The problem with You Can Get Arrested for That (2 Guys, 25 Dumb Laws, 1 Absurd American Crime Spree) is not with the premise (breaking out-of-date and ridiculous-sounding laws) but the execution of said crime spree by the author (Rich Smith) and his travelling companion (Luke Bateman). Essentially, the book is like that of a drunken bet (though it was devised in sober moments) that is never as funny the next morning and leads only to future rejoinders of “remember that time you…?” [I don't either.]

To wit: the book is deeply flawed built on the premise alone. Smith essentially used one book (The World’s Stupidest Laws by David Crombie) and a Web site (www.dumblaws.com) as his basic research and that was pretty much it. Never mind the fact that a deeper search would invariably reveal that many of the laws are no longer enforced (if still on the books), repealed, and/or so out-of-date that they are essentially nonexistent in today’s world.

The laws in question are things like no fishing in pajamas, no drinking out of bucket, no tying a giraffe to a lamp post, no eating garlic within three hours of going to a movie, no eating while swimming, etc. Silly stuff and not very interesting either, especially without knowing the context in which the laws are enacted.

Smith would be breaking laws that many people, including police officers, had never heard of; therefore, his chance of arrest was fairly negligible. There was little risk attached to this so-called “crime spree,” outside of a speeding ticket and possible summons here and there.

The premise of the book is on that point (risk) somewhat disingenuous. There is also the question of what functions as absurdity here as well. If few people know you’re actually breaking a forgotten law, where’s the absurdity in that? The book promises more than it delivers. Smith does not seek out the police and/or other legal experts as he travels coast to coast in order to break these laws. He never attempts to fully explain the laws in the first place, and the only documentation that he has, in fact broken the law, are photos snapped by Bateman of each deed.

By not giving the context of the laws he attempts to break, especially as to why they were enacted in the first place, the book loses what little charm it had going for it. It’s hard to judge the absurdity of the crime spree without the necessary supporting evidence and discussion of intent.

Essentially, the book works only as an accidental travelogue and only on the surface, if that. Smith and Bateman drive cross-country, stop at rest stops to get motel coupons, find a room and a bar. They do their crime in the few hours they allot to it and then drive to the next one. Their crime can take as little as five minutes to complete and then they are gone. End of story.

There are minor moments of comedy as Smith and Bateman have to explain what they are doing now and again. Most Americans are helpful and polite to them along the way. The failures that they do find themselves up against are their own. Smith fails to plan it out all that well and rarely seeks the help he could have used in order to meet all the challenges he set for himself.

[Beer Note: The reader learns that Smith and Bateman are lager beer lovers, yet they seemingly spend the entire trip drinking Budweiser and going to Hooters. This struck me as further evidence of their lack of interest in the possibilities of the trip cross-country. Or, perhaps that is just the difference in our ages and taste buds. Here they are in America (two guys with no worries), and they never attempt to find local beers of interest? Bizarre. These two are not rocket scientists by any means.]

There are only two points in the book where Smith shows any real zest for his trip. In one instance, they are almost shot in Chicago as he and Bateman stumble into a street gang area and the colors they display (the Cornish flag) in their car are very similar to that of the street gang. The police stop them with guns drawn. [They bought the flag in Mineral Point, Wisconsin which is a sister city to their town of Redruth in Cornwall.]

In Iowa they travel to a town to break a law that states it’s illegal for any kiss to last longer than five minutes. Smith describes Fontanelle, Iowa, thusly:

I’m sure the 675 people who inhabit Fontanelle love living there, but from my first impressions of the town I can’t think why. It’s a town in the middle of a collection of huge fields in the middle of a state in the middle of the country. In whatever direction you choose to leave, you’re presented with the same thing — nothing. It may not have been an Arizona desert town, miles from civilization and yards from cacti, but to me, Fontanelle, a speck amongst meadows and endless flat greenery, seemed just as isolated. I parked the car and entered a local shop located on Main Street — a totally undeserved and unjustified title that made a mockery of other Main Streets around the world. [page 86]

Needless to say, no one agrees to kiss Smith in Fontanelle, Iowa.

In the end, reading You Can Get Arrested for That (2 Guys, 25 Dumb Laws, 1 Absurd American Crime Spree) [2006, Three Rivers Press] is about as lame and pointless as traveling to Iowa to kiss someone for more than five minutes sounds (two stars).


Sources
www.crownpublishing.com

Recommended: No