I enjoyed Stephen J. Cannell's Hollywood Tough. But, oddly, I enjoyed it for all the wrong reasons. If only it had been meant to be a comedy! Because I laughed out loud, at the wacky characters and terrifically funny dialogue. Unfortunately, though, this novel is supposed to be a serious murder mystery. On that level, it completely disappoints.

The murder

Detective Shane Scully attends a party, where he runs into an old informant, Nicky Marcella. Nicky tells Shane that he's now a legitimate movie producer. Furthermore, he remembers an old friend, Carol, who would be the perfect actress to star in his upcoming project, if only he could find her. Say... could Shane possibly use his cop-connections to locate her? Pretty please! So, Shane finds her, a junkie selling her body for drug money. Still there's something touching about her vulnerability, and Shane finds himself strangely drawn to her. But, the next thing we know, she's dead. Coincidence? Or did Nicky use Shane to find her just so he could have her killed?

That's the mystery we need to solve.

So what happens next?

Well, pretty much nothing. For the middle three quarters of the book. Or, more accurately, nothing happens in regards to the murder mystery. That's right. The murder happens right away, and is solved at the end, but the entire middle of the book is spent dealing with the aforementioned wacky characters, and two subplots that have very little to do with the main plot.

One subplot deals with Shane's wife and boss Alexa. She's the Head of Detectives at the LAPD, investigating a series of gang-related murders in the tough streets of LA. The whole purpose of this plot, I think, is to keep Alexa busy so she doesn't have time to notice what hubby's doing. Because, as his boss, she might not approve of some of his methods when it comes to solving Carol's murder.

The other subplot deals with their friend Nora's new fiancé, Farrell. Shane overhears Farrell make a joke about how he got rid of his two previous wives (via well-timed food poisoning incidents) and now Shane wonders if it really was joke, or is there more behind it. The whole purpose of this plot is... well... I don't know. It has nothing to do with the main story and it goes pretty much nowhere.

So what's so funny?

In order to investigate the murder, Shane goes undercover as a movie producer. This brings him in contact with directors, actors, screen writers and producers. The author seems to be quite prejudiced against Hollywood and the entire movie-making industry, based upon the lunatic characters portrayed.

First there's Nicky, the guy who asked Shane to find Carol in the first place. He's Italian, but realizes that the Jews get all the respect in Hollywood. So, he learns several Yiddish phrases, and tosses them into conversation wherever he can. Whether they're appropriate or not.

Then there's the big tough mob boss, Valentine. He's planning to "own" a piece of Hollywood by controlling the unions. He's not above killing anyone who gets in the way of his plans. But, in between the killings, he'll stop to lecture you on the health benefits of the vegan lifestyle.

Then there's the outrageous movie star Michael Fallon. He's got a list of phobias a mile long. OK - so he doesn't shake hands for fear of the germs, that's not so bad. But, he also refuses to work with any left-handed people and he must eat something every forty two minutes on the dot. Can you just imagine having to work around this guy's schedule!

There's the ultra-religious screen writer and the off-the-wall producer. Shane has to cater to all of them in order to maintain his cover, and solve the murder. Things spiral completely out of control, as these wacky characters struggle to produce a movie, that was never supposed to be made in the first place. All while Shane's bosses at the LAPD pressure him to wrap things up quickly, and get them the heck out of the movie business, before actual filming begins!

Overall

This is a funny book, one that had me laughing out loud. I truly enjoyed it. But, it fails completely when it comes to being a murder mystery. It seems as if the author forgot about poor Carol, as he got tangled up in all the silliness. Then, toward the very end, he suddenly remembered this is supposed to be a murder mystery, and it all gets wrapped up in the blink of an eye. Since this book is supposed to be a murder mystery, not a comedy, I can't in good faith recommend it. Perhaps Cannell should try his hand as a comedy-writer, instead?




Recommended: No