This is the kind of thing I have wet dreams about.

Okay, so that probably wasn’t the best sentence with which to start my review. But it’s true. The first time I’d ever heard about Radiohead’s “nifty-keen” EP Com Lag was through an Epinions comment section, when shilmafone enthused about it and the fact that I should review it (I’d’ve had to mention him anyway, since I just used the word he’s probably copyrighted already-- that would be “nifty-keen”). Well, Mike, here I am-- reviewing Com Lag!

Of course, when I saw it sitting on the shelf of a music store that I frequent, I literally screamed ‘yes!!!’ ecstatically. And everyone in the shop turned and looked at me. But I didn’t care, because I held in my hand a prized possession, a collector’s item, something that some day someone would offer me $1000 (or the British equivalent) for-- but I wouldn’t give it to them, since it’s Radiohead. I guess what I’m trying to say is that, however extortionately priced Com Lag was, I’m honoured and proud to have it sitting next to all my other regular CDs. Radiohead hardly ever disappoint us with the quality of their liner notes, and this EP is no different. I mean… c’mon! Look at the front cover and _tell_ me you don’t wanna see what lurks inside! I’ll answer the question all of you are probably thinking of at this moment: yes, the inside is just as, if not more, insane than the outside.

Wow, I’ve made quite a big deal out of this little disc now, haven’t I? You probably want it, don’t you?

Com Lag is basically a collection of B-sides and live performances and remixes that are kind of related to the band’s latest full-length album, Hail To The Thief. They’ve a nice habit of releasing cool EPs from time to time-- as is evidenced by My Iron Lung (a frantic attempt to salvage some pride after their indifferent debut Pablo Honey and before their sophomore masterpiece The Bends) and Airbag (a delightfully eclectic collection of OK Computer B-sides and other nonsense). If you want to read an extensive history of the band’s music, albums, successes and failures, then check out my other Radiohead reviews. For now, here’s a brief summary: the band began their career by trying to craft an angsty “grunge” sound, but failed miserably before moving swiftly onto a more mature and deeply affecting style of rock, which alternated big ballads with ballsy rock-outs. They then wowed the critics by inserting some electronic dabblings into this indie rock, and proceeded subsequently to alienate half of their listening audience with one completely electronic album and another, truly schizophrenic one. They came back with a bang just last year, rolling all of their styles up into a big ball and tossing it at us, just to see what we’d make of it. And now we have more weirdness (as is their wont) with Com Lag.

The reason I say “weirdness” is because this disc is another one of those totally confusing musical journeys (albeit a short one, the running time is less than half an hour) that has a large chunk of electronica thrown in frequently. A couple of entirely electronic tracks make an appearance; the rest consists of unsettlingly sparse tunes, live performances and, finally, awful remixes. It’s a charming little thing, in a way, but it could easily have you scratching your head and wondering just why the hell you shelled out all that money for it. Sure, it’s Radiohead, and worthy of anyone’s hard-earned cash, but this CD is littered with nonsense and unnecessary quirkiness at quite a few points. It therefore struggles to build up the significant amount of genius required to warrant a high rating. Thus the three stars. Read on and I shall reveal all…

Track Listing
1.2 + 2 = 5 [Live at Earl’s Court, London] -- 2.Remyxomatosis (Christian Vogel Remix) -- 3.I Will (Los Angeles Version) -- 4.Paperbag Writer -- 5.I Am A Wicked Child -- 6.I Am A Citizen Insane -- 7.Skatterbrain (Four Tet Remix) -- 8.Gagging Order -- 9.Fog (Again) [Live] -- 10.Where Bluebirds Fly

Well, one of the main reasons why I’ve downrated this album so disastrously is due to the predominantly horrible remixes. “Remyxomatosis” is Christian Vogel’s version of “Myxomatosis” from Hail To The Thief. Now, I was never a big fan of the original myself, but this one just takes the biscuit as the most horrible thing I’ve ever heard. It’s utter balderdash (ooooh, nice word, that). Nothing exists aside from an annoying popping beat; Yorke’s lazy, slurred vocals; and a general sense of uneasiness at how _bad_ this thing actually is. It drags on for way too long than is really necessary, and Yorke actually sounds like he’s convulsing at one points (his vocals are distorted and robotic). The other remix isn’t quite as vomit-inducing, but I always liked the little weeping guitar melody of “Scatterbrain,” and Four Tet’s remix takes that away. So don’t be expecting much of a reaction out of me for this one either. The song _is_ still sweepingly beautiful, but in a more processed and less natural way. Or something. I do like it, just not as much as the original.

There is a pretty stirring live rendition of "2 + 2 = 5" planked down right at the start, and in truth it really doesn’t sound all that much removed from the album version of the track. The same could be said about the Los Angeles version of “I Will”-- there is less of a focus on vocals here than in the album track, but the song carries exactly the same feel and mood. So, thus far, there is nothing on this disc to justify the price slapped upon it.

Then we hit the two instrumental tracks, which are just downright insane. Both of the songs contain copious amounts of “fuzzy blotching” (and I’m sure voxpoptart will be happy to hear about that). “I Am A Citizen Insane” (appropriate title there) is the slightly weaker of the two, being on the more fuzzy side of the blotching thing, but with an odd little sunrise-like melody creeping up behind things. There is a very dense dance-style beat that grows in prominence as the track grows in confidence and pace. Some annoying burbly shouts and squeals ease their way into the background somehow. “Where Bluebirds Fly” is awesome. It just is. The beat here is more on the blotching side of the fuzzy, and it could even be called “crackling.” Wow. Listen close to your Rice Krispies when you put milk into them. Now imagine that sound put through a megaphone. You’ve got it! A very eerie little melody blips and bloops in atop this beat, and eventually some zombie-like moans (I know that socrazy will appreciate those) work their way into it, courtesy of Thom and probably Ed O’Brien too. Very entrancing, and it’s liable to draw you in and never let you go. The joys…

So maybe we’ve found a bit of worth in this disc at last. “Paperbag Writer” is the first unusual thing that you will come across when listening to this disc. With lyrics like “Blow into this paper bag / Go home and stop grinning at everyone / Like they were honeybees or a plague of rats / Take your armour off, you’re not under attack” it’d be easy to see why I picked the word “unusual.” But anyway, Guildenstern affirms that there isn’t a groove to this track, but I will contradict him (oh how I love to do that), and say that there is one. (And am I name-dropping a little too much in this review?) There’s nothing groovier here than Colin Greenwood’s funky bass line-- one of the best things he’s come up with for ages. When I first heard the little dots of bass thumping all over the place, I was bemused and really didn’t know what to think. But they make this track interesting (apart from the bass all that’s present is another processed beat and some creepy, ghostly, sweeping string sounds). The bass is awesome, ‘nuff said. The live rendition of “Fog (Again)” is glorious, just Thom and a piano. When you hear Radiohead as stripped-down as this, you realise how great they really are (in that they can make complex electronica sound good alongside the simplest of song formulas, and make both styles sound _equally_ good).

What’s left? Since it’s a small CD, I’ll mention the remaining stuff briefly. “I Am A Wicked Child” is nothing special. It doesn’t really grip you like anything else, being a fairly restrained song with a firm-yet-relaxed beat and a melodic little guitar riff. Yorke’s vocals are the usual “slit your wrists” type of stuff (at least to the rest of the world) while he sings things like “Now I wake up in the night / Lying on my bed / It’s tugging at my arms and legs / Like I was a marionette / Send baby Jesus / Surely it is time / Send baby Jesus / Let him radiate his light.” The acoustically refreshing “Gagging Order” is another fine example of when the band goes simple yet good. Just guitars and Thom singing. Excellent.

Okay, so are you still shocked that I gave Com Lag only three stars? Didn’t think so. Actually, if I was being really mean I could’ve easily dropped the rating down to two. However, this EP-- while being extremely inconsistent and never building up into a settled rhythm-- has a lot of very entrancing and typically weird moments that almost raise it up to Radiohead levels. Although, to be honest, I can’t see myself listening to this one very often. It’s liable to sit and gather dust as I pick up one of the band’s other fantastic CDs instead. Every single time. I wouldn’t recommend Com Lag to anyone except Radiohead purists, as you’re unlikely to find anything of worth in here if you’re not one. Go figure. The fans can put their wet dreams on hold for a while.

Excellent: NONE
Good: 2 + 2 = 5, I Will, Paperbag Writer, Gagging Order, Fog (Again), Where Bluebirds Fly
Average: I Am A Wicked Child, I Am A Citizen Insane, Skatterbrain
Weak: Remyxomatosis

Final Rating: 9/20


More on the best band in the world
Pablo Honey
My Iron Lung EP
The Bends
OK Computer
Airbag EP
Kid A
Amnesiac
Hail To The Thief



Recommended: No