the divorce was not his/her fault.
Let your child now that the decision to divorce is final. Do not allow them to have false hope of a reconciliation.
Be consistent. Let your child know you love them unconditionally. Most of all, remember that your child has many feelings and emotions that need to be dealt with. Don't ignore that.
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Epinions.com ID:
goldengrl
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Member: Stephanie Thompson
Location: WA
Reviews written: 33
Trusted by: 21 members
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