This is a review of an adult book. If you are easily offended, please do not read this review. Seriously. I'm not kidding.

This is your last chance to stop reading.

So I am tripping my way through the database looking for a certain adult product. I tried a variety of spellings and just decided to enter "oral sex" into the search box. Yeah, brilliant. Then it turned into a game. "Have it, have it, want it, ohhhhh wow need that, have it, have it, hey I need to review that!" Win. So what detailed me from searching for the original product? No, it wasn't the "Accommodator" [which I can't believe is actually listed] it's the book The Ultimate Guide To Oral Sex: How To Give A Man Mind-Blowing Pleasure.

Yes, that really is a mouthful.

There are hundreds if not thousands of books about oral sex. Some tell you what to do, others what not to do. No one has gotten it right yet but I can't fault the authors because, when you stop and think about it, every person is different. What turns one guy one will turn another off. Then there are the basic things like licking someone's thighs or running your fingernails up the small of their back [both covered in the book]. That's pretty much a 99% guarantee that you are going to get the green light to proceed. The Ultimate Guide To Oral Sex: How To Give A Man Mind-Blowing Pleasure is a good introductory book about b-l-o-w-j-o-b-s. There, I said it. The "B" word. You get some great ideas on how to initiate things with a lover but most of the book is themed for male / female relations so girl on girl lesbian interludes aren't part of the package.

One of my biggest gripes about books that theme themselves as an "ultimate guide" is that they fall short in so many areas. Since I already threw up the disclaimer about this being an adult review I don't feel that I need to hold my punches about things. If you are in the midst of pleasuring your man and you want to take it to the next level, there is a right way and a wrong way to do it. Assuming that he will automatically make the move after six minutes is a bad way to plan things. Don't stop what you are doing, just look up and give him "that" look and he will know exactly what you mean. It’s the small stuff that is often overlooked and sometimes the small things are what can make a world of difference. If you have a little bit of oral sex experience but want to know more about how to really rock his world, you will have to do a little bit of outside research and have a partner that is will not only to experiment but to give you feedback.

Some things are just down right moronic. I am all for foreplay and the subtle art of teasing but standing across the room with a sucker in your mouth really isn’t going to do much. You have to really lay it on thick and give them visual stimulation. That's when their filth trap brain takes over and they start pulling out naughty bits from years ago. It's these small things that the book overlooks. It's kind of like when you are teaching a child something and you get frustrated with them because to you it is a simple task but to them it is something completely new. I seriously think that every woman that is not a lesbian or nun should be required to take a class on oral sex. If for nothing more than to know the basics of what to do and what not to do. This book does cover most of the basic things about performing oral sex and some of the 'advanced' things like being able to overcome a gag reflex and the whole "spit or swallow" conundrum. Kudos for being slightly graphic with the text but keeping it within the limits of good taste. To me this wasn't offensive in any way but given the subject matter of it, I am sure that it would turn more than a few faces red if it were left out on a coffee table or spotted on a bookshelf.

The Ultimate Guide To Oral Sex: How To Give A Man Mind-Blowing Pleasure has the token "50 Tips To Orally Pleasing A Man" guide. There is nothing new here. If you have ever had a penis in your mouth, you already know over half of these 'tips'. Some of the good ones include using ice cubes to cool your mouth off before an oral encounter, creative uses for foods like whipped cream and chocolate syrup, the art of talking dirty and easy ways to get him to return the favor. You aren't going to be performing like a porn star after reading this but in reality, porn stars aren't all that great at what they do in regards to oral sex. If some chick spent the entire time with it down her throat, well, it wouldn't really be all that stimulating to watch. I may just ruin porn flicks for guys by saying this but the next time you happen upon an adult film – resist the urge to rub one out and pay attention to what is happening. Chicks aren't really doing a lot of work down there. Is it any wonder why female buy books like this? If porn flicks are what is educating women on how to give a good b-l-o-w-j-o-b then there is something really, really wrong.

This is a book that chicks can read and digest without having to have a man in the room. There are certain things that will stick with you like using your teeth on his penis [gently ladies, gently, don't go Cujo on him], making sure that you take your time when you are trying to swallow him and that there is enough saliva / lube for such actions. Everything in the book is helpful but there are some things that are skipped over like using your hands and mouth at the same time. That is something that needs at least a whole page of explaining, not three sentences. Not every chick is going to know that you can do both at the same time and it can feel great for the guy. If you are having problems with your man not being vocal enough, there are some great suggestions on how to get him to tell you what feels good, what he likes and trying to get him to vocalize the things he wants you to do. For some guys that is easier thought than done. More than a "book" about giving great oral sex, this is sort of a grouping of ideas and suggestions on how to get him off. There are some step by step processes but I think that every female reading it is going to come up with her own conclusions on what would work best with her mate.

Is this something that a gay man could read and learn from? Probably not. Most of it is themed towards women and how chicks should act towards men when it comes to oral sex. There is a huge difference between two men engaging in oral sex and the male / female scene. Men have the equipment, we are just temporary oral guardians. Of course you could read this with your man and have a lot of fun with it. If you are both interested in experimenting and are open minded but a little on the green side, there are some great 'ice breakers' in the book that can make awkward situations a little easier to tackle.

Sometimes it's the little things that make a huge difference when pleasuring your man orally. The book does a great job of pointing out things that are obvious but not obvious at the moment. Things like saying "Hey, are you in the mood for a b-l-o-w-j-o-b" don't get nearly the same reaction as leaning in close to someone, letting out a sigh and saying, "I want to suck you dry". Same meaning, completely different wording. I think you know which would get the better reaction. The Ultimate Guide To Oral Sex: How To Give A Man Mind-Blowing Pleasure offers up some interesting ways to get the oral sex process started without it seeming like it is a run of the mill event or too pushy. Aggressiveness has its place and sometimes that can take a while for two people to get 'comfortable' being in that type of a scenario.

All in all this was a good read but I didn't really come across anything that was mind blowing or that I felt compelled to write down on a Post-It Note to further explore. I do recommend this to any female that wants to further her oral sex skills beyond the usual "three minute encounter in between ESPN updates". It touches on some great points about open lines of communication and trying new things with foods, dirty talk and public encounters but there is no talk of anal explorations or toys outside of it being mentioned in passing a few times.

Please be aware that there are a plethora of books with similar titles and some of them are extremely explicit in tone and imagery. As I said, I was not offended by this book or its contents but I am not exactly easy to offend. A good example of that is the book The Ultimate Guide To Fellatio: How To Go Down on A Man and Give Him Mind-Blowing Pleasure. Almost identical title but totally different books and authors.



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Recommended: Yes