I have to admit that the first time I saw this book in a book store I walked away. I was 16 and good girls didn't think about sex, let alone read about it. Well not to long after that I was at the library and I happened upon Nancy Friday's My Secret Garden, again. I decided to take a look, I mean after all it couldn't hurt to just read a little. Never before had I read so many graphic discussions of sex.

Of course at the age of 16 you are a sexual being but I thought that my fantasies might be abnormal or perverted. I was worried, although I didn't give it too much thought, that other women did not fantasize to the extent or extremes that I did. Well Nancy Friday's book really blew me away.

Let me explain how the book is set up. Nancy Friday took out ads in respectable national magazines asking for women of all backgrounds to write down their sexual fantasies and mail them to her. The women were asked to write down, in great detail, these fantasies. There are first names after each of the fantasies and although they are certainly fake names, it does make the reading more personal. The book is set up in sections that focus on a particular fantasy subject or group, such as group sex and lesbianism.

When I was reading this book I cam upon fantasies that revolted but stimulated me. Things I had never really thought about. These fantasies range from tame to extreme: masturbation, oral sex, lesbian sex, group sex, anal sex, and far more that I consider to extreme to mention on a public website. To some these subjects seem crude, things you just do not do. Well I am here to say that women do fantasize, a lot. Reading this book will open your mind to what women are really thinking. It will excite and turn you on, no matter who you are.

Prior to reading this book I fantasized but they were all pretty tame. I guess you could have even called them repressed. You know the kind: rich handsome man seduces young innocent girl. I think I believed you needed a man to take charge in sexual relations, even in my personal fantasies. This book teaches women that it is ok to think about new and exciting sexual scenarios. It liberates the reader to explore their own self, leading them to be happier and more knowledgeable about what they really want from a partner, and even from their life.

My Secret Garden taught me that I was normal. I learned that good girls do have fantasies and they do not have to revolve around a man taking control, or even a man at all. This book eased my fears and helped me understand my thoughts and feelings. It taught me that fantasizing it healthy, and does not indicate that you are unfulfilled sexually or otherwise. Fantasizing does not mean that you love your partner or lover less, it just means you are exploring your own ideas and turn-ons. Another big point that this book brings across is that fantasizing about a situation does not mean you want to be cast it that position in real life. Take me for example, while fantasizing about group sex might turn me on (and it might not), that does not mean that I would ever want to engage in such activity in real life. This book draws the line between fantasy and reality. Friday organizes the fantasies and her own commentary in such a way that makes you feel comfortable reading such erotic material.

Please know that this is a very erotic book. Most of the letters are highly graphic and use slang terms. I recommend it for anyone over the age of 18 although it wouldn't hurt a slightly younger audience. This book can only enhance a young woman's sense of self and independence. All people would do well to read this book, however, because it will open up your mind to the limitless possibilities of fantasy.

Nancy Friday has written several other books on female fantasies, and one of male fantasies. One favorite of mine is Women on Top, published in 1991. It offers the same type of information but the reader can see a trend of female liberalization over the last two decades.

This book helped me plant, and now tend, my own secret garden. It will do the same for you. Two thumbs up!

Recommended: Yes