I'm not exactly what you'd call a Britney Spears fan. Most of the time, I'm annoyed with her for intentionally trying to rape my ear canals-- a prime example is absolute crap she put out there with 2008's Circus. Blackout was released in 2007, around the time I was working in a CD store for the holidays-- the album was on constant repeat. After having it drilled into my head, I was able to find the good, the bad, the ugly, and the Britney in this strange collection of electro songs.

Cognitive dissonance is alive and kicking when I hear this album, but against my better judgment, some of these songs are good. But there is a common thread throughout every single track-- Britney has nothing to do with them and she doesn't bring anything to the table. Instead, the work of Danja and the other producers makes this album enjoyable, and had Swedish electropop-star Robyn actually finished recording Blackout's Piece of Me, I would be able to strongly enjoy this song. The song is a giant kiss-off to the media and is the middle finger portrayed by a song: I'm Ms. Oh-My-God-That-Britney's-Shameless; you want a piece of me? The song's lyrics are overall very clever, despite the idiotic line "Don't matter if I step on the scene or sneak away to the Philippines."

I remember watching Britney's embarrassing performance of Gimme More at the MTV VMAs, a number that reference Elvis's comeback. This would be the song that started it all-- this track overuses computerized sound effects to make Britney sound decent and then mess with her voice completely. This trend would be used on every single song thereafter-- that includes the ones on Circus (see Mannequin). So, we've established that this album is just a giant bundle of potential, but are there any songs at all that I can enjoy without thinking "Oh, if this weren't Britney's robotic voice.." ? Yes. Surprisingly, there is. There is one-- Heaven on Earth is the only track that delivers a complete package. This is the type of pop song that really suits Britney's rather limited vocal ability, and the only one where she shows the slightest hit on a real personality (rather than a fake Tough-B*tch persona). The song draws from New Order, Modern English, and Madonna to make an updated 1980s dance classic.

That's the highest this record gets, because we have tracks like Get Naked which is 99.9% not her voice, and it's really, really evident. The vocals have slowed down to the point of it sounded like a dying Girl Talk, and I'm being completely serious. We already have Break the Ice, which is another song that could have been so much better, as the production is really strong. As with the bulk of Blackout, it's Britney's impersonal, generic, and downright terrible vocals that ruin it. Radar is a song that was re-released on Circus, and by that, I mean that it's the exact same version. If she was going to pick one song to use twice, why the hell did she choose this one? It's one of the worst on the entire record, because they didn't even try to mask the fact that Ms. Spears's drug use ruined any vocal ability she once had.

Blackout could have been incredible and ground-breaking. Stupidly, Britney's fake, robotic voice is at the reigns, and it ruins just about everything all of the potential. I could imagine Cyndi Lauper, Tiffany, Debbie Harry, Robyn (her back-up vocals on Piece of Me are still present), and even my beloved Madonna singing some of the tracks with some actual personality. Britney, you're done. Say goodnight.

Tracklist
"Gimme More"
"Piece of Me"
"Radar"
"Break The Ice"
"Heaven On Earth"
"Get Naked (I Got A Plan)"
"Freakshow"
"Toy Soldier"
"Hot as Ice"
"Ooh Ooh Baby"
"Perfect Lover"
"Why Should I Be Sad"

Recommended: No