The mirror doesn’t lie.

I am fat.

Fat. Fat. Fat.

Can’t-zip-up-the-jeans-without-lying-down-and-sucking-in-my-gut fat.

I think there’s more to this than “big bones” fat.

Chubby elbows fat.

There’s more of me goin’ than comin’ fat.

Time to visit the “fat clothing closet” fat.

That picture on my Epinions Public Profile Page is waaaaaaaaaay out of date fat.

This seems to be a little more than the extra 10 pounds I am always trying to lose fat.

This is “35 pounds overweight” fat.

Sigh…

A check of my rear end in the mirror confirmed that this was one weight loss dilemma I couldn’t face alone. Nope; it was time to break out the big guns.

It was time to rejoin Weight Watchers.

Why?

It’s simple: It works.

Weight Watchers offers a behaviorally-focused program of healthy weight loss supervision, exercise and emotional support that takes off the pounds without resorting to pills, weird food, plastic body wraps, protein shakes, steroids or anything else you’ve seen on TV, espied on a telephone pole, read about in a magazine or been tempted to purchase over the internet.

After all, 25 million overweight men, women and children can’t be wrong.

And I have joined them.

A little about Weight Watchers

According to its website, Weight Watchers has helped millions of people lose weight over the course of its 38-year history. 35,000 meetings are held weekly in some thirty countries around the world. About 20,000 of these groups meet in the United States alone. At any given time, roughly three-quarters of a million US residents attend at least one meeting weekly.

Weight Watchers was the brainchild of Jean Nidetch, a NYC Housewife with a serious Jones for Cookies and a closet full of size 16 clothes to show for it. In 1961 (after years of every trying every fad diet in the book), Nidetch decided to tackle a structured weight loss program and managed to shed 20 pounds from her 214 lb. frame—but like most of us found her determination to go the distance waning. Instead of throwing in the towel she called a few of her friends together and they met weekly at her home, weighing in together and offering mutual support as they all attempted to lose weight.

Candid confessions about food obsessions are apparently good for the soul because for every one of these ladies, the program worked. Word spread and the little group soon outgrew her small apartment.

Nidetch, accurately sensing a need for this type of support program, decided to incorporate under the Weight Watchers name; and in 1963 offered her first open meeting to the public. She expected 40 people to attend.

400 showed up.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

The Evolution

During its early years, the cornerstone of Weight Watchers was its strong emotional component. A group who could identify with and offer anecdotal insight into the problems associated with obesity was its main element.

Calorie counting was, of course, a major part of the weight loss program—with the nutritional element loosely cobbled together, but relatively healthy. Low-fat substitutes for (banned) high-fat foods were offered. (Does anyone besides me remember eating open-faced tuna fish and mustard sandwiches?) Exercise was barely mentioned, and only then as an afterthought.

The real drawback to the program however was that Weight Watchers helped people take weight off—but it didn’t address keeping it off. It helped people find low-fat substitutes for high-fat foods—but it never really addressed what to do after the magic “goal” number finally popped up on the scale.

It’s a lot different today

During its 38 years in the business, the company has grown by leaps and bounds—so much so that in 1978 the company was purchased by Pittsburgh’s HJ Heinz group.

Exercise as an integral part of healthy weight loss was ultimately factored into the program. It added a nutritional research and development lab. Calorie counting was discarded, and in 1997 the 1-2-3 Success Program (Today called "Winning Points”) was introduced.

Most significant of all, a behavioral change element was introduced to help participants understand and incorporate both long and short-term diet, exercise and nutritional strategies in their lives—with the goal of both losing weight and maintaining goal weight for a lifetime.

Now clearly I am not the poster child for the Weight Watchers program of long-term behavioral change—and neither are the great majority of folks who lose the weight only to backslide so far that we find ourselves back at weekly Weight Watchers meetings doing it all over again. As members, we all recognize two things:

Losing weight is hard.

Keeping it off is harder still.

Weight Watchers was a pioneer in the area of incorporating key psychiatric and behavioral components critical to successful, long-term weight maintenance—and it is constantly tweaking its program offerings in an attempt to better serve its members. The company deserves a great deal of credit for attempting to put itself out of business—although human behavior pretty much guarantees that Weight Watchers will be around for a long time to come.

The Weight Watchers of Today

Despite the changes in the Weight Watchers diet program itself, the meetings are still pretty much the same.

New participants are asked to come in about 30 minutes before the start of the first meeting to sign up and (gasp) weigh in.

There are several dues-based membership programs offered to suit different needs and budgets. There is the “Pay as You Go” program, with the cost of weekly meetings around $13 per session. A one-time $40 enrollment fee—usually cut in half during promotional periods (which seems to be most of the time) is also charged before the first meeting.

There are also a variety of prepaid programs that run the gamut from three to six months in length. These programs can cut the price of weekly membership dues by as much as $3.00/meeting. They are an excellent value for those who can afford the upfront cost—and are confident they will stick with the program for at least 3 months.

The final option is the one I chose: I let my insurance company foot part of the bill.

Many health insurers offer their subscribers a break on attendance at Weight Watchers meetings—provided the member pre-enrolls for a set number of weeks. Enrollment rules vary (check with your benefits administrator or health insurance carrier for more details) but my insurer paid my enrollment fee and brought the cost of my program down to $11.50/meeting for 12 weeks. With 35 pounds to lose I knew I would be attending for at least 12 weeks(!) so I was glad to get the little break.

After the “payment details” are taken care of, the new member heads to the (dreaded) scale for the first “weigh-in”. If you are worried that everyone in the hall will discover what you actually weigh, fear not: all results at the scale are kept confidential. No one but you needs to know your present weight—or the number of pounds you need to lose.

Goal weights are factored at the scale using the Body Mass Index formula, which takes into account height, weight, age, body structure and gender.

The goal of Weight Watchers is to get the newbie into the healthy weight range of the BMI—so don’t be surprised if WW’s “healthy weight” range is different than what you may have thought.

The scale attendant will also note on the weekly weigh-in form, your first in a series of incremental “weight goals”—a 10% reduction of your body weight. The idea is to give folks a reasonable target to shoot for—and more motivation to keep attending and working toward that magic “ultimate goal number” on the scale. She (most—but not all—of the meeting leaders, receptionists and members are female) will also assign you a recommended number of daily “Winning Points”—the backbone of the Weight Watchers weight loss program. She will also provide you with a handy paper “Points” calculator to help you stay on program. (More on Points and Calculators later.)

In addition to the weekly weigh-in form (which charts the member’s weekly progress) the first of a number of pamphlets is handed out. This first booklet provides an overview of the “Winning Points” program, outlines how to count Points and offers the first in a series of behavior change tools designed to help people start effecting long-term change of their diet and lifestyle habits. A weekly food diary is also provided to help people not only keep track of their daily Points allotment but to help the member identify areas in their diet that could be changed for the better.

Future booklets cover weekly themes such as exercise, meal planning, the challenges of eating out, cooking for a family while dieting, food and emotional triggers, etc.

There is no Point (pun intended) in being anything less than brutally honest about food choices when keeping a food diary—The scale certainly isn’t fooled; and ultimately neither are you—so it’s best to write everything down. Yep, even those broken cookies discovered at the bottom of the almost-empty bag you found in the back of the kitchen cabinet and decided to eat because you couldn’t bear to throw them away. Despite any fervent wishes to the contrary, even crumbs have calories--and Points.

A Note About Points

Most Weight Watchers members love the Points method of dieting—and with good reason: It is simple to follow—and no food is forbidden, provided you stay within your recommended range of Points. I have been able to eat reasonably sized portions of candy, pizza, mashed potatoes, peanut butter and McDonald's burgers & fries, courtesy of a little planning and the Points weight loss plan.

How does the Points program work?

Every food, no matter what, has an assigned Points value based on the number of calories, fat and fiber in a given serving. Hundreds of values for the most common foods (including my pizza) are found in the introductory program booklet. For foods not found in the book (such as prepared meals, frozen foods, etc.) the Points Calculator can give members an exact number of Points for a given serving of any food. Since most packaged foods—from a can of baked beans to a frozen TV dinner—are required to list nutritional information on their labels, calculating the Points value of any food is simple; which (sniff) reduces the possibility of "inadvertent" cheating. There’s no sense in listing “10 Points” for a Lean Cuisine Dinner in your food diary, when the 38 Points in a Hungry Man Meatloaf Dinner is what you have actually consumed!

The Bottom Line: The “Points” program forces members to think about what they are eating, as well as to plan ahead. It also helps members to consider the consequences of the little white lies we sometimes tell ourselves in the days prior to weighing in at the scale—which, unfortunately, never fibs.

At your first weigh-in the attendant will assign you the number of Points you use in a given day (based on current weight and factors within the BMI) while still ensuring a gradual, healthy weight loss of 1-2 pounds each week. As your weight (hopefully) decreases, so do the number of points you can consume in a day.

Another nice feature of the Points Program is that leftover Points from any given day in a week can be accumulated (or “banked”) weekly and used for special occasions or little treats. If for example, I find myself invited to a wedding or barbecue, I can shave a few extra Points off my daily diet total and use the banked Points to eat stuff I normally might not get to have while still staying in my weight loss “safe zone”. Unfortunately, Points not used in a given week have to be discarded—if a member finds herself in a “food jam”, she cannot borrow against future Points from the next week or fall back on unused Points from 3 weeks ago.

Rats

Further along in the program, physical activity of just about any kind will reward the user with extra Points—encouraging sedentary people to get up and do something, even if it’s something as simple as taking a walk.

Well then, why bother attending meetings at all?

Many people (including me) begin to think it’s okay to slack off on attendance at weekly meetings because after all “I have the Points Calculator. I can keep my own food diary. I am in control. I can do this on my own for free.”

Oh no you can’t. At least not most of you.

The support of others who share their own successes and failures was, is, and always will be the bedrock of the Weight Watchers program. A new component of the program is the “8 Steps to Healthy Weight Loss” modeled in part, I am sure, after AA’s 12-Step Program. Each weekly meeting provides a variety of information and insight relating to such things as avoiding diet traps, the importance of healthy nutritional choice when losing weight, the critical role that physical activity plays in overall health and strategies to help develop a lifetime of healthy, balanced eating habits.

Most of us also need to hear that the little weight demons we keep locked inside ourselves are not unique—and that by giving voice to them, we'll discover that we are not alone.

Just as in AA, members can attend as many meetings as they need during a week at no charge. The only requirement to maintaining membership is that all members must weigh in weekly. For those who don’t feel like they need to stay and hear the 45-minute program lecture, Express Meetings are also available. There, members can step up to the scale, get the good (or bad) news, get a few quick motivational pats on the back—and go.

But for most of us, hearing words of wisdom from a Weight Watchers Group Leader (all Group Leaders are current Weight Watchers “Lifetime” Members who have maintained their goal weight for a specific period of time) is critical to keeping “on program”.

Fellow members are also encouraged to share their successes—and struggles—during the course of the meeting. Recipes are exchanged. Behavioral tricks are provided. Support is offered. Questions are answered. Souls are laid bare. All of these things truly do make a difference in terms of success and failure.

An addict in recovery will tell you that he is only one slip away from addiction, and that “doing the program”—the whole program—is the only thing keeping him/her on the “straight and narrow”.

An addict in recovery also knows he is powerless in the face of his addiction. An addict understands that it is important to take it one day at a time.

Anyone with a weight problem—and many of us have food addictions as powerful and all-consuming as any drug dependency—could easily say the same.

Attend the meetings as often as you need. Don’t think you can go it alone because, chances are, you can’t.

The program also offers a new and interesting component—Sponsors. I am not sure exactly what formal sponsorship entails—but those interested in having someone to talk to if problems become overwhelming have the option to receive (or make) supportive phone calls. Ask your Group Leader for more information.

Weight Watchers recognizes that people overeat (and gain weight), for a variety of psychological and behavioral reasons—many of us use food as a crutch or as a form of “self-medication”; we use eating to punish ourselves or others; we overeat to try and recapture positive feelings or as a “reward” for “good” behavior—the reasons are endless, and are as unique as the people who go to the weekly meetings. You will hear it all if you attend—and chances are almost 100% you will rediscover in someone else the same thoughts and experiences you yourself have grappled with.

And like AA, members who stay “on program” and attend meetings get little rewards for doing so. Gold Stars for weight loss. Ribbons for hitting key goals. Silly? You only think so until such time as you receive your first reward. I kept my 20-pound weight ribbon tacked on my 'fridge for months after I stopped attending meetings—because it was a tangible reminder of all the hard work that led up to that day of accomplishment.

Go to the meetings. You’ll be glad you did. They can be tremendously inspirational.

A Word About Cheating, Backsliding…and Failure

Weight Watchers acknowledges that people are not perfect. Human behavior almost guarantees a predisposition to falter during the course of the program. Unlike an addiction to alcohol or drugs, folks with a food addiction can’t just stop eating. They need to learn to manage food—and some days are easier than others.

People are encouraged to continue on in the program despite weight gain because there is always a chance to get back on track. Members are encouraged to examine a misstep, identify its roots, develop future coping strategies, shed the guilt—and get back on program.

As for my own struggle (and overeating is one foe I have battled all my life) I know that even if I have gained back all the weight I worked so hard to lose 3 years ago, I still have a chance to be a lifelong success this time.

I don’t blame Weight Watchers for the extra weight; I don’t blame others, and (most important) I don’t blame myself. I just know I need to go back—and that the possibilities for lifelong success begin with taking that first step.

I am ready.

I hope you are too.

Thanks for reading.

Cyndi

PS—I hope that anyone who decides to attend Weight Watchers (for whatever reason) leaves a comment letting me know how you are doing. I’ll try and stop back weekly to let you know via this review how I am doing too.

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Update: Week 2 – May 30, 2001

This is the first day, in about 18 months, that I have actually tucked my turtleneck into the waist of my jeans. It seems like my tummy is a little flatter, my hips a little smaller. I don’t dare look at my fanny. It can’t be much different.

I doubt I actually look much better than I did last week, but I certainly feel like I look better.

I stuck with the program and am pleased to report I stayed within my Points for the week—no cheating; despite the fact that around Day 3, I thought I was going to lose my mind from the sudden reduction of caloric intake.

I went to bed instead—and woke up the next day feeling like I had made it over a critical hump. Although things have not been easy since that day, they have been more manageable.

This week, I lost 2 ¾ pounds. I am pleased (obviously) but a little discouraged. I truly expected the weight loss to be more substantial. I mean, I didn’t cheat. I worked hard. I feel I was entitled to lose at least 5 pounds. Even if 3 of those pounds were nothing but excess water, it is my water and I should have lost it.

Phooey.

I suddenly realize that I am smack in the middle of a one-woman “Pity Party”. Before I leave the meeting, I ask Leona, the Group Leader, for a pat on the back.

She gives me a little hug instead.

I go home. I go to the ‘fridge. I get out two, one-pound packages of butter. I hold one in each hand. Hmmm…2 pounds is a lot. I rummage around until I find a 12 oz. can of soda. I hold that too. 2 ¾ pounds feels pretty hefty.

I realize that I have lost 8% of the weight I need to lose.

This makes me feel better.

I eat my breakfast. I stay within my points. I resolve to look for a bigger weight loss next week.

I vow not to be discouraged.

I keep my turtleneck tucked in.

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Update: Week 3 – June 8, 2001

This has been an interesting and inspiring week for me.

First, the good news: I lost 5 ½ pounds this week for a total of 8 ¼ pounds. Needless to say, the water weight I was looking to shed last week has finally come off. I also want to report that I stuck completely to the program; as you might observe, I feel pretty good about the results.

The scale is a great motivator for those of us trying to lose weight.

This week, exercise is being introduced into my program. To commemorate this momentous occasion, I bought a pair of inline skates—and can now be seen tooling around the neighborhood looking like a total fool. Let me recommend this as a great form of physical activity. It’s fun--and believe me: you really feel like you have exercised the next day. My goal is 20 minutes of skating per day—and if I don’t break my neck I think this is how I will be spending my mornings.

As I mentioned, meetings can be tremendously inspiring—humbling too. A case in point:

A woman with a great deal of weight to lose has been attending for several weeks now. She has been sticking with meeting attendance—but not with the diet. Up until this week she had been experiencing slight losses and slight gains. She freely admitted that she wasn’t as strict as she could be with the diet but that she was trying hard. We all offered as much encouragement as we could.

Something she heard during last week’s meeting must have stuck with her through the past week however. She came in and proudly reported that she lost 20 pounds. Even for a very heavy person, this is a lot of weight to lose.

She was beaming.

So were we all.

I am looking forward to seeing her next week.

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Update: Week 4 – June 14, 2001

Cheating, I am told, is not relative. One either does or one doesn’t. There are no degrees of deception.

I guess I would try to make a weak case for intent in my particular case.

See, there was this box of fancy, locally made and very expensive chocolate truffles. There I was, minding my own business trying to stay on program, when out from the cabinet and into my hands leapt this box of chocolates.

What could I do?

I ate four of them.

Now I will grant you that the chocolates didn’t dance into my mouth by accident. Thank goodness I had banked Points for the week sitting in my diet account—because the 8 points worth of sin woofed down in a moment of extreme weakness were within my weekly range (barely).

So was it cheating or was it not? In the strict definition I suppose it wasn’t.

But here I am back to the term “intent”.

I truly didn’t “intend” to cheat—my only motive was to satisfy some weird psychic itch by pigging out—but if I am honest with myself I would have to admit, this whole episode with the chocolates reeked of a destructive sort of purpose, no matter how many points I had on account to cover the lapse.

I thought Leona, my group leader must have been peeking in my house the night of the infamous chocolate episode. During the meeting this week she mentioned the number of people who crucify others and themselves via the use of the fork.

Oops. I think that’s me.

Weight Watchers teaches you to think like this. It compels you to examine things dispassionately and look to the root cause of your overeating.

To make a long story short, I decided that this lapse, although small, was in fact a lapse with its roots in being stressed and cranky and tired—and this type of moody need for food is something I have always needed to watch and apparently still do.

And being human, I will always be prone to the occasional loss of self-control. It happens sometimes, and it isn’t the end of the world.

I got back on program the next day and stuck to it—because there are in fact “degrees” and “intent” when it comes to learning to eat sensibly.

The scale was generous, even within the context of my lapse. I lost 3 ¾ pounds for a total of 12 pounds lost thus far.

For once, the scale has forgiven me—and more important, I have forgiven myself and moved on.

This is the week I get another paper calculator, this one for exercise. Based on the amount of activity one undertakes in a particular day, one can find the proper number of points to add to one’s daily total of Points.

My skating sojourn is going well. I don’t feel anymore like someone has been hitting me on the legs with a stick when I get up in the morning. I get extra points for the activity—which is a good thing because I have crossed over into a different (and lower) Points level with this week’s weight loss.

I also got a 10-pound weight loss ribbon for the work accomplished thus far.

Pretty good, wouldn’t you say?
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Update: Week 5 -- June 21, 2001

If you are a parent, June is a terrible month to diet. You are expected to appear at the scholastic opening of an envelope—and of course, said envelope serves lots of high calorie food you have no business looking at, never mind consuming.

This could be characterized as a week of constant challenges: Fathers Day breakfast, dinner out at a local seafood restaurant, 2 School picnics, a barbecue, kindergarten breakfast/orientation; you get the drift. I was living in the middle of a food minefield.

I am happy to say that I was up for the challenge.

Weight Watchers afforded me the chance to keep on the straight and narrow without feeling miserable and deprived.

I also had to contribute to continued weight loss success though.

I found myself looking for low calorie options while dining out. I am pretty proud of myself for that. Weight Watchers teaches its members that one can still get pleasure out of eating without going hog wild. Instead of fried clams (mmmm….clams) I chose broiled scallops. Instead of Potato Salad, I chose salsa. Instead of a bagel, I chose fruit.

In other words: if I can do it, you can too.

The reward for all the hard work of the past week? 2 ½ pounds, for a total of 14 ½ pounds lost in the last 4 weeks.

The results are becoming apparent in many ways. Here are some observations after a full month in the program

I feel better.

Eating healthy has given me more energy and stamina. Overall, I just feel peppier. The Weight Watchers program stresses the overall health benefits of a nutritionally sound diet. I am here to say that the company is right.

I look better.

Instead of furtively peering into my closet looking for the biggest size I can find, I have discovered that I have dropped a dress size. Belts that haven’t fit in years suddenly slide perfectly around my waist. A pair of shorts I haven’t worn in 5 years slips over my hips and zips up without a struggle.

And best of all, I have actually worn a swimsuit out in public for the first time in 5 years. I am not perfect but I am a far cry from the “Shamu” I was a month ago. Which leads me to the most important change of all:

I feel better about myself

Being a success at anything is bound to improve one’s confidence. I can say without hesitation that the tools I have been given by following the Weight Watchers Program have helped me to feel that I have a handle on my overeating for the first time in a long time. Gaining control over a previously out of control appetite can do that for you. Dieting is becoming less of a struggle and more of a way of life.

Oh, and I like how I look too!

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Update: Week 6 -- June 30, 2001

Grumble…

Stomp…Stomp…Stomp…

Bah!

Well, let’s just say it’s been an educational week for me. A week of biological rediscovery, so to speak.

In every woman’s life, within every female’s body there lurks a ticking bomb. With each waxing and waning of the moon, the nasty gremlin called “Hormones” rears its ugly little head. If you are a woman of course, this is not exactly “newsflash” material. For you gentlemen reading along, allow me to edify and enlighten you.

[Note: Bewildered men may recognize many of these gender-specific, biological manifestations, especially if they have the bad fortune of living with any woman experiencing them.

Sorry guys.]

Each month, there is usually a period of days where a woman experiences one or more of the following symptoms, all relating to hormonal changes in the body:

1. The “hungry horrors”
2. The “Weepies”
3. The “Screamin’ Meemies”
4. Water weight gain

I’ll bet that if you are of the feminine persuasion, you could think of more—please feel free to leave a comment and I will include it in any future updates—but let’s just deal with these, as they are the major dieting saboteurs for many women.

The point is that there are definite “nature factors” at play when someone, like me for example, does everything right during a diet week—and still gains weight.

So onto the bad news: Despite sticking faithfully to the program I gained ¼ pound this week, for a total of 14 ¼ pounds lost. This quarter pound—and probably another 2 or three pounds—is all retained fluid that will disappear in the next several days as mysteriously as it appeared in the first place.

I repeat: Bah!

I try to view this whole thing pretty philosophically—but symptoms 2 & 3 don’t make it easy.

Symptom #1 has been pretty bad as well—which means I have to search frantically for large quantities of low Point foods to feel satisfied--while still staying within my points. One meal consisted of:

2 Fat free hotdogs smothered in hot salsa (2 Points)
2 low fat rolls (2 Points)
1 oz. fat free potato chips (1 Point)
1 green salad with ¼ cup fat-free blue cheese dressing (1 Point)
[Note: Creamy fat free dressings—there’s no other way to say this--suck]
1 Huge glass of iced diet ginger ale
1 big, fat-filled, and totally heavenly, chocolate chip cookie (4 Points)

This all-star classic “Junk Meal” is offered as a public service to anyone who experiences junk food cravings (and really, how much “junkier” can one meal get?) and needs relief from all the healthy stuff they are eating the rest of the month.

Your body won’t be fooled—but your mind will and in dieting, mental satisfaction is as critical as physical gratification when attempting to lose weight.

By the way, this may not be your ideal “junk meal”; but it is important to figure out your own personal low-Points version of “sin”—in advance. “Be Prepared” isn’t just the motto for the Boy Scouts. Smart dieters, according to Weight Watchers, have strategies laid out in anticipation of problem times.

Coincidentally enough, this week’s handout at the meeting deals with “food and satisfaction”. We all have one food that satisfies us better than any other (Mine is fat, fat and more fat); a quick quiz helps to determine yours—and offers ways to use the Points program to feel more “satisfied” while dieting.

I doubt by the way that Weight Watchers would advocate for the nutritional efficacy of my junk food meal—but, hey; ya’ gotta do, what ya’ gotta do.

On to next week—and a bigger weight loss.

If I can make it through this week without any major missteps, I can make it through anything--and so can you.

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Update: Weeks 7, 8 & 9 -- July 19, 2001

Well, ok, ok. I have been lazy about updates—but it hasn’t been because I have been idle. A lot has happened in the last 3 weeks, some good stuff and some not-so-good stuff. I have also learned an important lesson.

I have learned that meeting attendance is critical to my success.

We had no meeting on July 4th. I did great the week prior, stayed on program up to July 3rd…and fell totally apart the week my regularly scheduled meeting was cancelled.

I don’t think I am unique when I say that the weekly inspiration packed into a 45 minute meeting gives me a quick motivational blast out of the starting gate. Sometimes I look forward to Wednesdays…Sometimes I dread Wednesdays…But I always feel like my Wednesday meeting days afford me a clean slate, a new beginning. Wednesday is my day to erase prior successes and setbacks and just concentrate on getting to the next meeting a little bit lighter.

Works for me.

Because I would be remiss in glossing over my setbacks when I have been so positive about my successes it’s important for me to tell you that I had several of them.

In the course of a week I totally deep-sixed my dieting goals. I mean I ate everything and I ate those things for all the wrong reasons and I have no other explanation for doing so than I just felt like it.

After much reflection, I have decided that I have come to the end of my “dieting honeymoon”—that period wherein one basks regularly in the halcyon glow of success and starts confronting the reality that the Weight Watchers program teaches tools for a lifetime of change. Knowing that the diet and behavioral changes I have made over the last several weeks need to be permanently implemented is more than a little scary.

I worry that I won’t be able to do it.

I worry that I will start to backslide.

I worry that I don’t have the strength to change.

I’ll be thinking a lot about these things over the next several weeks—but for the moment I will concentrate on the work of getting to my goal.

I have accomplished a lot over the last few weeks—despite the setbacks.

Over the last 3 weeks I have lost a total of 6 ¾ pounds for a total weight loss of 20 ¾ pounds.

I have achieved the first of my weight goals—that of a 10% loss of body weight. I get a snazzy WW keychain.

I am incredibly pleased with myself for getting this far.

Leona, the group leader sets a new goal at the scale for me—and this new goal is my ultimate goal.

When I first started on the program, a goal of 131 pounds seemed distant and unreachable.

For the very first time, I feel like I will actually get there.

This week’s handout, entitled “Tools for Living”, a booklet outlining motivational and behavioral strategies seems tailor-made to acknowledge and address the mix of feelings I have experienced in the last several weeks. It had one quote in it that I especially liked. I have copied it and placed it on my refrigerator.

“It’s not a case of “Willpower”—it’s a case of “Want” Power."

I am going on vacation. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that I am already thinking about the challenges a week of R&R presents.

See ya’ in 2 weeks.

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Update: Weeks 10 & 11-- August 3, 2001

Random thoughts while waiting to face the music at the scale:

Tan flab looks 100 times better than pale flab.

I came home from vacation with what has to be the best tan of my life—and despite my terrible behavior of the last week, my thighs look like a million bucks.

The Ladies room at Weight Watchers is a busy place on “weigh-in day”

Those of us looking for a loss at the scale invariably stop by “the facilities” in order to get rid of that most recent cup of coffee or that last sip of water before climbing onto the scale. One of the WW attendants once told me that a cup of tea weighs 8 ounces.

Most of us want credit for every last bit of weight lost—and we don’t want an additional ounce to show up if this is the week that we have been, shall we say, less than scrupulously religious about staying “on program”.

Silly? If that is the case, there are a lot of goofy Weight Watchers attendees out there, because there is always a line for the restroom prior to the meeting.

How much does a pair of ankle socks weigh anyway?

Because of Public Health laws, Weight Watchers doesn’t allow members to step on the scale in bare feet—It’s shoes or hosiery only.

I once tried to step on the scale using an 8 ½ by 11” piece of paper as a substitute for socks because I thought that a sheet of paper would weigh even less than cotton anklets, but I wasn’t allowed.

It’s my guess that if we could all strip naked (the better to get a maximum loss on the scale) there would be a line of ladies baring it all in the name of maximum weight loss.

I know that those of you who don’t attend WW believe this, but I believe this to be an ironclad fact. Members remove shoes, sweaters, rings, keys, handbags, false teeth (I was only kidding about that last one; I haven't seen anyone doff their teeth--yet)—you name it; off it comes.

If it’s summer, members find the lightest (and I don’t mean color) clothing they can scrounge up in order to maximize a loss at the scale. It’s a fact. I have a special pair of feather light “weigh-in day shorts” that I wear every Wednesday. Heaven only knows what I will do about clothing if I am still attending meetings in the Winter.

No Matter How Much Weight I Lose I Still Look My Age.

For some screwy reason, I assumed that the more weight I lost, the younger I would look. Sadly, this is not the case. I still have the same schlumpy 44 year old body I had before I lost the weight.

Perhaps it will be different for you. Please let me know your secret if this is the case.

Now on to the good news/bad news report:

The Bad News was that I apparently forgot to pack enough of the “Want Power” I mentioned in my last update—at least not enough to tide me over during my week in the sun.

I gained ¾ of a pound for a total weight loss of an even 20 lbs.

Now the good news of course, is that it could have been much, much worse. Believe it or not I stuck to the program with a zeal that would have done my fellow members proud…

But on day 5 of my vacation, I rediscovered my love affair with butter—and, oh, how I missed it.

I also rekindled my relationship with homemade chocolate chip cookies.

You can do a lot of damage with butter and homemade chocolate chip cookies.

But as I said, it could have been so much worse—and I try to take comfort in the fact that I did try hard before falling off the wagon—and that as soon as I got back home I got back on.

[Note to self: Pack an ample supply of self- control (and don’t forget the sunscreen) the next time someone mentions the word “vacation”].

Leona, our group leader, ended the meeting with a funny poem. I offer it for your consideration the next time you grouse about “losing only one pound”.

The author is unknown.

Only a Pound

Hello, do you know me?

If you don't you should. I'm a pound of fat, and
I'm the happiest pound of fat you would ever want to meet.

Want to know why?
It's because no one ever wants to lose me; I'm ONLY ONE POUND, just a pound.

Everyone wants to lose three pounds, five pounds, or
fifteen pounds, but never only one, so I just stick around and happily keep you fat.

Then I add to myself ever so slyly so that you never seem to notice it, that is until I've grown to ten, twenty or even more pounds in weight.

Yes, it's fun being ONLY ONE POUND of fat, left to do as I please.

So, when you weigh in, keep right on saying, "Oh, I only lost one pound." (as if that were such a terrible thing!)

For you see, if you do this you'll encourage others
to keep me around because they will think I'm not worth losing. And I love being around you--your arms, your legs, your chin, your hips and every part of you.

Happy Days!!! After all, I'm ONLY ONE POUND of fat!!!

See ya’ next week. ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Update: Week 12--August 13, 2001

In the land of dieting, there are easy weeks, there are the disastrous weeks—and then there are the weeks that one simply grinds out a weight loss. Such was the case for me this past week.

For the record, it’s hard to be motivated when one loses a small amount of weight. All of the virtuous conduct that went into the week prior to stepping on the scale seems to fly out the window, making it easy get discouraged.

This week I lost ¼ pound for a total weight loss of 20 ¼ pounds to date.

Yes, I am thankful I didn’t gain weight. Without a doubt I am quite pleased I didn’t stay the same.

I am just irritated that 7 days of effort yielded such minuscule results.

Weeks like this make it hard to stay on track—but I am, even though it has not been easy.

I am trying hard to remember that I have come too far to quit now.

This is the time in dieting called “The Plateau”. The closer one comes to goal weight, the longer it takes to lose those last pesky pounds.

It’s easy to slack off because it’s easy to rationalize a slip. After all, I look and feel so much better than when I started—and what’s one lousy cookie in the grand scheme of things anyway.

This is the time when only sheer stubbornness makes the difference between success and failure.

I, flat out, will not quit.

It’s almost Wednesday. See you then.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Update: Week 13--August 17, 2001

Weight Watchers Group leaders tend to be as diverse as the membership they serve. In the time I have been a member, I have attended meetings been led by Gay Men, African Americans, older folks, younger folks, a member of the Deaf community, Latinas and good old “White Bread” folks like me. About the only thing they have in common is that at one time they were overweight and at one time they were seated out in the audience as members.

Although their reasons for becoming leaders are universally shared, the way that these former members decide how to communicate their message during meetings is also unique to each group leader. No one seems to run a meeting in exactly the same way. Some leaders lecture, some facilitate member discussions, some do a little bit of both. Some leaders are great and some…well…leave a little bit to be desired in terms of personal leadership style and inspiration.

Although I can’t be sure, I don’t believe that Weight Watchers offers rigid meeting plans for its group leaders—which in my opinion has both pluses and minuses.

The reason I mention the broad spectrum of diversity and lecture “style” of its group leaders is to reassure members (and those considering membership) that there is something for everyone at a Weight Watchers meeting—and if you don’t feel that you are getting the maximum benefit out of a meeting, you should vote with your feet and go to another meeting in another location or at another time.

Solid support—the kind of support that keeps you coming back every week—is key to successful weight loss at Weight Watchers. If you don’t feel that your meeting leader provides the kind of motivation you need, no one will be hurt or upset if you look elsewhere.

In short: “One size fits all” meetings (or lecturers) could not possibly serve a membership as diverse as those who attend Weight Watchers—and there is the perfect meeting out there waiting for you if you take the time to look for it.

My group leader Leona is a very inspiring person. I’m usually not a happy camper when someone stands up front and lectures me—but that’s her style and somehow she makes it work. She can get members motivated with a well-placed word. She can silence a noisy room with one insightful comment. She is warm, and she is understanding; she is encouraging of success, she is sympathetic to setbacks.

She is very, very good.

This week she discussed the importance of being good to oneself. I have heard the same thing discussed at other meetings at other times in my life as a Weight Watchers member—but I don’t ever recall the message having such an impact on its audience. When she talked about the reasons for placing “self” first, every head in the room nodded along in agreement. I, and the 60 or so members who attend faithfully each week, left resolving to be selfish—in the best possible way.

Find a leader who inspires you and stick with her. Be selfish and seek out a leader who gives you the motivation to keep coming every week.

This week I lost 2 pounds for a total of 22 ¼ pounds lost thus far.

I’ll thank Leona for the inspiration—but I’ll be selfish and take full credit for the effort it took to get to this place.

See ya’ next week.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Update: Weeks 14 & 15--August 31, 2001

Perspective is a funny thing. You can present a situation or a scenario to several different people and chances are good that you will get at least as many different points of view.

Take for example my update of this thread…I bet those of you reading along thought that when I said. See ya’ next week, I meant see ya’ next week.

Oops! Sorry.

Another interesting example of perspective is well illustrated by “The Case of the Gigantic Truffle”.

Now when I was overweight (yet another positive example of perspective) I would have thought that this obscenely large piece of chocolate was just right.

My husband, being the well-meaning, but clueless soul that he is brought me home 3 of what had to be the biggest confections ever manufactured.

As noted in a previous update, I love truffles and during a hormone-induced binge had no trouble at all consuming 4 in a mad food frenzy.

I love chocolate.

But this was too much.

I mean, one of these things could keep me happy for 3 or 4 days. There was not a snowball’s chance in hell that I would be able to finish even one of these chocolates, never mind the 3 contained in the little gold box.

So instead of wiping out the entire box in one sitting (my pre-diet modus operandi), I instead spent almost the entire 2 weeks since my last update, nibbling away at this little box of truffles.

I have noticed a definite change in my perspective when it comes to food.

It takes less to make me satisfied.

I don’t gorge on something like it’s the last time I’ll ever be allowed to have it.

I know if I want something, chances are excellent that I will be able to figure out a way to work it in—and still maintain my weight.

Weight Watchers reinforces to its members that when it comes to food, there is no such thing as “forbidden” when it comes to the Winning Points Program.

For a person raised on “When you diet you can’t have XXXXXXX” (fill in the blank with your favorite forbidden food) it is tremendously heartening—and empowering—to scratch that phrase from the diet book of absolutes.

I can have anything I want—I just can’t have as much of it as in the past—which, surprisingly, is ok by me.

See what I mean? It’s perspective. I choose to view my plate as totally full—and not half empty.

My perspective on what I used to call “rabbit food” has changed as well. Here is a typical summer meal, pre-Winning Points:

Two Hamburgers smothered in Cheese, Mayo, Ketchup, Lettuce, Pickles and Tomato. (I believe that Burger King would call this a Double Whopper—hold the onions, heavy mayo.)
One cup of Potato salad.
2 ears of butter-soaked corn-on-the-cob
One or two glasses of Coke
And a few truffles (or a double portion of any dessert)

Today:

One Burger, mustard and pickles, lettuce and tomato
½ cup baked beans (great fiber, low points)
Large green salad with dressing (usually fat-free, sometimes not) and fat free croutons
¼ cup of potato salad
Diet Ginger Ale

And some kind of treat—like a scoop of ice cream or sherbet—or a piece of one of my obscenely large truffles—for dessert.

I doubt I have to point out that the Point difference between the 2 meals is significant—and it certainly is illustrative of why I might have had a weight problem in the first place.

My plate is very full today—only it’s full of good stuff that I now genuinely enjoy eating—as well as a bit of the stuff that makes eating the pleasureful experience that it is.

On the Winning Points Program, you take control of your diet—it doesn’t take control of you or the things you enjoy in life.

Over the last 2 weeks, I have lost 3 ¾ pounds for a total of 26 pounds lost to date.

I am 5 pounds away from my goal.

My perspective has changed on “losing weight” as well. Instead of looking back, I have chosen to look forward. I may be losing weight—but I have in fact gained so much in terms of self-control, of self-esteem.

I’ll get to goal. And I’ll stay there. It’s not a matter of “if” anymore—and I’m not in any hurry.

Next week is hormore hell time. See ya’—soon! ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Update: Weeks 16, 17, 18 & 19--September 26, 2001

I am finally here.

After 19 weeks, numerous setbacks, loads of successes, 3 dress sizes, 32 pounds and several ridiculously long updates later (!) I am at my goal weight of 131 pounds.

I did it. And as I think I mentioned way back when, this is where the “fun” starts.

Maintenance—the place where the weight loss rubber hits the road.

I have a lot to think about because, for me, the journey has really just begun.

As I think I have mentioned, I have been a member of Weight Watchers many times before—starting way back, when I was in college. Never once had I stuck long enough with the program to make it to my goal. I got close; I got happy with where I was. But in my own 22-year-old struggle in the weight loss war, I have never once seen the magic ultimate goal number pop up on the scale.

Until today.

How great is that?

So now the real work starts—and I hope I am ready. Certainly all the pieces are in place for continued success. I have learned behavioral approaches to weight maintenance, adapted recipes; I have incorporated exercise and sound nutritional practices into my daily life; I have adopted numerous changes and developed planning and coping strategies to keep me on the straight and narrow for the rest of my life.

Will I do it? That of course, remains to be seen. The sad fact is that not many people maintain their weight over the course of the next year. Within 5 years many people are back at their starting weight—and then some.

However, there are a percentage of people that do maintain the weight they worked so hard to lose for the rest of their lives.

And I have resolved to be one of them.

At my meeting today, along with all the hugs and the applause (and the nifty little gold star) I got another booklet entitled, “Staying the Course”. Many of the feelings I am experiencing are outlined in this booklet—along with strategies to help me cope with the swirl of emotions associated with hitting goal.

It’s nice to know that I am not alone.

I am now considered “on maintenance”—a work in progress, so to speak. I will be attending meetings and weighing in for the next 6 weeks. I will be adjusting my Points upward because I no longer need to lose weight—just stay where I am. If at the end of this six-week period I have stayed within 2 pounds of my goal weight, I will be considered a “lifetime member”. (More about the benefits of Lifetime Membership when I get there!)

I may no longer be on a weight reduction program—but I have recognized and accepted the fact that I will be watching my weight for the rest of my life. I’m okay with that.

As I said when I started: I am ready. I’d ask you to wish me luck but really—all I am asking is that you wish me success.








Recommended: Yes

Approximate Monthly Cost (US$) 50
Food Variety Restrictions You eat any food you want
Restrictiveness of Portions Satisfying