Zombie Haiku... Long Live the Words of the Undead!
Written: Mar 03 '09 (Updated Mar 03 '09)
Product Rating:
Pros: Killer ending (and beginning and middle). Everything about this book is a killer.
Cons: This book does contribute somewhat to traditional zombie stereotypes.
The Bottom Line: I recommend Zombie Haiku to anyone with a dark sense of humor and a love of haunting poetry. This book is hilarious, disturbing and completely unique.
Montepenny's Full Review: Ryan Mecum - Zombie Haiku
Zombie haiku poetry.
Really, do I need to say anything else?
Everybody remembers haikus, right? We learned about them in 6th grade or so when our teacher told us that these little nuggets of prose consisted of three simple lines with the following syllable scheme: first line = 5 syllables; second line = 7 syllables; third line = 5 syllables. That’s it! That’s all you need to do in order to say you are a poet.
I remember my English teacher made us all write one before the end of the class. I can’t recall mine verbatim, but this would be pretty darn close:
When will the bell ring? Will English class ever end? No, no it will not.
Surprisingly, I did not win the Pulitzer that year, but I am over it by now. The rejection did inspire me to quit writing haikus altogether, but I still read them. After all, it isn’t often you can say you read 100 poems in one day and it only took you less than a half hour.
But eventually, I got tired of the art form. They usually focus on nature or philosophy, and ultimately, they end up sounding like a fortune cookie unless the author is quite talented. I stopped reading haikus for many years until the other day when I saw this book as I was perusing the aisle of a bookstore.
I read a sample and laughed out loud. I wanted to see if it was a fluke, so I read another, and laughed harder. I randomly found another poem in the book and laughed yet again. Needless to say, I was home soon and the book was read soon after that.
Pure genius. Without hyperbole, I dare say it is the greatest thing written about (and possibly by) the undead throughout all of history.
I've always felt a little sorry for zombies. I believe the undead are too often victims of discrimination. I mean, how many people really feel comfortable around them? Is that even the right term, or is that word biased? I think the proper term is undead-Americans.
Truth be told, most of us would not want a relative to marry one. It would only be a matter of time before our loved one became infected with the zombie virus and transformed into one themselves. Who wants that for their family? Call me an alivist (is that the proper term?), but I am quite afraid and repulsed by zombies.
Yet, despite that, I still believe zombies have rights, not the least of which is to be published. In this case, a guy named Ryan Mecum wrote a vivid first-hand account of the undead experience. It is quite chilling to read, and very educational. It is also (almost) completely in haiku form, which is inspired, if you ask me.
Perhaps the best effect of the book is that the narrator goes from human to zombie and we follow the journey through the magic of 5-7-5 syllabic lines.
To help you understand, let me give you an example of a haiku written by the narrator in zombie form:
You are so lucky that I do not remember how to use door knobs.
Good stuff, though it does play into the whole zombie stereotype of the undead being brainless. True, many zombies are not the smartest of creatures. Many have been known to eat their own limbs, for example. That is just a product of their unholy, unquenchable hunger -- which I should point out, is not a stereotype because it is true 100% of the time. Zombies can’t stop eating.
Of course, I find it ironic that a “brainless” creature would crave brains so much, and yet, the only way to kill (or re-kill) a zombie is destroy their brains. So, indeed, they have brains, or they wouldn’t be staggering around ever-so-slowly looking for more brains.
Anyway, back to the book. Here is another example: Biting into heads is much harder than it looks. The skull is feisty.
The book, to be sure, consists of very dark humor. If the idea of a pack of zombies eating a defenseless family in the middle of nowhere bothers or offends you, then this isn't your cup of tea.
Let's face it, an account of an undead creature who just wants to kill people and eat them is not going to make anybody's list of "feel-good" books of the year.
With that said, I will say the author is very gifted. Admittedly, it can get a bit repetitive reading 140 pages of nothing but zombie poems, but Mecum is creative and intelligent enough to tell a story and keep throwing curve balls at you along the way, especially in haikus. I find that the best haikus hit you hard with a last line that sneaks up on you. This book is full of such poems. I'd give more examples, but then why would you feel compelled to buy the book?
Go buy it. Now. Unless you don't like reading about brains splattering and the inherent difficulty in digesting hair and toenails.
Lord knows, I've become so enthralled by this new spin on an old art form that I came up with a few zombie haikus of my own. My old English teacher would be proud, or at least, profoundly frightened.
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