Pros: Oren Yoel and his co-producers should see an increase in clientele.
Cons: Too bad this time, they rendered their services to a below-average “wordsmith.”
The Bottom Line: The album with big expectations that went bust: Asher Roth’s Asleep in the Bread Aisle is proof that insidious marketing sometimes has its limits.
balogun's Full Review: Asleep in the Bread Aisle [PA] by Asher Roth
Quite frankly, I didn’t get the hullabaloo about Asher Roth. I didn’t get it when DJ Drama and Don Cannon endorsed him with production in his Greenhouse Effect Mixtape. I didn’t get it when XXL magazine endorsed him with an inclusion in their “Top 10 Freshmen” issue for 2009. I didn’t get it when manager Scooter Braun and veteran music executive Steve Rifkind endorsed him with a joint record deal. Hell, I didn’t get it when his first official single, “I Love College” -- which finds the wiry kid flinging listless bars about college-party debauchery over the “Impeach the President” breakbeat that has been used for, like, the 1,245,677,456th time in the history of mankind -- made it as far as the #12 slot on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.
And with a few spins of Roth’s debut album, Asleep in the Bread Aisle, I still don’t get it.
Just what is so darn special about this kid that warranted such a healthy buzz leading up to his album release? Hmmm, could it be because he’s white? Wow, I had no clue that the existence of white rappers is still a novelty or an anomaly. I mean, it’s either that, or 3rd Bass, The Beastie Boys, Eminem, Vanilla Ice and K-Fed (ugh!), Bubba Sparkxx, Slug of Atmosphere (half-white), Cage, Vinnie Paz of Jedi Mind Tricks, Sage Francis, El-P, Aesop Rock, Apathy, Evidence of Dilated Peoples, Lil’ Wyte, Haystak, and several others actually possess much more than a smidgen of melanin. Hell, I can name a lot more white rappers than female ones!
Or wait, it could be the subject matter, right? Uh-huh, yeah, and North Korea is a democracy. And Donald Trump has good hair. And Jon & Kate Gosselin are, like, the most newsworthy people right now. Whoever thinks that rapping about getting drunk, smoking weed, and chasing and screwing anything on heels (“Blunt Cruisin’”, “Be By Myself” and “She Don’t Wanna Man”: take your pick) is even remotely revolutionary needs to have stakes driven into his ears -- and I don’t care how much of a white-suburbia twist is employed.
So I imagine that Roth has a lot of nerve to even respond to comparisons with a rapper who shares his skin color -- and nothing else. And that’s especially when he spouts drivel like this in “As I Em”: “I was in 7th grade when I heard the Slim Shady LP/Yeah, my mom brought it down when I was ironing, irony/[…]/Em was great, yeah, he paved the way for me/He was inspiration for everyone from A to Z.” Ick.
In fact, comparing Asher Roth with Eminem in any way possible is a grave insult to a guy who practically had to fight tooth and nail to get to where he is: in the highest echelon of rapping greats. Say what you will about Em -- that he is a extremely vulgar, pill-popping, squeaky-voiced, whiny, deranged misogynist and homophobe. But for one, at least he was riveting in his self-deprecation. Asher Roth, on the other hand, cannot even generate attention when he goes for the same shtick in “Bad Day”, let alone elicit a chuckle. And two: in pure technique, pathetically few in hip-hop history are on par with Eminem. Meanwhile, this kid struggles to rhyme beyond mono- and bi-syllables -- or even rhyme, period. “Lark on My Go-Kart” is especially atrocious; and what even makes it worse is that Roth simply tosses out bars laden with random pop-culture references without even bothering to tie them up: “Suck a Dick Butkus, chumps can’t funk with the punk kids/Ash Roth be the king of the blumpkins/Any Tim Duncan, Spur of the moment/Let the whole world know I run s**t, jump ship quick, tell a friend that I’m dumb sick…” What in the world of cryptography does this mean?
Even when he tries to get more serious, he falters. “La Di Da” does not know whether to be a battle track or a paean to perseverance, while in “Lion’s Roar”, the poor guy can’t pull off the analogy between mic dominance and sexual prowess mainly because the former is simply not true (and that consequently does not bode well for the latter.) And Roth is just laughable attempting to be socially conscious in “Sour Patch Kids”. “The poor get poor, the rich get richer/Get the chips, you see the big picture?” Ehh, no, I don’t.
The Pennsylvanian MC does fare slightly better with the autobiographical closers -- “His Dream” and “Fallin’” -- focusing largely on memories of his deceased dad and his pursuit of a lucrative rap career. These are actually the best cuts in the entire album. Unfortunately, listening to these songs may make one imagine a rapper in Roth’s place who has a lot more verve, can at least string poly-syllables together -- and actually rhyme!
Oh well, at least one can find solace in the head-nodding worthiness of the new-age boom bap Roth tarnishes with his verses. Give Oren Yoel more than a hand, since he virtually produces the entire project (with assistance from David Appleton and Yorel; the latter takes care of the stunning piano-sprinkled “Fallin’”). Bursting at the seams with ripe plucks of acoustic guitars, thundering drums, and digital beeps, tracks like “Blunt Cruisin’”, “Sour Patch Kids”, “Lark on My Go-Kart”, and yes, even “I Love College” with its breakbeat long past retirement age, Yoel and Co. prevent Asleep in the Bread Aisle from being a total waste because surely, even with dap from who’s-who in the hip-hop and R&B world -- Keri Hilson, Busta Rhymes, Cee Lo, etc. -- Roth hardly manages to relieve himself from the doldrums of mediocrity.
Thus you can imagine me nearly doubling over in hilarity when I heard him whine in “As I Em”, “I just want to be accepted as the illest in the game!” I’m willing to bet my life earnings that this dude is not even the “illest” in a random frat party at his alma mater. God, listening to Asleep in the Bread Aisle, I am thoroughly convinced that someone should sign this kid up for some remedial courses.
TRACK LISTING:
1. Lark on My Go-Kart 2. Blunt Cruisin’ 3. I Love College 4. La Di Da 5. Be By Myself 6. She Don’t Wanna Man 7. Sour Patch Kids 8. As I Em 9. Lion’s Roar 10. Bad Day 11. His Dream 12. Fallin’
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