So, How Do You Survive the Loss of Parents?
Written: Jun 16 '03
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Tells the stories of several people in grief counseling.
Cons: Interesting, but not that helpful for me.
The Bottom Line: The book isn't bad. It's just not that helpful.
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| lizf's Full Review: Lois F. Akner and Catherine Whitney - How to Survi... |
Everyone can master a grief but he that has it.
-- William Shakespeare
Lois F.Akner, a clinical social worker wrote How to Survive the Loss of Parents. It is an interesting and quick read, but I was left asking myself... so how do I survive this?
Akner runs a six week grief counseling group. This book is the telling of one group that went through her program. Using only first names, she describes the people in the group and the type of loss of they are dealing with. One person lost their parent in a tragic accident, others after long illnesses, and one woman, at an age some would consider bordering on elderly, is dealing with the loss of her aged mother.
The book was a pretty quick read. It wasn't taxing in the slightest; but it wasn't that helpful either. Sure, it's always good to know your not the only person in the world that's suffering. Having your experience validated by others is important. But this book was lacking something. It didn't touch me. At the end I was unmoved.
The author suggests many of the standard counseling techniques, such as writing letters to the person who has passed. But I didn't find anything new in her work. I realize there are no magic answers to dealing with grief, but the book offers very little in the way of practical advice.
I get the feeling Akner was just telling stories. It was almost like this book was therapy for her. She has been hearing all these stories of grief and loss -- and she needed a place to vent so she wrote a book.
In the book she describes the people who come to see her:
The people who come to these groups are experiencing real agony because a parent has died. They are in mourning, and the experience has knocked all the wind out of their sails. Their grief is often all-consuming. As one woman put it, most graphically, "Every day of my life I look down a long, dark tunnel and see no glimmer of light. " They've come to me, to this group, because they can't find a way to recover on their own.
Unfortunately, her book described me, but I'm still searching for my way to recover. I'm happy to report that most of the people she depicts in the book are able to move on and begin to resolve their grief by the end of the sessions. I guess, the real take-away message from the book is that we need support, human contact, and perhaps sometimes therapy to handle the overwhelming grief.
Recommended:
No
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lizf
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Location: VA
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About Me:
A writer is a controlled schizophrenic. Edward Albee
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