matthewn's Full Review: Marci Shimoff and Carol Kline - Happy for No Reaso...
I have not read many books over the past three or four years. Not only that, I have not gotten through some of those books. And.....I did not get around to writing an Epinions review. So, I'm a bit rusty, my fellow Epinions friends.
This book I have read is called Happy for No Reason by Marci Shimoff. I was bored reading the usual financial books I read while browsing my local Barnes and Noble one fine Saturday morning, and then I came across this book. I thought, "Oh, god, not another fluff, shove-sunshine-up-your-a$$ type of book." To my surprise, I couldn't stop reading the book at the store. This rarely happens anymore for me. ("Come on, get to the review already! Nobody cares what you did at Barnes and Noble, Matthewn.")
What I liked about this book was talking about being idependently happy, a phrase I have used since this book. Think about it. Think of some things you've accomplished over your life, whether that be a perfect relationship, a career, a project, getting a college degree, etc. Seriously, did it really make you happy in the long run? Sure, you were temporarily ecstatic (I know I am/was in situations like that), but part of you goes back to being depressed or just feeling "bleh". Not only that, sometimes a part of you feels empty or hollow when you have accomplished some of those goals because you feel like you had to sacrifice something you really didn't want to in order to achieve it. We probably all know people like that, too and I myself have felt this way whenever I got a new girlfriend or different career or so forth. The author's explanation is that we all have a happiness set-point, but the goal is to be able to raise that happiness setpoint so that we don't rely on external things to make us happy (relationships, material things, careers, drugs, engaging in thrillseeking, etc.)
Another thing I like and implemented was an exercise called the Sedona Method. You hold a pen tightly in your hand and squeeze it really hard. It will hurt at first, but soon after you won't even notice it. Your hand is supposed to be you, your mind, that is; the pen represents those negative feelings and emotions that are consuming you. Roll the pen in your hand. You will notice that the pen (ie, your feelings and thoughts) are not really a part of you. You have to drop the pen (ie, let go of your feelings.) I have done that lately when I start to get frustrated or I'm in a funk. Sounds corny, but it does seem to help. This brought up another memorable quote from this book, "Don't believe everything you think."
Another example the author talked about was an old Native American story. The old Indian grandfather tells his son that we have two wovles in us. One wolf represents negativity, hate, resentment, jealousy, etc. The other wolf represents postivite thoughts, such as kindness, generosity, forgiveness, compassion and so forth. How happy you ultimately are in your life depends upon which wolf you feed. It's almost kind of like in Christianity where you have the devil on your shoulder (the evil) and the angel (the good).
The real life examples in this book are very compelling and add credibility to the philosophy of happy for no reason. You have examples of someone who's father worked under Saddam Hussein in the 80s to people surviving the Holcaust to people going blind to people and people growing up poor and losing their businesses/wealth or people who weren't always the best-looking and/or highest social status, yet they still kept upbeat and happy despite the situation they were in. Sure, maybe they were putting on a good face, but it's the concept that is important.
The only con is that this book is long and I am kind of turned off by that whole "The Secret" and "Law of Attraction" philosophy that crept up in this book at times. Yes, I understand the basic idea behind that is that whatever we have in our lives, whether we consider it good or bad, is because we have done something to attract to us and if we want certain things, then we need to do those things in order to attract what we want. I think it sounds a little too hokey pokey. Not only that, but I also think it goes against the idea of being happy for no reason. I mean, my understanding is that most people (even I'm guilty of doing this) go after things they think will make them happy.
Anyhow, if you have a chance, give this book a read.
From The Publisher What would it take to make you happy? A fulfilling career, a big bank account, or the perfect mate? What if it didn t take anything...More at Buy.com Marketplaces
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