This should be required reading for all people who work with children. A Man Named Dave shows that the human spirit can triumph over every imaginable set back with sufficient support from adults who care. The caseworkers who buys him a slushie, the teachers and nurse who finally call the police, the foster families that believed in him – these are the people who gave this child hope to go on and live another day.

In Dave Pelzer’s first two books, A Child Called It and The Lost Boy you can follow Dave’s struggle from the abusive hands of his mother through the foster care system. This book only touches on the difficulties he faced in his earlier years but picks up with Dave, the adult, trying to enlist in the Air Force. In order to understand just how far Dave has come, it is best to read his other books first. To summarize, Dave was forced to clean constantly, starved for days on end, not allowed to play, made to sleep on a cot in the garage with no heat and no blanket, burned, stabbed, beaten, poisoned, and tortured in many other ways by “the mother”. All the while Dave never lost hope that his loving “mommie” would return.

The one theme that reoccurs throughout the book is that Dave, the Man, believes each person is responsible for his or her own behavior. A miscreant who claims that “it’s not my fault” because he was abused as a child, gets no sympathy from Dave Pelzer. As an older teen and an adult, Dave applies himself, works hard, lives below his means to save money for a house on the Russian River, and takes responsibility for his own behavior. He reads as much as he can on child abuse and is determined to “break the cycle” with his own children.

This book is really Dave’s quest to find out why he was the one of the five brothers who was treated this way and why his father, though aware of the situation, did nothing to help him. He’s hoping that the information will help him to avoid the same abusive behavior. The answers are not satisfying to Dave or the reader. Dave’s parents were alcoholics and his mother suffered milder forms of abuse at the hands of her own mother. But this is not some novel where the writer can tie up all the lose ends. This is real life. Did his voice grate on his mother’s nerves or was he simply the one who wouldn’t fight back? The answers are not clear.

Dave goes on to join the Air Force, becomes a successful cook, later a boom operator on a KC-135 Q model, a refueling tanker for the SR-71, and serves in the Gulf War. During this time, he is hoodwinked, and I mean hoodwinked, into an unsuitable marriage. After his son Stephen is born, Dave works even harder at becoming a family man. But the marriage eventually falls apart.

Dave continues to struggle with his self-esteem as he tries to run his own business giving motivational talks and running programs for abused children and teens. It is not until Dave meets and marries his second wife that he seems to come into his own as a man. He has his house on the Russian River. He has a successful business. He is a best-selling author. And most important of all, a loving father to his son.

Dave Pelzer has learned to forgive his family and is not doomed to repeat the past. He is the one who holds his father as the old man passes away. He learns it is best to let his mother go, just let it go. He gets on with his life and takes full responsibility for his actions –truly an amazing person. I’m not sure I could do the same if I was in his situation and I thank the Lord I was born into my particular family. But Dave’s story can be an inspiration to all who find obstacles on their path of life.


Recommended: Yes