jaxmom28's Full Review: Bobbi Brown Hydrating Face Cream
Stella! – A Streetcar Named Desire
Bobbi! Bahhhhbiiiiiiii! Bobbi Brown, you’re killing me, babe. Who formulated this gunk for you? Some drunken, algae-sniffing Smurf on a bad LSD trip? This Hydrating Face Cream is one of the most unpleasant things I’ve ever had slapped on me, and I’m a mom, so I’ve dealt with repulsive goopiness many, many times.
The Product
I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse. – The Godfather
I received a sample-sized, .24 fl oz / 7 ml pot of Brown’s Hydrating Face Cream free with my last order from their website. It arrived in a plain glass, screw-top jar with the standard upscale-chic black and white Bobbi Brown logo. The standard size for purchase is a 1.7 fl oz / 50ml pot currently available for $38.00 through Bobbi Brown and their retail outlets.
I do like Brown’s packaging: simple, yet elegant and timelessly understated, her packaging is right up my alley. Unfortunately, the face cream is not. One caveat here, folks: this review is based on one week’s worth of use. I simply could subject myself to the torture no longer.
Application
Now if you gonna stay cool, you got to wail. You got to put somethin' down. You got to make some jive.
- The Wild One
Unscrew the cap and dip your fingers in the goo. Spread goo on your face; try not to breathe. Wait many, many minutes for your face to feel dry. Eventually give up and get some blotting paper. Blot. Roll eyes and move on.
My Experience
The horror! The horror! – Apocalypse Now
Oh, sadly, my experience has not been good at all. It’s been pretty bad, actually; crummy and awful, even. First off, it is only packaged in a pot. I hate that. I hate dipping and redipping my fingers in any pot of cosmetic / cleanser / potential bacterial heaven. It drives me batty. I’d far prefer a pump. But, hey, this little doodad was free, so I thought I’d give it a shot.
Second, the “Face Cream,” and I use the term loosely, is more floury paste than cream. It’s a little thick and oddly dry, and I have to use much more to coat my face than either of the other moisturizers I routinely use (Lancôme’s Bienfait Total and Cetaphil). It’s greasy going on, and stays greasy all day long. My face gets oily enough, thankyouvery much, and doesn’t require assistance from some overpriced inedible roux.
And it’s not just an innocuous floury paste, it’s a floury paste made with nearly rancid grapeseed oil – you know, the oil that somehow makes it to the underside of the bottle without your knowledge, and manages to sit there, aging and unnoticed, until the day you accidentally touch the bottom, getting cruddy oil on your fingers, and leaving them feeling greasy and smelling like a Fry Daddy all day no matter how much you wash them?
The smell! The smell! Oy, but it is appalling. Blackboard chalk meets something vaguely nutlike – and old, far past it’s prime nut, at that – falls immediately in distaste and, after a little push from some (ack, what is that smell?) old-lady scent, gives birth to this monstrous creation.
Ingredients
I have seen the devil in my microscope. – The Island of Dr. Moreau
Dermatologist-tested.
From www.bobbibrown.com: “Formulated with Algae Extract, a hydrating botanical, and Kukui Nut Oil, a natural extract that effectively softens skin and prepares it for smooth, seamless makeup application.”
Neiman Marcus adds: “Anti-irritant and anti-inflammatory ingredients soothe and calm the skin.”
Now, kukui nut oil is famous in skincare for its apparent emollient properties and its anecdotal effectiveness in treating dry and/or sensitive skin issues (eczema, psoriasis) – all without being greasy. Though how a true oil manages to be non-greasy is totally beyond me; it’s a hazard inherent in being a lipid. Fats are greasy – period. It’s the ratio in which you mix fat with other ingredients that determines the greasiness of your final product, and this face cream appears to have too much oil.
Further, I personally prefer sweet almond oil for self-treating dermatitis; the results are much the same and the oil smells much better. Kukui, being more exotic, appears to be the ingredient of the moment, however, so we sacrifice smell for style. Given the option, I’d prefer a pleasing scent and texture to a nifty novelty on the ingredient list.
Update 02/27/04: Okay, so I've located the actual ingredients for this product: Water (aqua purificata) purified, Caprylic/capric triglyceride, Glycerin, Isostearyl neopentanoate, Stearic acid, Hydrogenated vegetable oil, Dimethicone, Cetyl alcohol, Dea-cetyl phosphate, Lime (citrus aurantifolia) juice, Tocopheryl acetate, Aloe vera (aloe barbadensis) gel, Lemon (citrus limonum) juice powder, Sodium pca, Sodium hyaluronate, Retinyl palmitate, Magnesium ascorbyl phosphate, Tocopherol, Hydroxypropyl methylcellulose, Stearyl alcohol, Disodium edta, Phenoxyethanol, Methylparaben, Propylparaben, Ethylparaben, Butylparaben, FD&C yellow no. 5 (CI 19140), FD&C red no. 4 (CI 14700).
Do you see Kukui Nut in there anywhere? I sure don't. I do see Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil, but I guaran-darn-tee you that it ain't the same thing. Run away, run away!!!! /end update
Overall Recommendation
I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender! – On the Waterfront
In short, I thought Bobbi Brown’s Hydrating Face Cream was icky and had no redeeming qualities. Even being free couldn’t save it from being one of the most noxious cosmetics / skincare products I have ever encountered. Avoid it like Brando does the Oscars.
This nourishing cream replenishes skin with the moisture it loses daily. Formulated with algae extract, a hydrating botanical, and kukui nut oil, a na...More at Nordstrom
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