Children learn from a combination of repetition, mimicry, and trial and error. Many children's books work off these ideas by keeping the message simple and direct and sentences short. The Pat the Bunny series of titles by Dorothy Kunhardt, for example, introduces toddlers to concepts such as sharing, helping others, and solving problems. Toddlers learn to recognize and follow the stories fairly quickly. It usually featured a brother and sister named Paul and Judy.

Husbands are another story. The common stereotype of men is that they are pigs: selfish, obstinate, and fairly insensitive to the needs of others. This behavior gets worse in marriage.True or false?

[This is less a value judgment and more of a factual statement regarding men's behavior in marriage: many wives share this view, with or without the resulting PMS.]

So the question for women trapped in these disappointing "you're not the man I married" marriages is "can you retrain your man?" Can your husband stop being the pathetic man-creature that he is with toddler-like lessons about life?

Possibly. If not, you can still get a laugh out of Pat the Husband: A Parody, written by Kate Merrow Nelligan, a woman, and quite possibly a wife who has memorialized her husband's pathetic nature with this book, published by Cider Mill Press Publishers (2008).

Paul and Judy are husband and wife in this updated version of the long-time children's classic. The board book uses nine scenes to illustrate Paul's ineptitude and general slovenliness.

Parody is Truth  as Seen Through a Mirror
The premise in this somewhat wicked parody is simple. Paul is an idiot. Judy has suffered long enough. Paul wants some action, or IT in the parlance of the book.  Can you, the reader, assist Paul in dealing with his issues in order to achieve his goal (sex)?

But beware:

Judy is hormonal.
Paul is a hormone.
Sometimes these two things don't mix very well.
Judy needs to talk.
Paul needs "IT".
Paul will need to listen to Judy and be supportive of her to get what he wants. [p.16]

The sentences are short enough to avoid taxing the mature male mind, or disturb it with big words and multiple-choice situations. The reader must assist Paul in completing some tasks that challenge men's minds in order to achieve the goal of IT. These tasks include dealing with illness, finding things, asking for directions, and using proper grooming.

The design of the book (board design, colors, and reader options) mimics Kunhardt's classics very closely, except for the sex thing, of course. The illustrations are simple and somewhat life-like. The book uses pastel colors throughout. Paul is a blond, as is Judy (no value judgment intended).

It is not that difficult to imagine but there are many Paul-like husband-man-creatures out there. If your husband's a Paul, he may not find this book funny or even see himself in it. Irony is far richer than Wall Street (unless you got a bailout).

In such cases, a visit to the doctor's office for a posterior stick implant removal may be in order. Otherwise, you (the wife) can enjoy Pat the Husband on your own, secretly. He'll never know.

Pat the Husband is best approached as a stocking-stuffer idea delivered with a smile. It is a gift book ($9.95 list price) and described as "An interactive approach to understanding your man."

It got a bunch of laughs as it was passed around the room at a recent holiday get-together. There were few guffaws but snickers made an appearance. The humor-challenged are forewarned. (Three stars)

Sources
www.cidermillpress.com

Recommended: Yes