Telynor's write-off was a great idea...what book would you make into a movie if you could? The possibilities are endless, but as usual when faced with such questions (like, "What would you like for your birthday?" or "Are you ready to order?") my mind goes frustratingly blank. There were many books I thought would make fine movies, but the main problem was...well...many of them already were movies. Hmmmm.

In the end, I decided to go with Margaret George's The Autobiography of Henry VIII (With Notes by his Fool, Will Somers. Why this book? It's an incredibly rich story of the infamous King Henry VIII, told from his own perspective (via journal) and with sharp, insightful commentary from Somers, who was the King's jester and friend. Tudor history has plentiful records and plenty of excitement, but the best thing about this book are the voices. Henry VIII is more lifelike than I've ever seen him in any other fiction book, and Somers (who may or may not be a real character, I'm not sure) is equally intriguing, especially since he is not afraid to criticize the actions of his king.

In fact, the book (and the characters) is so rich in detail and life that I'm not sure a movie could do them justice...but damn, it would be fun to try.


The Story

Is there anyone who hasn't heard of Henry VIII? Most people are familiar with the controversy surrounding his six wives. There is Katherine of Aragon, a Spanish princess formerly wed to Henry's older brother Arthur, who died and left Henry as heir to the English throne. Anne Boleyn, called "The Great (W)hore"* and other less than complimentary names, often viewed by history as a power-mad seductress, the reason Henry VIII broke from the Catholic Church. Jane Seymour, the quiet and retiring lady-in-waiting who married Henry and bore him his only legitimate son and died soon after. Anne of Cleves, the "Flanders mare" whose ugliness shocked Henry so that he was unable to consummate their wedding night, and whose marriage was later annulled as she became King's "honored sister". Catherine Howard, young, beautiful and flighty, who broke the king's heart when her adulterous affairs were discovered. And Katherine Parr, the lovely widow of Henry's old age, who debated theology with him and nursed him until he died. Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived.

* My apologies, Epinions won't let me write out that word in full.

But the book really starts with Will Somers' letter to Catherine Carey, daughter of Mary Boleyn, who was once mistress to the king as well as Anne Boleyn's older sister. He writes in a time after Henry VIII's death, when his oldest daughter Mary sits upon the throne. Like many Protestants, Catherine Carey and her husband have fled England to avoid persecution, so Will's letter is a secret. In it, he drops a bomb... Catherine, Somers writes, is not the daughter of William Carey as she supposed, but rather the king himself. He encloses her true father's journal, the memoirs of none other than Henry VIII, urging Catherine to read it so that she may know him and honor him.

The journal began as a diversion for Henry during the times when his leg would act up and force him to remain in seclusion and still for long periods of time. He begins with his childhood, the adoration of his parents, the longing for his father's approval, and the jealousy of his brother Arthur--who would become king and marry the beautiful Katherine, while Henry was destined for the Church. Henry reveals his private thoughts about becoming king, and writes of his own perspective behind his separation from the Church, and all six of his marriages. From time to time, Will interjects with his own rememberances, including something Henry neglected to write about, or did not know.


The Good Stuff

Margarget George has really done her research with this novel. Not only is Henry's personality fleshed out in a realistic manner, but many of the letters, poems, etc. she includes are real. Katherine's last letter to Henry before her death, for example, where she writes that she desires nothing more than to see him once again. Real also are Henry's love letters to Anne Boleyn, where he pleads for her to become his mistress.

I also recognize many real-life events in the novel, like Mary having to serve the Princess Elizabeth, Henry's meeting with King Francois of France on the Field of Gold, Anne Boleyn's trial prior to her beheading, and the testimony of Catherine Howard when she was accused of adultery. Touches like this fit seamlessly into the story, recognizable mainly because I'd seen references to them in non-fiction work. This is not to say that there isn't some creative license taken with the characters, but George has really incorporated fact with fiction amazingly well... Enough fact to make it plausible even to people familiar with the time period, and enough fiction to breathe life into her characters.

And oh, what characters they are! Henry VIII himself is wonderfully illustrated in his own words, and the author handles this with a masterful touch. Most often, you have to read between the lines to get his true character, rather than trusting Henry's perceptions and biases--just like you would with a real journal. Henry is proud, confident (sometimes overly confident) and complex. All his decisions are rationalized in his own mind until they make perfect sense to him. For example, his first divorce. Henry's first sight of Katherine illustrates how taken he was with her...initially. He wrote from a boy's perspective, impulsive an inclined towards heroic acts:

"She was beautiful--like a maiden in the _Morte d'Arthur_, like the fair Elaine, the lovely Enid. Or Andromeda, chained to a rock, awaiting rescue by Perseus... All the heroines of literature came to life for me as I stared at Katherine... Doubtless you will say I was only a boy, a ten-year-old boy, and that I had not even spoken to her, and that it was therefore impossible for me to love her. But I did. I did!"

But later, problems crop up. According to strict Biblical interpretation, it is unlawful for a man to marry his dead brother's wife. Henry ignores this in the beginning because he wants to marry Katherine so badly, but he chooses to make an issue later on, when he no longer wishes to remain in the marriage. To you or I, this seems pretty hypocritical. But Henry makes it a matter of conscience. Bit by bit, he convinces himself that this "discovery" of unlawful marriage is not merely a convenient way to get rid of his unwanted wife, but some kind of divine warning he's failed to heed and must obey now at the peril of his life and rule. To be sure, he's deluding himself, but the way George has written the novel, Henry truly believes that he is doing is right--he has convinced himself of it.

To me, that sounds entirely keeping with what I know of Henry VIII and his character. He was highly intelligent and learned, but also a man of passion. Sometimes that passion for a particular woman, combined with his great need of an heir drove him to use his mighty brain to give his conscience an easy out. His personality is probably best revealed in what he writes about his wives.

Of Anne Boleyn, he wrote:

"She wore a gown of yellow satin and her black hair fell down over her bodice--thick and lustrous and (I somehow knew) with a perfume of its own... She was not beautiful... She had nothing of the beauty I had come to expect of court women, none of the light, plump prettiness that honeyed one's hours. She was wild and dark and strange, and my first awareness of her was that she was staring at me. As I looked back at her, sternly, she did not drop her eyes... I felt unreasoning fear, and then something else..."


Of Jane Seymour:

"She was small, and had honey-coloured hair. But these were not the main things I noted upon seeing her. Her overriding feature was paleness. A spider-web. A waning moon. A reflection of an old linen gown in a deep, shrouded well."


Of Anne of Cleves:

"Her face was repulsive! It was brown as a mummy's, and covered all over with pits and smallpox scars."


Of Catherine Howard:

"She was the most sensual creature I had ever touched, the mostly fleshly and entirely of the senses, of this earth..."

Of Katherine Parr:

The widow Parr--nay, Kate--was charity, and love, and light... I realized I had not thought about my 'madness' for the past six hours. Her serene sanity had banished it, had made it an absurdity."


Henry's choice of wives reflects his state of mind at the time. Katherine of Aragon was the wife was his youth, his first love when he was still young and idealistic. Anne Boleyn was the one who introduced him to a world of sensual pleasures. Jane Seymour's purity and loyalty soothed his wounds after he discovered Anne's infidelity, and the fact that she bore him a son and died quickly probably contributed to the reason why Henry idolized her to the end of his days. (Out of all his wives, Jane is the one Henry chose to be buried by.) Anne of Cleves was to be a new Jane, beautiful and pure--but her looks disappointed Henry, who soon put her aside and gave her a favored position on par with the King's sister. Catherine Howard was Henry's attempt to recapture his youth. At a point when his body was aging and putting on fat, she made him feel vital again...until it was discovered she'd cuckholded him with one of Henry's body servants. Katherine Parr was a woman his spiritual and intellectual equal. In an age when he'd almost tired of physical love and its pitfalls, she provided the emotional stability and devotion he needed.

Margaret George has written Henry bigger than life. She reveals him as being entirely too human--a slave to his passions at times, but at other times coldly intellectual and political when he needs to be. He's complex and sometimes self-serving, but believes himself to be generous and loving. Overall, he can be a rather unpleasant man, but he never fails to enthrall you as a character.

Will Somers, despite his minor part in the book is equally interesting,and I was sorry not to read more about him. He was indeed the King's jester, but not a fool. His wry, blunt commentary was what drew Henry to him, and he continues even after Henry's death. His notes in the journal are full of nostalgia, insight, regret, even rage at his king for being blind to what others could see--like Anne Boleyn's greed, or Catherine Howard's flightiness and unsuitability as Queen. He's a man not afraid to tell it like it is, and his remarks are invaluable to the story.

Will is the first to point out when Henry is wrong or deluding himself about something, and it was Will's notes that really prompted me to read Henry's journal more critically. If I hadn't done so, I might well have been taken in my Henry's smooth rhetoric, but by reading critically, I got so much more out of the book. Each time I read it, I'm amazed by George's deft touch in creating two such engaging, well-developed characters that practically leap off the page.


Shortcomings

I've got two small issues that might detract from enjoyment of the book. One, it's incredibly long. If you've no patience for books heavy enough to defend yourself with during a mugging, you won't be happy with how long the autobiography is.

This is due in part to the fact that George explains a lot, since she cannot assume her readers will be familiar with Tudor history and the previous era of the Wars of the Roses. Most of the explaining is over and done with in the beginning, but it's still kind of unwieldy, since it's Henry explaining his own family history to his journal. You kind of have to question why he'd do that if it wasn't meant for public viewing (and it probably wasn't, considering the nature of some of his confessions). One doesn't usually go into great detail about things one already knows for the benefit of a book of private memoirs. I don't let it worry me too much, because I know that giving the historical context is a bit of necessary evil.


Casting Call!

Sorry to ramble on... As you can imagine, it would take quite an actor to do justice to such a character. I'm really hard-pressed to cast such a would-be film, especially since I'm bad with names. Overall, I think I would avoid the usual Hollywood stars for this movie. In other words, no Haley-Jo Osmond as the young Henry VIII, no Jennifer Love-Hewitt as Anne Boleyn, no Matt Damon as the young Will Somers. I'd choose to cast people you usually see in Shakespeare movies, British productions and films without Gwenyth Paltrow in them. Unfortunately, there are so many people in the book and I have such little knowledge of actors, there are many blank spaces. Please feel free to leave comments with your own suggestions and reasons why, I'd love to hear them!

For Anne Boleyn, I'd probably go with Helena Bonham-Carter. I've seen her play the mad Ophelia in Mel Gibson's version of Hamlet, and Anne has a certain degree of instability, if not out and out madness. I think B-C would do a good job of portraying Anne's ambition, bloodthirsty moments, her vulnerability, etc. Anne was actually not known as a beauty in her time, with contemporary descriptions commenting on her sallow skin and looks which were unfashionably dark. It was her charm and magnetic personality that drew men like moths to a flame, eyes which held promises of fulfillment which Anne did not necessarily deliver. (Some historians believe that her accusations of infidelity were manufactured, and in fact, only one man confessed to sexual intercourse with her, the other accused men maintained innocence.)

For Jane Seymour, I'd cast Claire Danes. Her performance as Beth in Little Women sort of reminds me of Jane Seymour. Out of all his wives, Jane seemed the most uneasy at being named Queen, although her relatives certainly were power-hungry enough to take advantage of that, particularly after Henry VIII died. Jane strikes me as a quiet, shy sort of woman, a complete contrast with Anne in that she didn't have Anne Boleyn's ruthlessness or ability to manipulate people to get what she wanted.

For Catherine Howard... I suppose it doesn't matter. She was young, pretty and a bit of a childish dimwit. It was her innocence (or outward appearance of innocence) that attracted Henry, so much so that he named her his "rose without a thorn". She was maybe 15 when married to Henry, then in his forties, and her character really isn't as complex as that of say, Katherine of Aragon or Anne Boleyn's. In some ways, her character reminds of me Lydia, in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, always giggly and flirtatious, but who landed herself in ruin by running away with an officer due to her lack of sense and propriety.

For Katherine Parr, I'd pick Emma Thompson, who I loved in Much Ado About Nothing as the sharp-tongued Beatrice. Katherine Parr definitely had backbone enough to stand up to Henry on religious issues, as she was more of a hard-core Protestant and Henry was not. And yet, there is some amount of self-sacrifice there, as she married Henry when she was truly in love with another man. I think Thompson would do justice to both the independent, strong-mindedness of Katherine, and yet convey her loyalty and tenderness with Henry.

For Henry VIII himself, I can't really think of anyone but Kenneth Branaugh. Like Henry, he's got a bold, over-the-top personality with enough gumption and majesty to carry off the role. Plus he looks good as a redhead. What more do you want? And he made a great Henry V, too.


Recommendations

Let's face it, I'm not cut out to be a director or producer. As much as I'd love to bring this wonderful book to the big screen, someone else could probably explain the transition better. All I can say is to read the book.

George has written other historic fiction, like, Mary Queen of Scotland and the Isles and The Memoirs of Cleopatra, but really, I consider this her best work because it does the best job of blending history with great story-telling. Common perceptions of Henry paint him as a fat lecher and murderer, when really, it was a heck of a lot more complicated than that. George doesn't take the easy way out by shortchanging his character, she goes all out. She tells us how Henry was the handsomest king of Europe in his youth, a man's man who was an able athlete, musician, poet, clever statesman and loving, if flawed father. Instead of giving us a caricature of a king, she gives us the real man, with human dreams, hopes and fears, and she does it with style.


This write off was to give Hollywood a good kick in the pants, and get some deserving books out there for folks to see on the big screen or at home. The premise was to take any novel or non-fiction book, and write a review of it, and cast the characters with the folks you think would play the part the best. I picked the BBC, A&E and PBS since they have the best track record for not ruining a book. The participants were: Pageclot, Sundrop, Eplovejoy, Machkick, Telynor and Arianej.





Recommended: Yes