When I heard the usual lot of reactionary christian fundamentalist dunderheads damned the new Kevin Smith comedy Dogma, I jumped out of my car during rush hour traffic--doors left open, sirens blaring, children crying—and broke out into a vigorous half mile sprint toward the nearest theater showing the flick and watched it.

Well, not really. But I'm sure you get my gist: If its true that the enemy of my enemy is my friend, then the film that my dogmatic enemy hates is also my friend--unless it’s a Pauly Shore film or something directed by John Hughes of course. Personally, manic hatred of the usual lot of suspect zealots aside, I thought that Dogma was a thoughtful and interesting film. In fact, I highly recommend seeing it after you see the excellent and probably better "Being Inside John Malkovich" for that would mean you would see two original films consecutively. Films that, for the most part, revolve around ideas, language and characters as opposed to the factory line of explosions, shallow derring do, and something fantastical done in CGI. I'm sure I'll feel the same way about that new Bond film.

Just in case you don't read your Catholic weekly, Dogma is kind of a road show film starring Loki, Azreal, fecal demons, a female god, and varied other mythlike creatures--kind of like Gnomes and elves--drawn from that great myth book itself: The Bible. Its plotline is kind of beside the point. Anyone who’s seen Kevin Smith’s films knows that his great strength isn’t plot, but dialogue, which is usually sharp, to the point, and expresses that which more cautious wits would leave unstated. I guess it’s also one man’s exploration of his faith via pop references, scatology, and postmodern hindsight. It’s also full of modern pop allusions. Ben Affleck quotes Bill Bixby’s famous Hulk line “You’re making me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry” and Alan Rickman quotes “Wax on, Wax off” from the first Karate Kid film and he clearly rips off the thunderous voice of God from Marvel’s Black Bolt.

I realize that Kevin Smith, and this would shock his detractors if they were capable of balanced researched thought as opposed to automatically quoting scripture at even the hint of satire, is a practicing Catholic. But after watching this film, and I am a practicing agnostic, my advice to Kevin is: Join the dark side. Your film might not work so much as art—your previous film Chasing Amy was better and Chris Walken’s first Prophecy movie is both more serious and funny at the same time—but its great polemic.

Agnostics of the world should unite around this film. It shows the church service to be dull and mostly irrelevant. It shows the Catholic Cardinal (played by known religion hater George Carlin in a bit of inspired casting) to be out of touch and arrogant. His institution has to run the way he wants even if it means the end of the world. It points out that angels are often the hitmen of God and, if this film is any indication, they enjoyed their work just a bit too much. It implicitly points out that the Old Testament must have been training for not only a jealous god, but a pretty vengeful and childish one. His idea of God being a playful child (Played by Alanis Morrisette) who doesn’t quite care or know about the implications of life is quite logical considering our most famous Biblical sourcebook.

It also picks apart well known biblical contradictions—the missing periods in Christ’s life or why a loving all powerful god needs angel hitmen—and the general mystical nuttiness of it all religions.

I applaud your courage Kevin, but don’t stop there. It’s all in the film. You see the problem, the fear, the stupidity, the cowardice that religion forces upon us. Be strong and throw away childish religious things. You can join us agnostics over at the Strip Club, or reading those godforsaken Harry Potter books or listening to sexually ambigious musicians. We don’t know everything nor do we claim to “talk” through our prayers to somebody who does, but we’re not afraid to live our lives one day at a time and take it for what is. Afterall, if there’s no heaven, then you have to change things here. Best of all, to paraphrase Woody Allen, there won’t be any religious sides to hate anymore. You have to think through every situation as opposed to relying on a book that was probably outmoded and outdated the day it is published.

So, go watch Dogma and happily joyfully lose your religion.








Recommended:
Yes