Home > Media > Books > Richard Zacks - An Underground Education: The Unauthorized and Outrageous Supplement to Everything You Thought You Knew About Art, Sex, Business, Crime, Science, Medicine, and Other Fields of
Richard Zacks - An Underground Education: The Unauthorized and Outrageous Supplement to Everything You Thought You Knew About Art, Sex, Business, Crime, Science, Medicine, and Other Fields of
Ready to play "Who Wants to Increase Income Share?"
Written: Feb 03 '01 (Updated Feb 07 '01)
Product Rating:
Pros: A fascinating collection of things you're not supposed to know.
Cons: Some disturbing content.
The Bottom Line: An Underground Education is the perfect bedside companion for anyone who believes there's no such thing as too much knowledge.
taurusmoon's Full Review: Richard Zacks - An Underground Education: The Unau...
“Welcome back to ‘Who Wants to Increase Income Share?’ Joining us in the hot seat tonight is taurusmoon from right here in New York City. Welcome taurusmoon. Good to have you here.”
“Thank you, Regis. It’s a pleasure. But, please call me Sara. Taurusmoon is a name that I typed into a registration field over at Epinions.com more than a year ago. We can drop the pretenses for the benefit of this review.”
“Okay, Sara. I must say that I’ve never seen anyone race through the Fastest Finger question like you did. I believe you’ve set a new record. What’s your secret?”
“Well Regis, you have to remember, I wrote this review. So, it would be safe to assume that I already had the answers saved in a Word document. But, regardless of that, I just finished reading a tremendously entertaining book, An Underground Education: The Unauthorized and Outrageous Supplement to Everything You Thought You Knew About Art, Sex, Business, Crime, Science, Medicine, and Other Fields of Human Knowledge. Needless to say, I am now completely reeducated and a veritable font of knowledge on art, sex, business, crime, science, medicine, and other fields of human knowledge.”
“I see. So, you’re obviously well prepared for tonight’s game.”
“I think so, Regis. I have a great deal of obscure, yet fascinating information floating around in my brain that I hope to draw on.”
“And, who is this you brought with you today?”
“That’s Richard Zacks, Regis. He’s the author of this wonderful romp through the human experience. Having spent two and a half years researching and compiling all the mind-bending and numbing stories for this irreverent work of scholarship, not to mention a lifetime of achievement at looking at and doing things a bit differently, I figured he was the perfect person to bring along for inspiration.”
“Well then, if you’re ready, let’s start playing Who Wants to Increase Income Share?. You know the rules. You’re 15 questions away from the one million dollar level. To help you win you have three lifelines. Okay, we begin at the $100 level…
An object containing sheets of paper with words printed on them is commonly called
A. A television
B. Lunch
C. A Book
D. Late to dinner”
“That would be C, Regis. A Book.”
“You’re right! For $200…
Useless information is commonly referred to as this:
A. Data
B. Trivia
C. Ridiculous
D. Fascinating”
“Wait a minute, Regis. You’re not supposed to throw a trick question in so early in the game. I happen to think that useless information, although useless can be utterly fascinating. Others may find it ridiculous. But, I’d venture to say that the answer you’re looking for is B. Trivia.”
“Final answer?”
“Yes. As much as I hate to make that choice, it’s my final answer.”
“You’re right! But you seem a bit, oh I don’t know…bitter, maybe?”
“I’m sorry, I’m trying not to be, but this society places a tremendous amount of value on what it deems to be useful and hardly enough on what is just plain interesting. Zack’s book, for instance, may be shunned by many because it has no plot, nor does it contribute any obvious benefit to humankind. Of course, that’s obvious benefit. There are benefits that are less obvious, like the grand realization that the human race is particularly warped. There’s huge value in that.”
“I suppose there is. Maybe we’ll have the writers edit that question for the home edition of the game. Let’s move onto our $300 question, shall we?
A book, or series of books containing articles on various topics concerning all branches of knowledge is called a
A. Dictionary
B. Bore
C. Encyclopedia
D. Diary”
“From the Greek meaning ‘circular education’ it’s C, Regis. Encyclopedia. Final Answer.”
“Yes! It seems you know a little about encyclopedias, Sara.”
“An Underground Education is an encyclopedia of sorts. It consists of many short articles organized by body of knowledge. While you can read any one article on its own, it’s written in such a way that each independent article builds off the previous one. Rather ingenious, if you ask me.”
“Sounds like an encyclopedia to me.”
“Well, it is and it isn’t. Most encyclopedias are written to provide the reader with information they’re supposed to know. This one delights its readers with tidbits that they’re not supposed to know. Facts that have either gotten misinterpreted over the course of years or simply hushed up.”
“Well, well. There must be some really juicy articles in that book.”
“Oh, there are, Regis. There are indeed.”
“A bit too juicy to pass by our censors, eh?”
“Oh, you can bet on that.”
“Hehe, well before I get myself in trouble with the network, how about we move on to our $500 question…
In the original version of the story, Sleeping Beauty was awakened from her long slumber by
A. A car alarm
B. A kiss
C. An attack of the munchies
D. The birth of twins”
“This is just the kind of information you’ll find it this book, Regis. We were all taught as children that Sleeping Beauty was awakened by a kiss from a prince. The fact is, that in the earliest version of this fairy tale, told in Italy in 1636, the sleeping young woman, the victim of a poisoned splinter, was raped by a king who was just passing through and left her without even the courtesy of a thank you note on her nightstand. She awoke nine months later. The answer is D: the birth of twins. Final answer.”
“Yes! Sleeping Beauty must have been a very deep sleeper.”
“Either that or the King was a really lousy lover.”
“Uh…yeah… Next question, shall we? For $1000…
‘An ill compounded mixture of romance and matter of fact…(the author) has to thank himself only if his errors and his heroics are flung aside by the general readers as so much trash belonging to the worst school of Bedlam literature…’ This review, published on October 25, 1851 was about which book?
A. Les Miserables
B. Cooking with Regis and Kathie Lee
C. Moby Dick
D. Anna Karenina”
“C. Moby Dick. Final Answer.”
“You seem confident.”
“I am. Moby Dick was such a miserable failure that it only sold 3,797 copies in its first 36 years in print. It didn’t catch on until 70 years after publication, 20 years after Melville’s death. Zacks discusses this in his book. Final answer.”
“Yes! Well, I’m impressed.”
“Tell the guy sitting in the audience. I wouldn’t have known that without him.”
“Well you now owe the $1000 you just won to the ‘guy sitting in the audience.’ That $1000 is yours to keep by the way, no matter how you do on the following questions. Just 10 questions to go to get to a million dollars. So, for $2000…
Thomas Edison developed the electric chair as a means to
A. Liven up his next party
B. Rid society of evildoers
C. Discredit a business rival
D. Stop his mother-in-law from visiting”
“This one shocked me when I read it. Edison dealt in low-powered direct current. His rival, George Westinghouse was making a name for himself using high-powered alternating current. Westinghouse’s method was proving to be the energy source of the future. Rather than adapt to new technology, Edison chose to attempt to put his rival out of business by trying to make sure that the public equated AC with danger and death. Not only did he push for the adoption of the electric chair using his competitor’s innovation, he tried to get the name of the lethal process to become synonymous with his name. If Edison had his way, we would be reading about prisoners being Westinghoused.
The answer is C.”
“Final answer?”
“Final answer.”
“You got it! That’s amazing. So Richard, how are you enjoying watching your protégé’s performance here tonight?”
“Oh, I’m getting a charge out of it, Regis.”
“Well, let’s see how she does on the $4000 question…
The popularity of the bicycle in the 1890’s lead to the popularity of what other development?
A. Rubber tires
B. Energy bars
C. Air pumps
D. Women’s underwear”
“I’m going to ‘Ask the Audience’ on this one, Regis.”
“Okay. Audience, please punch in your answers on the keypad in front of you… Well, Sara, the audience has selected A, rubber tires.”
“I thought they might. Seems obvious, doesn’t it?”
“Actually, Sara, you’ve been on such a hot streak I was wondering why you’d go to the audience for a question like this.”
“The audience is wrong, Regis. It’s not A. The answer is D. Women’s underwear. I just wanted to see if the audience would fall for the obvious. The obvious isn’t always right. You see, it was impossible to ride a bicycle sidesaddle like one could ride a horse. And, considering that Western women of the 19th century still clothed themselves exclusively in skirts and dresses, bicycles left quite a bit of, um… well, it provided passersby with quite a view. Which made bloomers quite popular. With women that is, not with the men who were enjoying the sport. As spectators. D. Final answer.”
“You’re right. I suppose there weren’t many men shopping for gifts in Victoria’s Secret back then.”
“No, I suppose Victoria still had that secret under tight wraps. Wherever it was she kept it.”
“Well, you’ve got $4000 and you’re eight questions away from a million dollars. What do you think you’ll do with that money?”
“I’m not sure. I’ll probably buy quite a few copies of An Underground Education and hand them out as gifts for my friends. I was given this book as a gift and I’ve really enjoyed reading it. I kept it on my nightstand and read a few pages each day, absorbing more and more knowledge over the course of a month. It would be fun to see what particular article would strike someone’s fancy. Or, offend them. There’s a bit of material in there, articles and photos, that might be offensive to some people less warped than I or the person who chose to present me with this book. Anyone who picks it up should be forewarned about some graphic, and outrageous content. Don’t give An Underground Education to anyone unless you know them well. Obviously someone knew me pretty well.”
“$4000 can surely buy you quite a few copies of that book.”
“I have quite a few intelligent, inquisitive, open-minded friends who’d appreciate it.”
“Well, maybe you’ll have a few more by the time this evening is over. Let’s see how many books this $8000 question can buy…
The expression blondes have more fun might have come from this group of Ancient Romans
A. Senators
B. Prostitutes
C. Gladiators
D. Housewives”
“It’s not Senators. That much I know. The people native to Rome had dark hair. It could be gladiators, because many of them were slaves and could have come from Northern Barbarian tribes. But, then so did many of the prostitutes. I’m going to have to use a 50/50 on this one, Regis.”
“Okay. Computer, take away two of the incorrect answers.
Hmmm, well that leaves you with
B. Prostitutes and D. Housewives.”
“This is a tricky one. But I think I got it. Prostitutes were required to either dye their hair blonde or wear a blonde wig. That was to separate them from honorable Roman brunettes. But, it turns out that many of the housewives were jealous of all the fun that their less honorable sisters were having and began sporting blonde hair themselves thinking maybe some of the fun would rub off on them. But, since I have to pick one, I’ll say B, prostitutes since they originated the fashion. Final Answer.”
“Yes! You got it! $8000 will buy you quite a bit of hair color won’t it?”
“That it will, but I’ll stick with my natural auburn for now.”
“Natural?”
“Ask me the next question, Regis.”
“Okiedoke. For $16,000…
Before the recent invention of toothpaste, what did some people use to whiten their teeth and prevent the development of cavities?
A. Chicken fat
B. Wine
C. Paint thinner
D. Urine”
“As revolting as the answer may be, it’s D, urine. It was used by the Romans, who prized specimens imported from Portugal the most. The practice continued through the 1700’s. That’s AD, by the way. Supposedly, the ammonia found in urine does have some cleansing properties. I have no clue what they might have used as dental floss though. I don’t think I want to know.”
“So, D is your final answer?”
“Yes. Final answer.”
“You’ve just won $16,000. How does it feel?”
“Considering that I won it by knowing that urine was used as a dentifrice, it’s sort of a dubious honor. But, I’ll take it nonetheless.”
“That’s the spirit! On to $32,000?”
“Sure, why not?”
“Now remember, if you get this one right you get to keep the $32,000 no matter what happens later in the game. Here we go…
When the English sent a message to Napoleon’s Imperial Guard at Waterloo demanding his surrender, the legendary guard responded with
A. ‘The Guard dies but never surrenders.’
B. ‘What, me worry?’
C. ‘The French have no word for surrender.’
D. ‘Merde.’”
“Oh, I should know this. I know I read it. Oh. Oh. Oh. What is the answer? It could be A. It could be C. I remember reading something about Ethan Allan being misquoted when he asked the British to surrender. People seem to remember him saying ‘In the name of the great Jehovah and the Continental Congress’ when what he really said was, ‘Come out here, you sons of British w hores, or I’ll smoke you out.’
Of course, that’s not the question. I’m afraid I’m going to have to use my last lifeline and phone a friend.”
“Okay. Who do you want to call?”
“I’d like to call tipu, Regis. He’s the one who slipped me this book in a plain brown wrapper in the midst of a crowd in Kennedy Airport’s Terminal 4. He’s read the book so I’m hoping he’ll remember it.”
“Tipu? I’ve heard about this tipu. Are you sure about this?”
“I don’t think I have a choice Regis. All the answers so far, with the exception of the first three lame ones, have come from amongst the many amazing facts contained in the book. Tipu’s read the book. I don’t know anyone else who has. So, like it or not, he’s my man.”
“Okay. With the help of our friends at AT&T, let’s get tipu on the line…”
Ring…
Ring…
Ring…
“Hellowowza”
“Hello, tipu? This is Regis Philbin calling from ‘Who Wants to Increase Income Share?’ in New York City. Your friend taurusmoon is here. She’s going for $32,000 and needs your help.”
“$32,000. That’s the all or nothing mark, isn’t it Reeg?”
“Well, yes. If she gets this right she’s guaranteed $32,000. If she doesn’t, she goes home with $1,000.”
“And, she’s calling me?”
“Yes, that’s right. She picked you as her Phone Friend.”
“Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?”
“Huh?”
“Abraham Lincoln.”
“Something from this book?”
“Nah. Leastwise, not that I can rememberate. I just like saying it.”
“I see. Are you sure about this, Sara?”
“I’m afraid so.”
“Okay tipu, I’m going to put 30 seconds on the clock and Sara will read you the question.”
“Tipu, When the English sent a message to Napoleon’s Imperial Guard at Waterloo demanding his surrender, the legendary guard responded with
A. ‘The Guard dies but never surrenders.’
B. ‘What, me worry?’
C. ‘The French have no word for surrender.’
D. ‘Merde.’”
“Yanno, I know this. In fact, it’s the reason I gave you the book in the first place. It’s about saying one thing while you mean to say another thing. Or, people saying you said something when you really didn’t say it…”
“Eight seconds, tipu”
“Think about it. It has something to do with Mmmmmz and the Fig Newtonian Laws.”
“Time’s almost up you twerp.”
“Of course, there’s always…”
Bong
“Oh, Sara. I’m afraid time’s up.”
“Why, oh why? I should have known better.”
“You can walk away and go home with $16,000 or you can take a guess and try for 32,000. You have no lifelines left. What do you want to do?”
“Well, Regis. I honestly never expected to make any money on this. I really just wanted to tell people about this fascinating book and demonstrate the kind of knowledge they can acquire from reading it. But, since this is just fantasy anyway, I’ll take a guess and go for the 32 grand. A. Regis.”
“You’re sure?”
“No. But, I might as well.”
“Final answer?”
“Final answer.”
“Oh dear. No A is the common misconception. The correct answer was D, Merde.”
“Merde. I should have known.”
“But, you don’t go away empty handed. Here’s a check for $2.77.”
“$2.77? But, I earned $1000, didn’t I?”
“Sara, this is ‘Who Wants to Increase Income Share?’ We can’t give you the full amount. We have a secret algorithm to protect.”
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