Best Top 10 Songs Ever; no kidding
Mar 19 '00
I know what you're thinking: what does that-guy know about music. Well, having been in college for god knows how long and living in college apartments, I've spent many hours with my ear against the wall of the couple next door and sometimes they played music. With my credentials established, I have to disagree with Epinions setup of being stranded on an island with a stereo and ten albums; for me, it'd be more like my Walkman I've had since fifth grade and a tape of songs I recorded off the radio. But these ten songs would definitely be included (since the category asks for albums, I suggest getting the greatest hits or compilations for each artist).
Songs listed in ascending order (1 is the best).
10 New Kids on the Block Hangin' Tough: Perhaps the greatest band ever to exist, the NKOB formed the foundation for our Boy Band era, their legacy passed down into the capable hands of the Backstreet Boys and 98 Degrees. This song best exhibits their youthful angry and their electro-phonic sound.
9 Warrant Cherry Pie: My pick for greatest romantic song ever written. I've often used the melodic sound and seductive lyrics on unsuspecting that-girls. And you can imagine the outcome.
8 John Tesh Bastille Day: John Tesh is a god. May the spirit of Bastille Day live in us all.
7 Vanilla Ice Ice Ice Baby: The pure embodiment of funk (play that funky music white boy, indeed), Vanilla inspired us all with his social satire, opposing the man in his 5.0 with the window down so his hair can blow (an obvious allusion to Dylan's protest song Blowin' in the Wind).
6 Weird Al Yankovic Living With a Hernia: Though facing criticism for his gangster image and many run-ins with the law, Al has to be the premier ballad writer of our time. This song, with its opera influence, proves his reputation.
5 Barney I Love You, You Love Me: This subversive song about the joys of bestiality sung by the drugged-out purple dinosaur front man shocked many and has become an underground favorite.
4 GG Allin Expose Yourself to Kids: This easy listening hit is the type of song you can put on for a visit from your grandmother and put the lights down low; maybe take some Ex-lax beforehand.
3 Scatterbrain Hey Dude, Don't Call Me Dude: This explosive hit blew the lid off of verbal abuse with uncompromising truth and sincerity. It also was a prelude to the beautiful and tragic tunes in their follow up album Scamboogery.
2 Hanson MMM Bop: Perhaps the single greatest work of poetic lyricism ever in the English language, it deserves to be studied in high school classrooms nationwide. And on a personal note, it has kept me warm inside, pushing back the darkness as I mouth the words when riding on the subway or on a bad date or in a job interview. Not to mention those girls are some nice eye candy.
And here's the absolute greatest song ever.
1 William Shatner Mr. Tambourine Man: Bob Dylan admitted that Jimmy Hendrix's version of All Along the Watchtower was superior to his own, and I'm sure he would agree that Shatner's version of Mr. Tambourine Man improves on the original. The emotion Shatner is able to evoke in each sustained pause brings me to tears. We can only hope to see a performance of this classic in one of Shatner's Priceline commercials soon to come.
Runners up include Julie Andrews, N'Sync, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Firehouse, and Jeff Foxworthy.
I urge you to take your Pinto into town and (by any means necessary) obtain these songs for the cold winter ahead. I mean this island ain't even got cable.
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that-guy
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