Archie has to be the oldest living teenager in the world. He has been 17 years old since he first made his debut in 1941. Archie and his friends have been in Riverdale High School for 65 years. That’s possibly the worst punishment that can ever be inflicted on a teenager… perpetually attending senior year over and over again with no sight of graduation ever coming around. So, in an alternate universe, what would happen to Archie and his friends after high school?

This is addressed in the made-for-television 1990 movie called Archie: Return to Riverdale (originally titled Archie: To Riverdale and Back Again for television) as Archie, Veronica, Betty, Reggie and Jughead come back to Riverdale for their 15-year high school reunion. What transpires is a combination of high-school hijinks and adult soap opera drama.


All Grown Up… Or So They Think

Archibald “Archie” Andrews is a successful lawyer. His fiancée Pam is also a lawyer but seems to be more concerned about her image and appearance. To her, this is the most important thing as it helps gives her credibility and status. Archie is ready to move on with his life with this woman and start fresh in the big city. But the past always seems to find him as his invitation for his high school reunion sits in front of him. He actually wasn’t planning on going but Pam encourages him to do so, mostly so he can get the last vestiges of his youth out of his system and get on with his adult life.

Betty Cooper is an elementary school teacher who aspires to be a novelist. She is also engaged but to an overbearing jerk named Robert, who, incidentally, is extremely jealous of Archie. Forsythe Pendleton "Jughead" Jones is a single father with a son and, of all things, a psychiatrist. Reggie Mantle went to work for Mr. Lodge and has opened several successful businesses as a result. And speaking of Lodge, his daughter Veronica is flying in from Paris for the reunion just to see Archie, something that doesn’t please him at all.

Encountering each other again at Riverdale High brings back old divided feelings for Archie, as he is once again conflicted between Betty and Veronica. It doesn’t help when his fianc&233e decides to make a surprise visit as well.

But there are more pressing issues at hand as their old stomping grounds, the Chok’lit Shoppe owned by Pop Tates, is set for demolition thanks due Reggie’s plan to expand his own gym. The gang has to rally together and try to find a way to save this favourite establishment. But things get trickier when Mr. Lodge gets involved, especially with his dislike for one Archie Andrews. The outcome of the situation is definitely explosive.


The Eternal Question: Betty or Veronica?

I remember the two main things that were advertised when I first saw the commercial for this movie. First, this was a live-action show based on the comic book featuring these beloved characters. It was going to be interesting to see who was going to play the parts of Archie, Jughead, and the rest of the Riverdale gang. And second, as advertised, this was Archie as never seen before, meaning that it was more adult in story and content. That’s a big difference from having high school crushes and teenage shenanigans to lustful adult encounters and provocative connotations.

The actors chosen to play these parts were actually pretty scary as they really were the characters come to life. Christopher Rich (Brock Hart on Reba) personified the redheaded, freckled face (though the freckles must have fallen off in a 15 year time span) Archie Andrews. He has always been indecisive, whether it was attending the high school reunion, his feelings for Betty and Veronica, or making the move to the big city; Archie was always conflicted.

Sam Whipple as Jughead Jones brought a neurosis and quirkiness to the character, but I felt he got the short end of the stick. I was disappointed that his love for eating was almost non-existent throughout the movie. And it would have been nice to show Jughead’s famous crown-hat. At least his fear of Big Ethel was prominent, though his encounter with her was not what I expected.

Reggie Mantle, played by Gary Kroeger, was probably the easiest role as all was needed was someone to play a callous jerk. But Reggie does have a heart in his body somewhere. I still can’t get over James Noble as Mr. Hiram Lodge. I still see him as Governor Eugene Gatling from TV’s Benson.

It’s no surprising that two sexpots were cast as Betty and Veronica. This is where most—if not all—of the adult situations come into play.

Karen Kopins is the vivacious and jet-setting, dark-haired Veronica Lodge, still the spoiled rich girl. She has left behind four ex-husbands in Paris and has her sights on Archie. And it’s from her startling scene in Archie’s bedroom, where she breaks into his house in the middle of the night and disrobes her coat to reveal that all she is wearing is scantily-clad lingerie, that this isn’t your father’s or grandfather’s or great-grandfather’s version of Archie. All of a sudden it has become Riverdale 90210: The Reunion Years.

Archie: Ronnie, I have a fiancée.
Veronica: Don't worry, I've had thirteen.

Not to be outdone, Betty Cooper makes her presence known, and when Lauren Holly plays her, all eyes instantly turn in her direction. There is a hilarious scene in the beginning of the movie where one of her students drops something in order for her to bend over and pick it up. Naughty boy! But Holly does her best to be demure and straight-laced as Betty. It doesn’t really work since her sexual presence is noticeable, and she isn’t even trying. But even Betty’s repressed sexual feelings had to finally come out into the open.

Betty: I never forgot the night of the storm, Archie. I never forgot how I stood by and watched you chase after Veronica. How I never just went after what I wanted.
Archie: What are you doing?
Betty: Something I always wanted to do with you, Archie. I'm sick of being Miss Goody-Two-Shoes. Treat me like a woman, Archie. Make... me... wild.

The man has two gorgeous women lusting after him. I wonder if he understands the concept of a “threesome”. With all the sexual innuendos and situations taking place, I almost expected the movie to head in that direction.

By all means, Archie: Return to Riverdale tried to showcase a more adult Archie with past references to the comic book while trying to move forward with the characters. It was really weird to see the gang put in adult situation, as tame as it was for television. Archie, in the minds of millions, is a teenager. He represents an age of innocence and to see him in situations like this is almost a no-no. I think we never want to see him grow up to justify his wild antics and girl situation. Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, an offshoot from the Archie comic books, had a successful television run that was aimed at teenagers. Archie could have done the same and this movie proved that a grown-up version of Archie is not the way to go.

Besides, how hard is it to choose between a blonde and brunette? I would have gone for Betty (I secretly have a thing for blondes… why do you think I married one?).


Other Live-Action Comic Book Shows
Captain America (1979)
The Incredible Hulk Returns
Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman—The Complete First Season
Superboy: The Complete First Season


Recommended:
No

Viewing Format: VHS
Video Occasion: Good for a Rainy Day
Suitability For Children: Suitable for Children Age 13 and Older