Send in the Clowns
Mar 26 '00 (Updated Apr 05 '00)
They’re the ones that make you snort popcorn through your nose, the ones that make you do spit-takes with Coke, the ones that send you to the emergency room with a busted gut.
Humans have been laughing since the day Ugg the Cro-Magnon tripped over a mastodon bone, but it wasn’t until movies came along that our race refined the art of joke-telling. When moving pictures combined with punch lines, it was one of the best things to come along in centuries. Today, we have the added benefit of the rewind button so we can listen to Abbott and Costello do their “Who’s on Third?” riff over and over until we beg for mercy.
Film has brought laughter into our living room—taking it out of the bedroom, in some cases—and made us all richer, wiser and a bit bouncier. This globe spins on a little more even keel thanks to cinema clowns and we should all praise the heavens with giggles for giving us some of our most gifted buffoons (Keaton, Lloyd, Chaplin, Laurel, Hardy, Marx, Marx and Marx were the pioneers; Carrey, Murphy, Martin and Mr. Bean are their offspring). Because of them, we can walk around with smiles plastered on our faces—along with a wacky pair of Groucho Marx glasses.
Sometimes films fire laughs at us with machine-gun punch lines, sometimes they take their time building slowly with smart satire—movies you think about for days, weeks, years; movies that make you burst out in uncontrolled chuckles when a great line suddenly pops into your brain; movies that redeem all the pain and misery of this mortal coil.
Great film comedies depend primarily on two ingredients: script and comic delivery. You can give William Shatner a funny script and fail to produce one single (intentional) giggle. Likewise, you can give Robin Williams a dull script and silence will blanket the theater. But when funny words and funny actors gel, the result is pure ha-ha bliss.
Here then, is my list of personal comedy favorites (in ascending order; directors are in parentheses). Take these films…please.
10. Some Like It Hot (1959, Billy Wilder)
Jack Lemmon, Tony Curtis and Marilyn Monroe all wear dresses and it’s a toss-up who looks better. America was shocked into scandalous laughter with this gender-bender. It may seem tame by today’s standards, but I still think it’s a hoot-and-a-half. Besides, it’s got the funniest closing line ever (not the one below—I wouldn’t dare spoil it for you).
“Look at how she moves! That's just like jello on springs!”
9. His Girl Friday (1940, Howard Hawks)
I will give a prize to anyone who claims they caught every single line of dialogue the first time they watched this version of The Front Page. Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell are at their rapid-fire, staccato dialogue best in this screwball comedy of love, newspapers and death row.
“Walter, you're wonderful, in a loathsome sort of way.”
8. Joe vs. the Volcano (1990, John Patrick Shanley)
The world is divided into two camps: those who love this Tom Hanks-Meg Ryan romantic comedy and those who don’t. I happen to love it. DEEPLY love it. It may not be as laugh-filled as the rest on this list, but it’s a great, old-fashioned Capra-esque satire about the dreams of the working man—not to mention, the value of orange soda and watertight luggage.
“I’m not arguing that with you!”
7. Sleeper/Crimes and Misdemeanors (1973/1989, Woody Allen)
My wife can’t stand Allen’s chattering neurosis. I can’t stand the fact that she can’t stand him. I am forced to watch the Wood-ster in the privacy of my basement. Either that, or I wait until my dear spouse goes away on vacation and I can go out and rent everything I’ve missed since her last trip. I picked two of his very best—one from the early slapstick era, one from the recent intellectual period.
S: “When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said ‘rabies.’ She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a great dane.”
C & M: “If it bends, it’s funny; if it breaks, it’s not”
6. Hail the Conquering Hero (1944, Preston Sturges)
All hail Sturges! Steven Spielberg admires him and so do I. Today, Sturges is largely overlooked. His other great films include Sullivan’s Travels, Miracle at Morgan’s Creek and Unfaithfully Yours. I’m partial to Hero because it pokes such loving fun at small-town America and its desperate need for a civic idol.
“It is with a sense of deep humidity that I hail this conquering hero.”
5. To Be or Not to Be (1942, Ernst Lubitsch)
This was Carole Lombard’s last film (she was killed in a plane crash shortly after filming was completed) and she is fiercely funny as the wife of a jealous hambone of an actor. Benny, as the ego-laden husband, matches her wit-for-wit. It’s all played out in Nazi-occupied Warsaw as the theater troupe helps the Allied cause. Shakespeare and Hitler were never funnier!
“That great, great Polish actor Joseph Tura—surely you’ve heard of him?”
4. Duck Soup (1933, Leo McCarey)
I love the Marx Brothers for one reason and one reason alone: Groucho’s marvelous one-liners. Here, the entire script consists of one-liners. The Brothers M. set up shop in the kingdom of Freedonia. Hilarity rules supreme.
“I got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.”
3. Modern Times/ The Great Dictator (1936/1940, Charles Chaplin)
Chaplin was a genius, pure and simple. He could make us laugh (The Gold Rush), he could make us cry (City Lights), he could make us think (every movie). I couldn’t pick just one as his best. I love Modern Times for the automated lunchtime eating machine; I love The Great Dictator for the dance with the inflated globe.
“[Chaplin’s silence was golden]”
2. Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1974, Terry Gilliam)
If you don’t “get” Monty Python, then you’re un-American. Uh, make that un-British. The lads—Gilliam, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Graham Chapman, Terry Jones and Michael Palin—sometimes hit and sometimes missed. Here, they definitely hit. The poster for this cross-eyed look at the Arthurian legend says “It makes Ben-Hur look like an epic.” I saw this movie in 1975. I’ve been laughing ever since.
“Someday, son, all this will be yours.”
“What? The curtains?”
1. The Princess Bride (1987, Rob Reiner)
I dare you to knock the smile off my face! This is not only my favorite comedy, it’s also one of my favorite movies. Oh, sure, it’s no Schindler’s List, but then again it might just be the Citizen Kane of all-around feel-good movies. William Goldman’s script (from his own novel) is a loving tribute to swashbuckling, fairy tales and “wuv, twu wuv.” In our household, it’s the most-quoted movie of all time.
(I can’t limit myself to just one pick)
“INCONCEIVABLE!”
“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
“Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the king all those years?”
“The King's stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it?”
“Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
And finally, my list of I-CAN’T-BELIEVE-I-LOVED-IT COMEDIES:
Tommy Boy/Liar Liar/Mouse Hunt/Airplane!
I’ll leave you with these four modern classics as an example of the value of an open mind. When I sat down to watch these, I wasn’t expecting much beyond sophomoric humor. Boy, was I wrong! Each of these movies may have flaws, but they also have lots and lots of guffaws….
(Exit laughing)
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Member: David Abrams
Location: Butte, Montana
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One can never have too many books, only too little time in which to read.
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