Betelnut: Cheap Ho’s, Expensive Treats
Written: Dec 16 '01 (Updated Mar 01 '03)
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Pros: Almost all of their dishes are well conceived and perfectly executed
Cons: Tad pricey for glorified Chinese food, crowded bar, long wait for tables.
The Bottom Line: A very nice restaurant with something to offer everyone, but be prepared to make an evening of it, because the wait is long and the dishes are slow coming.
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| Mr.Eyore's Full Review: Betelnut |
Betelnut is located on tony Union Street in San Francisco’s Marina District, surrounded by upscale furniture and antique shops and other mid-priced restaurants. Street parking is difficult to come by, but fortunately, there’s a reasonably priced lot across the street.
Specializing in pan-Asian cuisine, Betelnut sets the tone with its decor. The wide open room is typically divided by a wall of people packed into the small front bar. There’s a porchy region where folks can people-watch and get elbowed in the head while scarfing. Over the deep red bar, huge woven fans wave back and forth from the ceiling, and throughout, bamboos and woven plant fibers predominate. With its dim lighting, rich hues and organic furniture, the ambiance of the place says nothing so much as “cheap Bangkok wh*rehouse” [1] which immediately begs the question, “Hey, when are the cheap wh*res gonna come out of the woodwork?”
But then you’ll realize: It’s the Marina. You got nothing BUT cheap wh*res.[2] Except these are really just desperate, scrunchy and butt-floss wearing, blonde ponytail sporting zin guzzlers, so they don’t cost anything, except your pride and a boatload of answering machine space if you make the mistake of taking one home.
In their defense, though, they are fine conversationalists, especially when they engage you in conversations like:
“Wow, you drank that fast.”
“Yup.”
“What was that?”
“Manhattan”
“So, what’s in a Manhattan.”
“Stuff. Excuse me, I got a thing.”
But their presence doesn’t really detract from the restaurant experience at Betelnut all that much. Just put your name on the list, go next door to Prego for a drink or three, and come back in 2 hours when your table’s ready.
The Food
My last trip to Betelnut, I went with my mother, sister and brother-in-law. One of the joys of eating with my brother-in-law is that, like me, he cooks. I’ve never eaten a single thing he’s cooked, but it’s fun to eat out with him because he’ll play the “what’s it made of” game with me. And with Asian cuisine, sometimes that’s a hard game to play, so it’s nice to have input from someone else.
This last visit, our waitress came over and asked what we wanted.
“Same three things everyone else gets.”
“Minced Chicken in lettuce cups, dragon dumplings and green beans?” she guessed, without missing a beat. And she was dead on, except that we wanted the vegetarian dumplings.
Minced Chicken in Lettuce Cup It’s not all that rare to come across a Chinese restaurant that serves, say, minced squab, which is like a refreshing, cool Asian taco. Betelnut’s take on this dish is superb, though. The chicken is perfectly flavored with chili sauce and peppers, to which pine nuts and shiitaki mushrooms are added. All of this is served with perfectly trimmed cups of chilled iceberg lettuce, into which you scoop a spoonful or two of the meat. It’s very good.
Garlic Green Beans Simply the finest green bean dish I’ve had anywhere, and it’s perfectly executed every time. The beans are blanched just enough to soften the outer half or so, while keeping their fresh emerald tint, then mixed with a fantastic mixture of chiles, chile paste soy and sesame oil. This dish is so well made that my mother actually asked me if I could make this instead of her nasty green bean casserole for Thanksgiving this year – and she loves her nasty green bean casserole.
Tea Duck: The duck is plenty good, but no better than I’ve had at a number of other places. It may well be that my palate simply isn’t sensitive enough to notice the infused flavors of the tea, or that I just prefer to have some of the duck fat grilled off rather than steamed soft, but even served with a nicely balanced plum sauce and really nice bao-like bread, this dish just didn’t do it for me.
I also may be spoiled by some of the truly incredible duck dishes I’ve had elsewhere in the city. Elite Café’s Jambalaya with duck confit is simply one of the best preparations I can think of, and Boulevard’s duck cooked three ways is so perfectly rendered that it embarrasses most other places that even try to serve the bird.
Like everything else here, the Black Pepper Prawns and Crab are perfectly spiced to balance the sweetness of the meat with a little bit of spicy-saltiness. Their Sea Bass is well rendered, and their Chicken Dumplings are at least as good as what you would get at the best dim sum shop you’ve ever been to, if a little more expensive.
The Booze
All indications are that Betelnut’s bar is pretty darn good, but I’m not willing to swear by that assertion, since the bar is always too annoyingly crowded to hang out in for long. I’ll say this though: the bar staff is small, and they handle a large crowd with efficient good humor. They mix a good drink, and their mixed drinks use a better brand of default liquor than most places. They’ll also ask you if “blank is an okay vodka-rum-tequila-bourbon-whatever for whatever you’re ordering. Some people might consider it upselling, but I appreciate that I have an opportunity to say what kind of bourbon I want in my Manhattan, or what kind of Vodka my mother wants in her martini, before the bartender disappears to go and make it.
Mojitos: I don’t keep up much with what the hip drink is in any given year, but I’m aware that even mixed drinks are prone to fads. For instance, I’m aware that either this year or last year, a lot of Marina girls and people in Los Angeles are/were ordering Apple Martinis, and that that doesn’t necessarily mean that they should have their knee-caps shattered. I am also vaguely aware that either last year or the year before, the same people were ordering a lot of Mojitos, a rum drink with lime, sugar water, and mint. I imagine, around these parts, the mojito craze was spurred on by the opening of Betelnut, which features the drink prominently. So each time I’ve been there, I’ve actually ordered one of these. It’s not half bad: sweet, stronger than you think, and it goes okay with the food, quite frankly. Plus, it’s kinda cool the way they get all the mint leaves to stick against the side of the glass under the ice, but lined up like little green soldiers. Okay, go ahead, break my kneecaps.
Betelnut has a wide selection of other colorful rum-based mixed drinks; many of the same drinks you’ll find in some Chinese restaurants: Scorpion Bowls, Fog Cutters and the like. I haven’t tried any of these, but I imagine, given the quality of alcohol they use, these are as good as you’ll find anywhere else, or better.
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[1] http://www.betelnut.cc/ : “Located on the bustling sidewalks of Union Street in San Francisco's popular Cow Hollow District, Betelnut Pejiu Wu brings the best of contemporary
Asian cuisine to the West Coast's finest city. Betelnut (named after the areca nut that's wrapped with betel leaf and chewed for its exhilarating lift) is modeled after the pejiu wu, or "beer house," found throughout Southeast Asia.
Our Pejiu Wu has been described as everything from "woodsy country Asian" to "sexy back alley." Opened in September 1995, it was one of five nominees for the James Beard Foundation's Best New Restaurant Award. Betelnut also was voted "Hottest New Restaurant" by the San Francisco Chronicle and “Hottest Restaurant in the Country" by the Boston Globe. Today, it remains one of the Bay Area's most sought after restaurant destinations.
[2] If you’re not from San Francisco, please read http://www.sfweekly.com/issues/2001-01-24/postscript.html before sending me your bitter email.
Recommended:
No
Kid Friendliness: No
Vegetarian Friendly: Yes
Notes, Tips or Menu Recommendations It's rarely a good idea to date a woman who lives alone, with cats.
Best Suited For: Trendy Crowd
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Mr.Eyore
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Reviews written: 129
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I come for the pervasive sense of elitist self-importance and semi-witty expressions of faux camaraderie
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