Anguished English || laughing and crying at the same time...
Written: Sep 08 '07 (Updated Sep 16 '07)
Product Rating:
Pros: It truly is 'laugh out loud' funny at times.
Cons: Definitely needs to be consumed in small chunks. Some examples are dated.
The Bottom Line: Poorly executed writing is funny in short bits. The random examples here are indeed funny and should motivate the reader to avoid committing similar gaffes.
We have all seen newspaper headlines that did not quite sound right, heard a sportscaster scramble a cliché into a new and indecipherable phrase, or read a sentence of an on-line review that left us scratching our heads or laughing out loud.
Anguished English, by Richard Lederer, collects hundreds of these baffling yet humorous moments. With decades of experience teaching English and years of experience writing both newspapers columns and books, Lederer brings a critical, yet humorous, slant to presenting the unintended use and misuse of the English language.
His years in the classroom bring many examples of the student's confusion with the details of their mother tongue: "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars." He also offers numerous examples of well-intended but off-target excuse notes from parents: "Please excuse Mary from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps."
Court transcripts: "Q. Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A. All my autopsies have been on dead people.", traffic accident reports: "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.", scandalous Sunday church bulletin announcements: "The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.", classified ads: "Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.", and newspaper headlines: "SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS" all demonstrate the many ways in which everyday English can be twisted beyond common sense.
Other chapters share modern day malapropisms: "They've decided to raise my benefits, and they're making it radioactive!", mixed up metaphors: "It's time to grab the bull by the tail and look it in the eye.", and Irish bulls. What is an Irish bull? It is "ludicrous, incongruent or logically absurd statement, generally unrecognized as such by its author." (Source: Wikipedia.com)
Of course, a book documenting 'anguished English' surely must feature more than a few thoughts of Yogi Berra, a quotable baseball personality who 'mangled language' at a high level. It is said movie mogul Sam Goldwyn was also a noted 'language mangler'; he is also celebrated in the book.
Phrases translated poorly into English: "(Sign) in a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.", bad grammar, and absurd misspellings fill out the book.
In any compilation there is always the danger of satiating the reader. Too much taken here at one time can overwhelm the reader. Indeed, the author warns the reader: "Overdosing on Anguished English could be hazardous to your daily routine. I sincerely suggest that you sip the book slowly, imbibing no more than a few chapters in a single sitting." I fully concur with this suggestion/warning.
The Bottom Line
English can be a confusing and annoying language. Hundreds of books, websites, blogs and forums discuss, dissect, analyze, and debate its proper form, function, and usage.
Anguished English demonstrates that everyone can make a minor slip in spelling, grammar, or word choice. Isolated instances are indeed humorous.
But it becomes annoying when mistake after mistake are found in a given selection of writing. With all the resources available to today's writer it is truly anguishing that anyone who takes pride in their words would settle for less than their absolute best effort.
Get this book. It will embarrass you if you recognize in it any of your own writing mistakes. Hopefully it will motivate you to avoid future embarrassment.
Please Note:
It is a common ploy for the writer of a 'get it right..!!' writing essay to claim that any errors found in his/her essay are simply hidden 'easter eggs' to test the reader. I, of course, continue that fine tradition here. ...:minism:... And 'bonus commenting points' for those who first point them out.
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