Cap'N Crunch's Peanut Butter Crunch Sweetened Corn & Oat Cereal 14oz

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Walking the Breakfast Plank

Feb 8, 2008
Review by  
Rated a Very Helpful Review

Pros:Heavenly taste.

Cons:Not, by any stretch, a "health" food.

The Bottom Line: I definitely recommend to anyone who's thrown dietary caution to the wind and decided to frolic in the verdant fields of milk-covered decadence.


Sometimes we strive for betterment. Sometimes we work to make choices that are healthier, more wholesome, more beneficial. Sometimes we seek out those things that will nourish our bodies and improve our health.

And then sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we eat Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter cereal, instead.

I have been a struggling Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter junkie for many, many years. Decades, in fact. I remember clearly my eating-disordered self and my equally disordered friends gathering in the living room, crouched around the table, bowls out, milk at the ready. After days of no food, we would descend upon this golden treasure, inhaling bowl after bowl until we felt we might burst. We’re talking multiple boxes here.

Yes, that’s what happens when pressure to be thin meets manna of the gods in the apartment of a teenage girl. You get feeding frenzies.

With age, I have learned to temper my wild appetite for Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter cereal. This morning, I had A bowl. Singular. Just one. Now, I admit it wasn’t a tiny little cup bowl (the recommended serving size). It was more like . . . twice that. Could I eat more than that? Oh, no doubt, and sometimes I do, but today was a good day.

I’m not sure why I still like Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter cereal. I think it might be . . . everything about it?

Smell

Oh, definitely the smell. Like homemade peanut butter cookies, the smell wafts up from the box and grabs you by the nose hairs. Once that toasty, peanutty, sweet smell has crawled up your nostrils, there really isn’t any escape.

Texture

One of the great things about abusing Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter cereal is that it comes with a built-in self correction/punishment feature. The texture. See, these little balls of heaven are crunchy. Not HARD crunchy like regular Cap’n Crunch, but a nice, crumbles in your mouth crunchy that manages to shred the top of the mouth pretty effectively. It’s a dose-dependent effect—the more you eat, the more strips of flesh you have hanging from the hard palate (the soft palate seems to escape mostly unscathed). Speaking of Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter cereal’s dangerous side, make sure you chew thoroughly—these little nuggets of goodness will merrily tear your throat open if swallowed whole. Speaking for myself, Cap’n Crunch and blood sauce are a bad mix.

Flavor

Heaven! I’m in heaven! Oh, there is nothing compares with a nice, fat, happy bowl of Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter cereal with a nice little pool of cold milk. Crunchy, toasty, peanutty, with just a little salt to make that peanut flavor sing in your mouth. Am I mixing metaphors? Probably--Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter cereal flusters me just a bit. It’s just that good. The peanutty taste lingers a long time, in hopes of luring you back, I believe. My husband and son will eat this stuff dry, right out of the box, but I really do require the milk. It awakens the flavor and softens the rough edges just a bit. Plus, it leaves you with leftover peanut-milk. Yay!

Bowl Life

Once milk is added, Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter cereal ages in the bowl strangely. The outside begins to slime up a bit as it softens, while the center holds its crunch for a fair bit of time. Even when totally soggy, the cereal retains a weird graininess. The dilemma, of course, is weighing the mouth damage that comes with dry eating against the lessened enjoyment of eating this soggy.

Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter comes in at 150 calories (that’s cups of cereal plus cup of skim milk). Honestly, I call bull. That’s less cereal and more milk that most people would eat. But it gives you a rough idea of what you’re in for when you pour a bowl. Low in fiber, no cholesterol, and not-too-troubling an amount of salt, Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter does the average “kids’ cereal” fortifying of a few vitamins and minerals. The first three ingredients are, in order, corn flour, sugar, and peanut butter. That pretty much covers it.

In all, I’m pretty fond of Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter cereal. It’s solidly okay. I . . . oh, who am I kidding. I could LIVE on this stuff, just this, some low-fat, organic milk, and my diet 7-ups, and I’m SET! Crunchy, toasty, happy, peanutty—what more could you ask of a cereal that is, by definition, a diet-busting disaster? When I want healthy (which is most of the time), I’ll grab my Fiber One. When I want to descend into decadent joy, I’ll grab my Cappy Crunch.


Recommend this product? Yes


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